“Joe Dickson?” She couldn’t possibly be talking about thesame prick I went to high school with. “Cupcake Joe Dickson?”
She lowered her eyebrows. “I mean he sells cupcakes. But noone calls him Cupcake Joe Dickson. Wait, do you know Joe?”
“Does his dad own Dickson and Son’s Sugarcakes?”
“Joe owns it now.” She shook her head. “Please God, tell me you’renot friends with my ex? What the actual hell is this date?!”
I laughed. “No, I’m not friends with him. I hate that guy.”
She looked significantly calmer. “I hate that guy. Sofreaking much.”
I smiled. This poor girl had clearly been through enough crapif she’d been married to Cupcake. The least I could do was buy her dinner. “Howabout we go back out there and you can tell me all about what happened betweenyou two?”
She laughed. “How have you not run away from this train wreckof a night yet?”
I shrugged. “I’m actually having a great time. I got to seeyou without a shirt and almost got head in a bathroom full of centipedes. Plusyou said I was gorgeous multiple times, and I’m very flattered.”
Her face started to turn red again.
“I think you said, and I quote, that I’m the definition ofperfection.”
“How long were you eavesdropping on me? You’re a horriblehuman.” She shook her head. “Am I drunk or something?”
“I don’t know.” Honestly, I wouldn’t be at all surprised ifshe was.
“Well, I need to be. Stat.”
“Here’s what we’re going to do. You’re going to put your sweatshirtback on. And I’m going to go back out there and order you some…”
“Wine. Any wine. I usually drink it out of a box so seriouslyjust order the cheapest thing on the list.”
I laughed. “Okay, you got it. See you in a few.”
“Nice to meet you!” screeched the phone.
“Damn it, Chastity” Ash said and lifted it up off the floor. “Whyis everyone eavesdropping tonight?”
“You didn’t hang up. I thought I was supposed to stay on thephone in case he was a murderer or something. Are you a murderer?” yelled herfriend to me.
“Um. No,” I said.
“That honestly wasn’t very convincing,” Ash said.
I shook my head. “I promise I’m not. I’ll let you two finishup…” I waved my hand around the bathroom. Gossiping? Getting dressed? Screamingabout centipedes? I honestly had no idea what I’d just witnessed.
Ash gave me a small smile as I left.
I figured there was a good chance she’d still climb out thebathroom window and run away. But if she didn’t? I really needed to hear abouthow the hell she’d married an asshole like Joe Dickson.
I went back to the table and sat down. The waiter came overand I ordered a bottle of white that wasn’t the cheapest one on the list,because I actually could be a nice guy. And I went ahead and ordered us somefood too. Because I was starving. And she’d told me to order something a normalperson would eat. I could handle that request.
A few minutes later, there was a glass of wine but still noAsh.
I glanced towards the bathroom. Her sweatshirt had seemedmostly dry. Maybe she was still trying to get advice from her friend. This hadto be the craziest date I’d ever been on. I was almost positive that Ash wasnuts. But I actually was having fun. Or else I would have walked out already. Ineeded to hear her whole story. Plus it would be great to relay this wholedisaster to Penny. The more details the better.
Several minutes later Ash sat down across from me fullyclothed again. “I really wish I could say that I was drunk right now, but I amdecidedly not. Give me a few minutes and we can pretend I was drunk the wholetime.” She took a huge sip from her glass of wine. Then shimmied her shouldersslightly and took a deep breath. “Okay. Try two. Sorry about that,” she saidvery seriously. “Now, where were we?”
I just blinked. “You were telling me about your husband.”
“Soon-to-be ex-husband.”
“Right. Whatever possessed you to marry a guy like Joe?”
She sighed and took another sip of wine. “It’s a long story.”
“I have some time.”
“You are so weird,” she said.
“Me?” I raised my eyebrows. She had to be kidding me rightnow.
“Yeah. What are you still doing here? I basically just sexuallyassaulted you in the bathroom. I should have been arrested ten minutes ago. Iwas waiting for the cops in there…”
“I told you I wasn’t going to report you.”
“Oh.” She nodded. “I thought that maybe you were joking.”
I shook my head. Honestly I’d just found the whole scenehilarious. I would never call the cops on her.
“Well, in that case…can we just start over and pretend thelast few minutes didn’t happen? Let’s pretend I just walked in and sat down. Andpretend I’m wearing a nice dress too. Use your imagination.” She cleared herthreat. “Hi. I’m Ash.” She offered me her hand.
At least the pit stains on her sweatshirt were gone. Ireached out my hand and shook hers. “Nice to meet you. I’m Matt.”
Her smile was so big that I couldn’t help but smile too.
“So, Matt. Tell me all about yourself.”
I really wanted to talk about Joe instead. But it wouldn’thurt to play along. I had all night.
Chapter 17
Saturday
It sounded like Cupcake hadn’t changed at all. And the innocent,yet slightly crazy, woman in front of me definitely deserved better. She’d toldme the whole story of how they met and how he’d proposed. But never in herstory had she said she was in love. Because it was Cupcake. How could she be? “Soyou married him?” I asked and shook my head.
“What was I supposed to say? No?” She tore off a piece of thecomplimentary bread and dipped it into the olive oil. Her eyes lit up when shetook a bite and she immediately tore off another piece.
“Yes. That’s exactly what you were supposed to say.”
Ash laughed as she finished her second glass of wine and her secondroll. “In hindsight, I really wish I had. But he was my first boyfriend and Iused to suffer from a severe
