He had no business thinking about Addie that way, especially when he had no plans to stay. He knew so little about her, yet he felt like he knew her well. She was smart, sassy, sexy, funny, and far more vulnerable than she let on. She made him laugh and sometimes, he even forgot the pain he’d been carrying around for the last five years. Almost as if his heart had begun to pull itself into one piece again. But all of that had faded away after their talk.
“I don’t understand,” she’d said, searching his face after he’d finally admitted nothing could happen between them. “You kissed me back. Did I do something wrong?”
He’d held in the groan that had wanted to rumble out of his chest. The sadness in her voice and the insecurity in her pretty brown eyes had nearly done him in. But he couldn’t do the forever thing again. He was too screwed up, too shattered, and he didn’t want her to get hurt.
No, to protect them both, he’d had to be strong. And so far, he had continued to be, but every time he caught her eyes, he was tempted. Every minute he spent with her, his resolve weakened just a little more.
“I did kiss you back,” he’d said that Saturday after they’d finally returned home from the hay fields. “I am only human, Addie. You’re a beautiful woman, and I do like you, but I can’t be what you need.”
Something like hope flickered in her eyes, but the last part of his comment dowsed it. He’d hated to see that. Hated to see her shoulders sag under the heavy weight of disappointment. He’d opened his mouth to say something, though he hadn’t known what, but she had just shaken her head and looked away.
“Please understand, I don’t want to hurt you.”
Her eyes were shiny with unshed tears when she’d met his gaze again. “You think this feels good?”
That look had shredded him, but what could he say?
“No, I’m sure it doesn’t, but if we crossed that line now, it’d be worse later.”
Her shoulders had straightened and her brows had drawn down. “I’m a big girl, Cade. I can take care of myself. I don’t need your protection.”
He had merely nodded, but now he wondered, Who’s going to protect me?
Pulling the shed doors closed, he fastened the lock in place and turned for the house.
Addie wasn’t anything like the woman who’d torn his heart out and left him in pieces. And he wasn’t the same man. He was far harder now than he had been at twenty-four. Nothing said things between him and Addie had to go south the way they had with him and Jenny, but he couldn’t open himself up that way again.
Jenny had been beautiful, vivacious, and flashy, full of life and trouble. She’d stolen his heart the moment he saw her and had been way out of his league, but from the day they’d met in college, they’d been inseparable. He’d never known about the other men, had been too blinded by love to see—until his brother, Cord, had confronted him about six months after graduation. Cade had returned home with Jenny and had stupidly thought they’d make their life there together, but in a few short months, that had blown up in his face.
“She doesn’t want you,” Cord had said and Cade’s heart dropped to his toes, even as he stood taller.
“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” he’d shouted angrily.
“I know she came to my bed last night, saying she was looking for the better brother.”
That had hollowed out his chest and left him struggling to breathe. He hadn’t known how to respond. He’d wanted to punch his brother’s face in. Instead, he’d walked away.
When he’d confronted Jenny later that night, she hadn’t denied it.
“How can you do this?” he’d asked, his heart dying inside. “You said you loved me. We were going to spend our lives together.”
She’d laughed at him. “You were fun, Cade, and I love fun, but now all you do is work. You don’t pay attention to me and I’m bored. Your brother is just as handsome as you and the only other man around here for miles besides that old foreman of yours. Why wouldn’t I look to Cord for a good time when you’ve turned into such a drag?”
“You wanted to come here,” he’d reminded her. “You said you wanted to be with me.”
“Yeah, well, that’s when I thought you had a big place and lots of money.”
That had been the final nail in the coffin of their relationship.
Let Cord have her, he’d thought as he packed his meager possessions. He’ll figure her out one day, too.
He and Cord had been close at one time, as close as brothers could be. Maybe that’s why the betrayal had hurt so much.
Shaking his head as he wiped his boots on the rug in Addie’s garage, Cade shoved those thoughts back into a dark corner of his mind. He pushed open the door and stepped into the mudroom. Kicking his boots into the corner, he washed his hands, hung his jacket on a hook by the door, and then stepped into the kitchen. The lights were off, but a dim illumination came from the living room. He closed the door quietly and in his stocking feet, Cade made his way to the hallway off the front room.
The late news was playing on the television with Addie fast asleep on the couch. She looked lovely curled on her side in her pink terry cloth robe with one of the throw pillows positioned under her head. The soft contours of her face glowed in the low light, melting the wall around his heart a little more. He wanted nothing so much as to pick her up in his arms, carry her to his bed, and hold her tight all night.
His dick twitched
