“Matt.” Her tears fell freely from her eyes now, cascadingdown her chin.
It felt like I was crying too. But I didn’t think I was. It waslike I could feel her tears. Like they were somehow mine. “I’m not okay,Kennedy. I’m really fucking not okay.”
She didn’t say anything.
“But I feel less shitty when I’m with you.”
“I know.” She reached up and ran her fingers gently throughmy hair. “I feel a lot less shitty when you’re here too. But there’s a 50-50 chanceyou won’t remember any of this in the morning.”
There was no fucking way I wouldn’t remember kissing thisgirl.
“And I don’t gamble with my heart anymore,” she added. “I can’t.”
Is that what I was asking her to do? Fuck. It was. Iwas asking her to take a chance when I just told her I wasn’t sure if I couldever love someone else. And just like that, it wasn’t as easy to breathe again.
“Can we maybe just…” her voice trailed off. “Can we justwatch the movie? And if you remember any of this in the morning, maybe we cantalk about this more then?”
I wiped away the remaining tears from her cheeks, hating thatI’d caused them. “Okay.” Instead of sitting back up though, I lay down behind her,pulling her against my chest. Because if I couldn’t kiss her, I could at leasthold her. I needed this. I needed to be next to her.
A very contented sigh escaped her lips.
“Just for the record, I’m not that drunk,” I said from behindher.
She laughed, not caring when my arms tightened around her. “Youare. I don’t even think you’d be here right now if you weren’t.”
That wasn’t true. I couldn’t get her out of my mind. And I hadto prove that to her. “I’m going to remember to bring this up in the morning.”
“We’ll see about that.” She turned on a movie. I wasn’t surewhich one, because I was staring down at the top of her head. And I was hitagain with how much she smelled like…home.
She’d said Cupcake had broken her. I didn’t think that wastrue. But if it was, I was going to be the one to piece her back together. Ikissed the top of her head.
“Matt, watch the movie,” she whispered.
I kissed the top of her head again. “Okay.”
“Okay then.”
I continued to stare at the back of her perfect head. I’dbeen focused on my own problems for long enough. Fixing hers sounded like a betteruse of time. Besides, maybe it would fix both of us. I really wanted it to fixboth of us. I closed my eyes.
Despite what she thought, I would never gamble with herheart. Because I knew how easy hearts were to break.
Chapter 32
Thursday
The sound of someone clearing their throat made me slowly openmy eyes.
Mrs. Alcaraz was standing there with her hand on her hipstaring down at Kennedy and me intertwined on the couch. She was shaking her headback and forth like she couldn’t believe what she was seeing.
Shit.
“Mama,” Kennedy groaned, stirring in her sleep. “One moreminute.”
Mrs. Alcaraz raised her eyebrow at me. “Omelet?”
Was she asking me if I wanted breakfast or did that mean somethingin Spanish like…I’m going to kill you for sleeping with my daughter? “Yes?” Ireplied.
“Sí.” She turned away without another word and I breathed asigh of relief.
“Kennedy,” I whispered and shook her shoulder.
Her eyes flew open and then she smiled. “Whenever I wake upand you’re there it nearly gives me a heart attack.”
Very funny. “Um, your mom is up.”
Kennedy quickly sat up. “Good morning, Mama.”
“Mhm,” Mrs. Alcaraz said. She was already at the stovecooking.
Kennedy put her face in her hands. “Well, that’s embarrassing,”she whispered to me. “She probably thinks we’re sleeping together.” She laughedlike that was hilarious.
It wasn’t funny to me. I pulled her hands away from her face.“Is that really that funny?”
“Are you still drunk?” She climbed off the couch. “I need togo freshen up. Make yourself at home.”
“Don’t leave me here…”
But she was already hurrying toward the bathroom.
This was probably the most awkward morning after ever. Especiallybecause we hadn’t even kissed, let alone had sex. And honestly, I never didmornings after. Normally I would have been long gone…shit. I pulled outmy phone. Dozens of missed calls from Tanner. He was going to kill me forstaying out all night again. I wasn’t used to having a stupid curfew.
“Sit, sit,” Mrs. Alcaraz said before I could figure out whatto do.
I didn’t want to tell her no. And maybe this could help meclear up whatever she thought. “We just fell asleep watching a movie, Mrs.Alcaraz.”
She tilted her pan, sliding the omelet perfectly onto a plate,and then handed it to me.
“Thank you.”
For a second we both just stared at each other.
Mrs. Alcaraz sighed and then reached out, putting her handson both sides of my face. “Mi amor.” She shook her head back and forth. “Shejust came back home to me. Por favor. Don’t break my Kennedy’s heart and sendher running.”
“I won’t.”
“Bueno.” She patted my cheek before letting her hands fall. “Noweat. It’s getting cold.”
Kennedy reemerged in a dress that accentuated her long legs. Andthose worn boots looked perfect on her. “I’m running late,” she said. “I’llhave to skip breakfast this morning.”
“Nonsense.” Mrs. Alcaraz slid an omelet onto a plate forKennedy. “You eat your breakfast.”
Kennedy made a funny face at me, then grabbed her plate andsat down. She started eating as quickly as possible. That seemed like thego-ahead on mine. I took one bite and it was so spicy that I could feel mythroat closing up. I’d eaten here dozens of times when I was in high school. Andnever had Mrs. Alcaraz tried to kill me. I started coughing into my hand.
Mrs. Alcaraz laughed at the stove.
“Mama, did you put extra spices in his?” Kennedy scolded andgrabbed a container of milk out of the fridge. She poured me a glass and handedit to me. “Drink that.” She turned back to her mom as I downed half the glass.
