“Indeed,” Matt says, giving me a look I can’t quite read.
We get onto the train, Matt gesturing at me to get on first. I take a window seat and silently pray that Matt sits beside me. He does. I tell myself it means nothing. How could he sit anywhere else without looking like a total jerk? That doesn’t stop my heart from racing too fast as I feel his leg pressing against mine. My stomach whirls, my clit throbbing. I am eager for more of his touch, a touch more intimate.
I clear my throat and look out of the window for a moment, trying to slow my heart rate down.
“Is the station that interesting or am I that boring?” Matt asks after a couple of seconds.
I turn back to him, shaking my head. “Neither. I thought I saw someone I knew, that's all,” I lie.
“Well, it’s good to know you don’t think I’m boring.” He winks.
“Ah… I didn’t exactly say that did I?” I tease him. “I don’t know enough about you to decide that yet.”
The train gives a whistle and pulls slowly out of the station, picking up speed.
“We’ll have to see what we can do about that then.” Matt nods. “I’d hate for your thrilling commute to become boring.”
I bite my lip to stop myself from blurting out what’s in my head; the commute is already a hundred times more exhilarating than any other train journey I’ve ever taken. I am saved from embarrassing myself when the ticket collector comes to our seat, asking to see our tickets.
I pull mine from my jacket pocket and he takes it and stamps it. Matt asks for a single to Felton and pays the conductor. I wonder briefly how he got to work if not on the train, but I don’t ask. He could have caught a bus, or been dropped off by a friend. It’s not suspicious and I need to stop trying to make Matt out to be some sort of fucking James Bond.
The ticket inspector moves on and Matt turns back to me. “So the more I think about it, the more you’ve convinced me that I am actually pretty boring,” he says. “I had a normal childhood with normal parents and normal siblings. And now I’m a normal waiter in a normal restaurant. There is one thing though, something I try to keep quiet, but you seem like someone I can trust.” He looks around, beckoning me closer.
I hold my breath, waiting for his big secret. I’m nervous suddenly, unsure of what he’s about to reveal.
Lowering his voice he says, “Sometimes, if we have a family meal and no one is looking, I take the last roasted potato.”
I throw my head back and laugh, surprised at how easily he was able to reel me in.
He laughs with me, enjoying my reaction.
“You’re a bad man.” I laugh. “Everyone knows the last potato is off limits.”
“I’m a monster,” he confirms. “But not boring right?”
“Right,” I agree as I chuckle.
We chat some more and I begin to see the real Matt, the person beneath the cool and arrogant exterior. He’s warm and funny, so I find myself relaxing completely in his company. He still has a profound effect on me, the intensity of his gaze, the way he rests his hand on my knee for a second as we laugh, but it seems more genuine now. I realize he’s not arrogant at all. His humor is mostly self-deprecating and I think his arrogance is most likely a front he puts up to appear more confident than he is.
All too soon, my stop approaches. I’m not ready for this to be over. I’m doing the worst job of avoiding Matt, but now I’ve seen a different side to him, I have to wonder if I should even want to keep my distance from him. “This is me,” I say, as the tinny voice announces my upcoming stop.
Matt stands up and lets me pass. “Are you working tomorrow?” he asks me.
“Yeah. I’m on the closing shift all week. You?”
“Same,” he says.
The train pulls to a stop and I make for the doors.
“So I guess I’ll see you tomorrow, Callie.”
I can’t help but feel a shiver run through my body as I step off the train and feel Matt’s eyes on me, watching me across the station.
Chapter Four
Matt
I watch Callie until she’s out of sight. The second she moves through the turnstiles and off the platform, I jump to my feet and run for the doors, making it through just in time before they hiss closed. I move in the opposite direction to where I’ve seen Callie disappear from sight. I slip into the men’s room and go into a cubicle, locking the door. I have to make sure she’s out of sight before I leave the station. I don’t want to risk her turning around and seeing me.
I stand in the cubicle, trying my best not to touch anything and not to breathe too deeply. It’s not exactly clean and I don’t want to spend a minute longer here than I have to, but sometimes, needs outweigh everything else and this is one of those times.
I keep looking at my watch, waiting for ten minutes to pass. Each minute feels like an hour, and I give up after five minutes and leave. I go back out onto the platform, glad to be able to take a deeper breath. I leave the station and pull my phone out of my jeans pocket. I make a quick call and arrange to be picked up from the station.
I lean my back against the wall and wait, my mind going back to Callie. I smile to myself as I hear her musical laughter in my mind. I love being able to make her laugh, love thinking I could maybe make her happy.
But it’s a road I can’t afford to go down. I can’t let myself get emotionally attached to Callie.
