I slid my phone over to Tanner.
He looked down at the text from Mr. Pruitt. “Again? What adick. It’s like every time you start to move on, he pulls you back into thisshit.”
It was kind of Tanner to say, because we both knew I wasnever even close to moving on.
“Maybe you should just answer him and get it over with,”Tanner said as he ordered us another round.
“I have nothing to say to him.”
“I know. But he clearly has something to say to you.” He handedme my phone back.
I looked down at the text. I could practically hear Mr.Pruitt’s voice: “Matthew Caldwell, it’s Richard Pruitt. We need to talk. It’surgent. Please stop by tomorrow at 7 pm. The staff is expecting you.” He evenput his address.
Pretentious prick. Why would he just assume I was freetomorrow at 7? I wasn’t. And I knew his freaking address. His apartment wasingrained in my head, no matter how hard I tried to forget. The last place Iever saw Brooklyn. Her crying in the foyer. I’d left her alone with thatmonster. My stomach turned.
Tanner leaned over to see some of the previous messages. “Today’smessage is different than the others. Apparently now it’s urgent.”
“Everything with Mr. Pruitt is urgent.”
Tanner laughed. “Why do you still call him Mr. Pruitt?”
Tanner was weird about titles. It was respectful to callsomeone Mr. or Mrs. that was older than you. Especially someone that I grew uparound. I’d never heard Tanner call anyone Mr. or Mrs. even if they were 50years older than him. “I just always have,” I said. I hadn’t spoken to Mr.Pruitt since the funeral. He’d let me take a few of Brooklyn’s things. And thatwas it. He was going to be my father-in-law. And now I wanted nothing to dowith him. Because as much as I blamed myself for what happened to Brooklyn? Hewas the real reason she was dead. And even though Brooklyn was his daughter, Iwas the only one that seemed to care that she was gone. Mr. Pruitt could go tohell.
“Want me to set his car on fire or something?” Tanner asked withouta hint of humor in his voice.
I laughed even though he definitely seemed serious. Car firessounded a lot more like something Mr. Pruitt would do. And I didn’t want tostoop to his level. “Maybe some other time.”
Tanner shrugged. “Just let me know. In the meantime, maybeyou should change your number again.”
I’d changed my number five times. The messages still came. Mr.Pruitt was officially stalking me. “I’ll just ignore it.”
“You can’t ignore it if you get this shaken every time hetexts you,” said Tanner. “Living life in fear is no way to live.”
“I’m not living my life in fear. And I’m not shaken.”
“Whatever you want to call it. These messages clearly getunder your skin. And if I’ve learned anything in my time on this earth,harboring resentment is no way to live.”
His grand proclamation was a little shaky since he was a fewyears younger than me. “It’s not just his text that’s bothering me.” I stareddown at the glass the bartender had just placed in front of me. “I thought Isaw her again.” I didn’t tell him that I almost got in an accident because ofit.
Tanner winced. “I’m sorry, man. Did that thing happen again? Whereit was hard to breathe?”
I nodded and lifted the glass. “I hate the autumn.” All thememories came flooding back every fall. It was like she was still here.
“It’ll get better. The memories. They won’t feel so painfulsoon. One day you’ll be able to appreciate the way the fall reminds you ofher.”
That was another reason why it was so easy to talk aboutBrooklyn with Tanner. A girl that he was dating died when he was pretty youngtoo. He didn’t grow up around here. All I knew was that it had something to dowith an arranged marriage. His parents were old fashioned or from a differentcountry or something. He never gave me all the details. But I saw the ghosts inhis eyes too. It was fine that he didn’t want to talk about it. Sometimes Ididn’t want to talk about Brooklyn either.
“You’re sure you shouldn’t see a doctor about that?” heasked. “The trouble breathing thing?”
It was nice to have one person in my life other than mymother that was concerned about me. But I had a handle on this. “I’m not goingto see a doctor about having panic attacks caused by visions of my deadgirlfriend. They’d lock me up.” Besides, I knew how to make them pass. Brooklynhad taught me how to help her breathe when she used to get panic attacks. Now Icould help myself. I didn’t need anyone’s help.
“They won’t lock you up.” Tanner took a sip of his drink andstared straight ahead, lost in thought. “So…did you hang out with Penny tonightbefore texting me?”
“How did you know that?”
“You always run to Penny when you’re sad. And to me afterbecause you feel guilty about hanging out with her.”
Fair enough. I sighed. “Yeah. I did.”
Tanner’s eyes lit up. “Don’t tell me…you finally got theballs to kiss her.”
Unlike the rest of my friends, Tanner had no loyalty toJames. And he had this weird thing about true love. Like what was meant to bewas meant to be. Destiny. Fate. All that.
I laughed. “No.” I pressed my lips together. “Almost. I don’tknow. She seemed so sad tonight. What the fuck is wrong with me?”
Tanner clapped his hand on my back. “Nothing is wrong withyou. It’s normal to not want to be alone when you’re having a shitty day. AndPenny’s probably sad because she’s in love with you and trapped in a terriblemarriage. If you sleep together, you’ll know for sure.”
I wasn’t sure if that
