“Have you seen her?” I ask.
Matt seems to be determined to make me ask the questions to get the information from him, even though he must know it’s killing me to have to practically beg him for the information.
“Yeah I’ve seen her. I ran into her a couple of days ago. She looks good Seb. Damned good. She still has that shock of red hair; it’s right down almost to her ass now. And she’s filled out in all of the right places if you get my drift.”
Oh I get his drift alright. My cock is twitching just thinking about Kimberley all grown up.
“She’s really grown into herself. She’s beautiful now,” Matt says.
“She was always beautiful,” I say before I can stop myself.
Matt grins at my words.
“But then all of the women I sleep with are beautiful,” I add, more for my own benefit than his.
If I thought he was going to let me save face that easily, I was sorely mistaken. He is most definitely enjoying my discomfort. He nods, an exaggerated nod.
“Yeah I’m sure they are, but not like Kimberley. She’s … something else,” he says.
“Maybe I should be calling up Callie and telling her she’s got competition,” I say.
Matt laughs.
“I don’t think she’d be even close to how jealous you are right now,” he says. “About our chat I mean.”
“You spoke to her?” I say, again ignoring his jibe.
“Sure,” Matt says. “I told you I ran into her. What did you think I did? Just ignored her?”
I shrug. I hadn’t thought that for a minute, but I just wanted to find out what they had to talk about without having to come out and ask, but Matt pauses again, clearly waiting for me to ask. God sometimes I really fucking hate Matt. He loves to watch me squirm and today is no exception.
“So how is she? What’s she up to?” I ask, doing my best to sound like I’m just making casual conversation.
“You seem awfully interested in her,” Matt says.
“She’s an old friend. Why wouldn’t I be interested in how she’s doing?” I ask.
“You weren’t interested when I told you I ran into Bobby St Clair a couple of weeks ago.”
“Who?”
“Exactly. You don’t even remember half of the people you used to know. But Kimberley …”
“Is different,” I finish.
My small confession softens Matt slightly and he begins to tell me about their run in without me having to keep digging for more.
“She’s good. She’s done well for herself. She’s the CFO at a big company. She’s in town on business actually. She’s staying at the Hilton on Mercer Way. She always did like her luxuries. And now she’s living the jetsetter lifestyle. She’s just got back from a three month tour of Europe. Rome, Paris, Madrid, Prague. You name it, she’s been there.”
“Sounds like she’s really made it,” I say.
“Yeah she has. You should see her tan. She was glowing,” Matt adds,
There’s one more thing I want to ask, but I am afraid of the answer. I think I know the answer. Kimberley was never really the settling down and getting married type, but people change. I’ve changed. Maybe she has too. I have to know.
“So does she have any kids?” I ask, skirting around the topic.
“Kimberley the workaholic with a kid? Are you kidding me?” Matt laughs.
Despite myself, I find myself laughing along with him. Nothing about Kimberley says maternal. She never hated children, she just hated the idea of having her own. Being tied to a tiny human instead of a desk was never her idea of a life she wanted.
“It was a dumb question,” I admit.
And not at all the one I wanted to ask.
“I wonder how her partner feels about her aversion to kids,” I say.
I was going for casual, but I can hear the tremor in my voice as I say it and I know Matt must hear it too.
“She hasn’t got a partner currently. And when she finds one, she’s not exactly backwards in coming forwards. I’m sure she’ll make it known early enough in the relationship that if it’s a deal breaker, the guy can flee.”
“Yeah,” I laugh. “Kimberley doesn’t hold back. If she wants something, then everyone knows it. And equally if she doesn’t want something then everyone knows it.”
Like when she no longer wanted me.
I push the thought aside, concentrating instead on the joy of hearing that she’s not taken. Not that it matters. I’m well and truly over Kimberley and I don’t want to go back there. Not even a little bit. I was just curious that’s all.
I try to convince myself my thoughts are true. It’s hard work, but I think if I tell myself it often enough, I can start to believe it. Because no matter what happens, no matter what old feelings hearing Kimberley’s name stirs up inside of me, it’s in the past. She’s in the past. And I won’t risk going there again.
I’ve heard enough and although hearing Kimberley isn’t married stirred a warmth inside of me, a warmth I haven’t felt for a long time, I know the idea of running into her is dangerous. I stand up abruptly.
“Well I best be getting on. Listen Matt, I’m going to organise a business trip out of town.”
“What?” Matt demands.
“You heard me. I don’t need a reminder of the past Matt. I’ll be going somewhere far away and staying gone until Kimberley goes back to wherever the hell she came from.”
Matt jumps up and crosses his office, standing in front of the door so I can’t walk out. What is it with people standing in front of doors today?
“Look Seb, I know I’ve been winding you up about this, but come on. Think rationally. The Benton
