As the team came off the field celebrating, I gestured towardthe cookies. “Great game, guys. To celebrate the win, Jefferson brought us all atreat. Go Eagles!”
“If only he could kick a field goal,” someone said under theirbreath.
I didn’t see who said it or I would have called them out. “It’sa team win. We celebrate as a team.”
“Jefferson sucks,” added someone else through a fake cough.
The whole team laughed.
“We’re celebrating our team win together right now,” I saidmore firmly.
Smith rolled his eyes at me. And not in a cute way like Pennydid. But in a disrespectful way.
“Everyone eat a damn cookie or I’ll have you running sprintsuntil Monday morning!” I wasn’t sure what made me snap. Maybe it was thefrustration of not being able to help Jefferson fit in. That I just kept makingit worse somehow. Or maybe it was the stress of who was in the stands. I didn’tknow. But I did know what it was like to be on the team. They’d all be going toa house party tonight. Drinks. Drugs. They didn’t want cookies. I’d basicallyset Jefferson up for failure.
I grabbed a cookie and bit into it a little more violentlythan necessary. “Now,” I added and pointed at one of the trays.
The team slowly obliged. But I knew I hadn’t helped Jeffersonat all. I’d just made myself look like a dick and showed favoritism towardeveryone else’s least favorite player.
Jefferson pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose as hewatched everyone grab a cookie.
“These really are great,” I said with my mouth full.
He smiled, but it didn’t look like he believed me.
I felt defeated. I was trying my best, but I was just makinghis life at Empire High worse. There had to be a way to improve his game. Ijust…didn’t know what it was. I patted Jefferson on the back. “We’ll keeppracticing next week, okay? I know you’ve got this.”
He nodded and then went to pick up his trays of cookies, oneof which had gone entirely untouched.
“Great game,” Penny said as the stands emptied. Scarlett wasasleep in her arms, and Tanner looked very pleased with himself.
“Thanks. Here, let me.” I lifted Scarlett up. She really wasgetting heavy.
I felt someone staring at me. I looked over to see the one-nightstand no longer smiling. Actually, she seemed rather horrified. She looked backand forth between me and Penny and then retreated into the crowd.
Weird. I looked down at Scarlett. Oh. Shethought… I lifted my gaze to meet Penny’s. That woman must have thoughtthat this was my family. Scarlett my daughter. Penny my wife.
And for the first time in ages, I wanted it. I wanted a family.A wife. A fucking life. I immediately pushed the thought away. I’d made apromise to Brooklyn. To love her and only her. And despite what she thoughtbefore she died, I wasn’t a liar. It was like I could feel the guilt twistaround my chest. I don’t want a family. I don’t want a wife. I’m fine.
“Do you guys want to grab milkshakes or something tocelebrate?” Penny asked. “I know there’s a diner down the street. I couldreally go for a chocolate milkshake right now. It feels very high school.”
Tanner laughed. “Sounds good to me. Although back in my daymilkshakes didn’t…” he cleared his throat. “Sorry, something in my throat. Theyweren’t popular, I mean.” And then he nudged me in the ribs. Which in Tannerspeak meant he had something to tell me. Which meant he’d grilled Penny. And hehad answers.
“Yeah, let’s get out of here.” I needed those answers. And Ineeded to be as far away from this stadium as possible tonight. Because Icouldn’t stand here thinking about a possible future without feeling like amonster.
Chapter 6
Friday
“So Tanner has a few ideas about your potential datingprospects,” Penny said.
I choked on my milkshake.
She started talking again, oblivious to the fact that I wasgoing to die a slow painful milkshake death. “And it will be kind of nice tohave his help because James doesn’t exactly like us hanging out alone. He’s gotit stuck in his head that you want to sleep with me.” She laughed like thethought was ridiculous.
It wasn’t. It really, really wasn’t.
“Don’t worry, I promised him that you don’t have feelings forme like that,” she said. “But he’s being really stubborn about this. You knowhow he gets a little overprotective sometimes.”
“Oh yeah,” Tanner said, slapping me on the back to help withmy choking. “Sorry, I forgot to give you a heads-up. During the game I foundout that James knows about Penny helping you find true love.”
Clearly. How the fuck did James find out? What thehell was going on?
“It’s cool,” Tanner said. “We have a solution to work aroundthat. A loophole, if you will.”
I ignored him. “Penny, you promised you wouldn’t tell anyone,”I said.
“Right. Any random person. Or like one of our friends.But I tell James everything. You know that. I don’t know how to keep a secretfrom him. Besides, we have cameras all over our apartment. He wanted to knowwhy you were there. And don’t look at me like that. Tanner was the one thatbrought it up at the game. So we’re even. I told my husband and you told your…yourTanner.”
My Tanner? I didn’t have time to digest how gay thatsounded. Because James was going to kill me for sneaking around behind his backwith his wife. I was having dinner with him and Mason and Rob tomorrow night. Whichmeant I probably wouldn’t live to see Sunday.
“I’m sorry,” she added. “I really am. James asked and Icouldn’t lie. You know I’m a terrible liar.”
She was. But still. Fuck.
Tanner cleared his throat. “Anyway, back to what I was saying.Penny’s going to let James know that I’m helping you find true love too. Soit’s no longer an issue of the two of you hanging out.”
If he said “true love” one more time I was going to snap. I’dtold him that this stupid dating app thing wasn’t about finding true love. Itwas about getting to hang out with Penny one on one.
