“I’m going to give you two a moment,” the hostess said andquickly walked away.
“Damn,” Tanner said. “Now she’s going to think we’re nottogether.”
“Tanner everyone in the fucking restaurant thinks we’retogether. You just kissed me.”
“I didn’t kiss you,” he said and sat down like he hadn’t justput his lips directly on mine.
I sat down too and leaned forward, hoping that a lower voicewould make everyone stop staring at us. “What the fuck do you mean you didn’tjust kiss me? I spoke in French and you literally tried to put your tongue downmy throat.”
He laughed. “Gross. I don’t want my tongue anywhere near yourtonsils. I was simply congratulating you with a platonic celebratory peck. AndI feel sorry for you for never having received one in your few years on this earth.”
“You are so weird.”
“You’re weird,” he said, even though he didn’t look veryinsulted by my comment. “Americans are so basic.”
I laughed and shook my head. He was technically an Americantoo.
“Next time I won’t congratulate you then. I’ll just sit here broodingeating my pastrami and bagels,” he said in an overexaggerated New York Cityaccent, that sounded very mobstery. “Actually, I don’t think they have eitherof those things. Maybe a New York City style cheesecake for your basic ass.”
“Okay, I get it. I’m basic. Don’t kiss me again.”
Tanner sighed. “Don’t make it sound so gay. It wasn’t a gaything. Now pretend we’re on a date so the waiters treat us the right way.”
“So don’t be gay? But be gay?”
“What? No. You’re just not getting it. We’re straight men ona fake gay date. Now let’s talk about your actual kiss. I thought you said youdidn’t like Poppy? But you’re on the front page of a dozen tabloids right nowgiving her an un-congratulatory kiss. I need to meet her immediately. Pleasetell me you haven’t sealed the deal yet.”
“Gross. She made me do it.”
“Are you telling me she put hands on you without permission?”He looked very concerned as he leaned forward. “You can tell me.”
“No. What? Are you seriously asking me if I got raped?”
“If you don’t want to talk about it, but it’s true, blinktwice. If you’re in a fragile state, I don’t mind talking to the police on yourbehalf. But if you could at least write down the details it would be helpfulfor the statement.”
I didn’t blink at all. “Poppy and I just made anarrangement.”
“Of the sexual variety? What was the contract like? I’d loveto see it, just in case it gives me a few more ideas.”
“No, not of the sexual variety. She agreed to not hurtScarlett as long as I pretend to date her.”
“Well that’s a boring contract.”
“I didn’t sign anything. It’s just a verbal agreement. Poppy wantsto take over the family business and doesn’t think Mr. Pruitt will step downuntil she seems like she can handle the finances. She thinks dating me willshow her uncle that she’s serious about every aspect of the business. And thedeal is only going to last as long as it takes for her to take over for Mr.Pruitt.”
Tanner just stared at me. “So have you had sex with her yetor not?”
“I’m not going to sleep with her.”
“Oh.” Tanner sighed. “Well, what a waste of a congratulatory kiss.”
“Yeah, if you ever try to kiss me again, I’ll punch you inthe face.”
He laughed. “In your dreams. Both the kissing and the punching.You couldn’t punch me. I’m much too quick. I’d have you rolling on the floor inpain before you even lifted your hand.”
“Yeah right.”
“Indeed. I am right.”
I reached out, not to punch him, but maybe just to slap himto prove my point.
But he grabbed my hand before it came anywhere close to him. Heslammed it onto the table, twisting my arm so I was leaning over. He’d somehowgrabbed a steak knife at the same time and was hovering it over my hand too.
“What the fuck?” I said.
He let me go, then twirled the knife in his hand and stabbedit into the bread on the table. “Can’t touch me.”
I rubbed my hand. Now I really did want to slap him. But I’dwait until I got a better opportunity. It would have to be a sneak slap-attack.
“Shall we order?” he asked and lifted up his menu.
“Where did you learn to do that?” I rubbed my hand again.
“Do what?”
“That kung fu shit you just did.”
“Oh, I just picked it up over the years. Oh wow, they do havecheesecake. Should I order you some?”
“I’m good.” I picked up the menu to look at the options.
“I’m just messing with you anyway,” Tanner said and set downthe menu. “I hope you’re hungry because I already know what I’m going to orderfor us.”
Of course he did. He’d want to know how delectable theirspecialties were.
He waved over the waiter and ordered half the menu. When thewaiter finally walked away, looking a little frazzled, Tanner sighed.
“They don’t seem to handle stress here very well,” he said. “That’stelling. They probably wouldn’t like surprises either.” He jotted somethingdown in his notebook. “Could you imagine one of those big cages over there withsome models dancing in it?”
I looked over to where he was pointing. “Sure. It wouldprobably fit.”
“Excellent.”
“So…” I let my voice trail off. I needed to word this asnicely as possible. “I really appreciate you letting me stay with you duringall this craziness with Mr. Pruitt. But now that I have that deal with Poppy…Ishould be safe to go back to my house.”
“You’re sure she’s trustworthy?” he asked.
No. Not really. But Nigel was driving me crazy. I couldn’tstay with Tanner any longer unless I wanted Nigel to…get the wrong idea orsomething. “Yeah, Poppy will stick to her word.”
Tanner nodded. “Well, regardless, you’ll have to speak toNigel about it. He’ll need to coordinate your move back.”
“I can’t talk to Nigel about it. He’ll never let me leave.”
“Of course he will. I’ll tell him to
