I wrapped my arm around her waist. “Let me drive you home.”
“It’s all the way on the other side of town. I can take ataxi. I’ll be fine, really.” She wiggled her foot and pretended like she wasfine. But I could tell she wasn’t. She was in pain and she was putting on a braveface.
“I insist.” I scooped her up in my arms before she had achance to protest. She didn’t say a word as I got her safely into my car andpulled out onto the city street. The silence was comfortable between us, butfor some reason I still wanted to fill it. Maybe because I wanted her to fillin the gaps of her life that I’d missed. “What do you do for fun?” I asked.
“Photography is my hobby and my job. There isn’t really muchtime for anything else. What about you?”
Penny had asked me this same question recently. But I didn’twant to tell Kennedy that I worked out for fun. That seemed like a pompousanswer. “I coach the Empire High football team.”
“Really? Wow, I need to come to one of your games.”
I caught her smile out of the corner of my eye. “I’d likethat,” I said.
She turned to look out the window. She was absorbing the citylike it was her first time here. There was something sweet about it.
We drove on in silence until I pulled to a stop in front ofher mom’s old apartment building. Kennedy tried to protest again, but I carriedher up the few flights of stairs. I tried not to look at Brooklyn’s apartmentdoor. It would be filled with another family now. One not aware of the peoplethat had lived there before. Something in my chest tightened.
Mrs. Alcaraz opened up the door like she knew we were coming.
“Mi amor! What happened?”
“I’m fine, Mama,” Kennedy said. “Matt’s just being…Matt.”
I laughed at that as I laid her down on the couch.
She smiled up at me.
“Matt.” Mrs. Alcaraz looked up at me. She looked almostexactly the same, but she had a few lines around her eyes now. She put herhands on both sides of my face. “Mi amor,” she called me, just like she calledKennedy. “Why do you look so sad? You’re in good company now.” She let herhands fall from my face. “Let’s eat. Dinner is getting cold.”
***
I couldn’t remember the last time I’d smiled so hard. I usedto eat here all the time when Brooklyn and I had dated. Mrs. Alcaraz was the onlywoman I knew whose cooking rivaled my mom’s.
Kennedy walked me to the door. “Thanks for tonight. It wasnice seeing a friendly face in this city.”
“Any time.” My eyes wandered to her lips. I have no fuckingidea why.
“Matt?”
My eyes lifted back to hers.
“Give me your phone.”
I didn’t ask why she wanted it. But I handed my phone to herwithout protest.
She typed something in and handed it back to me. “You cantext me when you’re missing her. I bet I’ll be missing her too.” She shrugged. “Twolost souls in this crazy city could maybe feel a little less alone with a friend.”
A friend. Right. I shoved my phone into my pocket. Ibelieved that two lost souls could feel a little less alone together. In oneway or another.
“You deserve to be happy,” she said.
“So do you,” I said.
She smiled up at me. “How is it that you look almost the sameafter all these years?”
“How is it that you look even more beautiful?” I shouldn’thave said it. I was used to flirting. But flirting with my dead fiancée’s bestfriend? Definitely off-limits.
“You know what? Hold on one sec.” She left me alone standingat the door for only a minute. “It’s vacant right now. And my mom still hadthis.” She placed a key into my palm.
I looked over my shoulder at Brooklyn’s old apartment. Icouldn’t even imagine going in there.
“It was the first thing I did when I got back. I think beingin there gave me a little closure.”
I doubted it would do that for me. But I closed my handaround the key anyway.
She leaned forward to hug me. It took me by surprise, but assoon as her arms were wrapped around me, I sighed. I took a deep breath. Home.God, I wanted to just hold her right here forever.
But she pulled back. “Goodnight, Matt.”
“Goodnight, Kennedy.”
She closed the door and I turned around and faced the door toBrooklyn’s apartment. My mind screamed at me not to go in. But my feet seemedto have a mind of their own as they approached the door. And my hand as it unlockedit.
The door creaked opened and I stared at the empty kitchen. Thewhole place seemed so small. I stepped inside, picturing Uncle Jim’s warm smile.And Brooklyn’s big blue eyes. This place was filled with ghosts. I felt a tearroll down my cheek as I made my way into the small living room. It used to feelso full of love and laughter. And now it just felt…empty. I stopped outsideBrooklyn’s bedroom door, leaning against the doorjamb.
We’d fought in here. She’d threatened to push me off the fireescape when she was mad. And she promised to love me forever right there.
My knees must have given out, because I was somehow sittingwhere her bed used to be. I’d held her right here when she’d cried. I held herin my arms, hoping she’d feel whole again when she lost her uncle.
I promised her forever. Forever wasn’t supposed to be onlyfor a few months. This wasn’t supposed to be what happened to us. She shouldhave been here with me.
My fingers fumbled, pulling my phone out of my pocket. And Itexted the one person who would understand. Not my high school friends. NotTanner. “I don’t want to feel alone,” I texted.
Kennedy’s response came almost immediately. “Are you still inher apartment?”
I didn’t have time to respond before I heard the door creak. Shewas limping slightly, but she still showed up. She sat down next to me and puther head on my shoulder, just
