“What’s going on with you?”
She ran her thumb down the side of the mug. “I’m just worriedabout him.”
“I’m not asking about James. I’m asking about you. What slackis James being forced to be pick up?”
“That doesn’t matter. What matters is that James always putsthe weight of the world on his shoulders. Isabella’s father isn’t taking hiscalls and he doesn’t know how to make sure Scarlett is safe. We both know whatthe Pruitt family is capable of. James hired more security, but we’re not dumb.We know it’s not enough. And on top of all that, he’s worried you hate him.” Itlooked like she was going to cry again.
I swallowed hard.
“I told him that of course that wasn’t true. That he’s one ofyour best friends. But he just told me I didn’t understand. What don’t Iunderstand? Why are you two fighting? Things have been weird between you twoever since we came to your game. I overheard something about loving Brooklynlast night?”
I couldn’t breathe.
“I didn’t even realize you ever lived outside of Manhattan. AndJames is focusing on your fight and he won’t tell me what’s going on.”
So she didn’t know? She thought we both loved living in Brooklynor something? As in the place? Not my fiancée?
“James tells me everything. So if he’s not telling me this,it’s because you specifically asked him not to. And I don’t understand. Youknow everything about me, Matt.”
Not what it feels like to kiss you. “I don’t think that’strue.”
“I don’t keep stuff from you. Secrets are awful. God, if Ilearned one thing in that huge scandal with James, it’s that secrets are toxic.So what aren’t you telling me?”
I hated seeing her with unshed tears. I hated seeing herupset in any way. And I was pretty sure my brain short circuited, becausesomehow I’d gotten on the other side of the island and was standing right nextto her. I didn’t want to talk about her husband. I didn’t want to talk aboutany of this. All I could think about were ways to silence her with my lips.
She looked up at me. “Just tell me, Matt. Tell me what you’rekeeping from me.”
“You first.”
She pulled her eyebrows together. “I’m not…”
“You just said how toxic secrets are. But you’re hidingsomething too, Penny.”
“This isn’t about me. This is about you and James.”
“Fuck James.”
“That is so far from the answer that I expected. Fuck James? Seriously?How could you even say that? You’re one of his best friends. And I’m not hereto listen to you hurl insults at my husband. Don’t you see that insulting himis essentially insulting me?” She shook her head. “That doesn’t matter. Insultme all you want. I’m here because I love James and he’s upset because of you.I’m here to try to help fix whatever the hell is going on between you two. Hecares about you and I thought you cared about him.”
“He doesn’t care about me. He doesn’t care about anyone buthimself.”
“Excuse me?” She pushed her stool away from the counter andstood up. “James is right. I don’t know how I didn’t see it before. You aretrying to ruin his life. You’re trying to turn me against him. And for whatpurpose? We’re not pawns in some stupid game you’re playing. This is my life. James’life. We’re two of your best friends. I had your back. I told James that he waswrong. I tried to stand up for you and I came here to try to help mend whateveris broken between you. But you don’t even care. So you know what?” She stood upa little taller. “Fuck you.”
I’d never heard her curse before. I’d never seen her as upsetas she was right now. I should have just apologized. But instead, it was easierto throw more insults. “I’m not the one making you sad all the fucking time. Youshowed up at my doorstep wiping tears off your cheeks. Because of him. Anddon’t act like it’s the first time you came crawling to me when you want toescape from him.”
She opened her mouth. And then closed it again. She startedblinking fast like she’d done the other day before she’d run off withoutexplanation. “I’m not depressed because of James.”
I just stared at her. I never said anything about depression.Was she actually depressed? I just thought she was a little…sad. Her words mademy stomach twist into knots.
She closed her eyes like it pained her to say her next wordsto me. “James is the love of my life. He’s my whole world. He’s given meeverything. A life I never even dreamed of. I love him so much that it hurts. Ilove his friends like they’re my own family. And it hurts that I can’t give himanything in return. And I just wanted to fix what’s going on between youbecause I can’t fix me.”
What was she talking about? There wasn’t anything about herthat needed to be fixed. She was beautiful and smart and funny. I stared at heras her eyes locked with mine again. She was perfect exactly the way she was. “There’snothing wrong with you.”
She wrapped her arms around her stomach liked she was afraidshe was falling to pieces. “I’m not here to talk about me.” She took a deepbreath. “I don’t have any siblings. But all of you guys? You’re like thebrothers I never had.”
Ouch. I’d been worse than friend zoned. I’d beenbrotherized.
“And I know James thinks of you and Mason as brothers just asmuch as Rob. And until about ten minutes ago, I thought you considered him tobe family too. I don’t know what’s going on between you. But I need you to fixit. If you care about him at all. Please, Matt. He can’t handle any morestress. And I can’t lose him. I don’t know what I would do if I ever lost him.”
She’d mope around searching for ghosts on the city sidewalks.Just like I did with Brooklyn. Forever stuck. I pressed my lips together. Therewas no way to work around what she just said. She definitely
