Her right hand was resting on her thigh. I reached out,lacing her fingers with mine. How had I been surviving without her? She’d beenmy rock after Brooklyn died. I looked down at her tear-stained face. I’d askedBrooklyn to send me a sign. Kennedy was it. I knew it. She had to be. I closedmy eyes and exhaled slowly, the smell of home surrounding me. I just didn’tknow what I was supposed to do with this sign.
Chapter 28
Wednesday
The light streaming into my room made me close my eyes tighter.My whole body ached. What was I sleeping on? Bricks?
Someone moaned.
I opened my eyes and stared down at Kennedy’s head on mychest. We weren’t in my room. We were still on the hardwood floor in Brooklyn’sold apartment. My back ached. But for just a few minutes, I didn’t move. All Icould do was stare down at Kennedy.
She sniffled like she was crying in her sleep. My chestached. But it had nothing to do with her head lying on it. It was somethingdeeper. And it hurt more as I stared at her. Despite the ache in my chest, ithad been a long time since I’d woken up feeling so…okay. Like my breaths were comingeasier. And I was very aware it was because of her.
I reached out to run my fingers through her hair, but I pulledback before I made contact. She was sleeping so peacefully. Her breath slowlyrising and falling.
I felt sick to my stomach. This was where Brooklyn and I hadfallen asleep. I never should have come in here. I never should have askedKennedy to come. But still, I didn’t move.
Had Kennedy shown up because I needed a friend?
Or had she shown back up in my life because I just neededher?
And I did need her. I think maybe I’d needed her this wholetime. She was the only one that understood. She was the only one that felt mypain so acutely. I’d always loved Kennedy as a friend. She’d been there whenI’d needed her the most. I wasn’t sure how I’d even pretended to be okay whileshe wasn’t in New York.
I heard my phone vibrating on the floorboards where I’d leftit last night. I wished it would stop. I wished I could freeze time.
But Kennedy yawned and slowly opened her eyes. For a secondshe seemed just as disoriented as I was. But when she realized I was her pillow,she sat up super fast. “I’m so sorry, we must have fallen asleep.” She wipedthe side of her face like she was worried there’d be drool or something.
There wasn’t. She looked beautiful. Honestly, I’d never seenher look more beautiful. Her eyes rimmed with red were real. And I always lovedreal beauty over a made up face any day.
“Sorry,” she said again, running her fingers through herhair, just like I’d wanted to do a second ago.
I wasn’t sure why she was apologizing. It was more my fault thanhers. “How is your ankle feeling?”
She rotated her ankle slowly and smiled. “It actually feelsquite a bit better. I guess a night on a hard floor was just what it needed?” Shelaughed.
There was another buzzing sound. Kennedy leaned over me andgrabbed my phone off the ground.
I was tempted to pull her down on top of me. To hold her likeshe’d held me last night.
“Is this the time?” she asked. “Shit, I have to go.” She ranher fingers through her hair again and pushed herself up.
I slowly sat up. “What time is it?”
“Nearly 7. And you have like 20 missed calls.” She handed memy phone.
I clicked on the screen. I also had about 50 unread texts. Allfrom Tanner. I clicked on the top one: “Where the hell are you?! I’ve beenwaiting up all night for you!”
Oh fuck. He’d expected me back at his house. He was probablyworried sick with everything going on with the hitwoman and Mr. Pruitt.
“Everything okay?” Kennedy asked.
I looked up at her. I hadn’t noticed it last night. But sometimeafter dinner and before my text, she must have changed into a pair of flannelpajamas with little polar bears all over them. She was even wearing a pair ofpolar bear slippers. “Everything’s fine.” I slid my phone into my pocket. “Ilike the PJs.”
“What?” She looked down.
I started laughing.
“Hey, I came over because you texted. I didn’t have time tochange.”
I couldn’t help it. I just started laughing harder. The polarbear slippers even looked like they were laughing.
“Don’t laugh at me.” She tore one of her slippers off and chuckedit at me.
I caught it and narrowly prevented the polar bear fromcolliding with my face.
“Nice to see you still know how to catch. Because you’vecertainly lost your prep-school manners. I think, ‘Thank you, Kennedy, forbeing wonderfully supportive,’ would be a more appropriate reaction thismorning. You’re welcome.”
“You’re right.” I stood up. “Thank you, Kennedy. For beingwonderfully supportive.”
“Was that so hard?” She snatched her slipper out of my hand. “Asfun as you laughing at me is, I really do have to go.”
“I’ll walk you out.” I have no idea why I said it. Thiswasn’t my place to walk anyone out of. I just knew that I wasn’t quite ready tosay goodbye yet.
We didn’t say anything as we made our way out of Brooklyn’sold place.
But before Kennedy reached her mom’s apartment door, I said, “I’lltext you.”
She turned around. She pressed her lips together and nodded. “Good.”
“Good.” I couldn’t help the smile that spread over my face. Shewanted me to text her. It felt like I was a kid again. This giddy feeling in mystomach. I felt stupid and excited all at once.
She rolled her eyes, just adding to the feeling that we werekids again. “Have a good day, Matt.” She left me alone in the hallway, with my stomachfeeling weird and about a million things I needed to do.
I would have called Tanner back right away. But Tanner would insiston an apology in person anyway. He
