Addie sighed. “I never said he wasn’t a kind and caring person. I know he doesn’t want me to get hurt. I know he’d probably do it again, but it doesn’t mean anything more than that. I can’t let it. Besides,” she said as she set her mug on the table, “I have a ton of baggage he doesn’t need and no money to pay him anymore.” That was truer than she wanted to think about right now. Based on the short conversation she’d had with her banker yesterday, it was likely she would have to sell her dream just to survive, and she dreaded going back to the cramped and busy life of Seattle. Not to mention the heavy responsibility she felt toward Pete and their agreement about the harvests.
“Cade doesn’t care about the money,” Cord replied. “He cares about you.”
She didn’t reply, only looked at him with a raised eyebrow, unwilling to continue the circular argument.
Apparently getting the point of her annoyed stare, his lips thinned. They’d argued that topic half a dozen times already. A moment later, he sighed and crossed to the couch. He sat, resting his head back on the cushion behind him. His eyes were closed, his arms hanging limply at his side, but she could see worry etched on his face. And he looked…defeated.
“I’m sorry,” he said, so quietly she almost didn’t hear him.
“What for?”
“I thought coming here would be a good thing. That I’d get my brother back, whether he came home or not.” He lifted his head and she saw pain in his eyes. “I never meant to become a wedge between you or an excuse for Cade to leave.”
Her breath stuck in her throat. How could he think that?
“Oh, Cord, it’s not your fault,” Addie said sadly. “This was going to happen at some point. I’m just glad he’s going home with you and not meandering the road with strangers.”
“True,” Cord replied, “but I honestly don’t think he wants to leave.”
“He’s never wanted to stay.”
“I’m not so sure about that.”
Addie shrugged. “He’s leaving, isn’t he? His bags are packed and he’s distanced himself from me. I may not like it, but it is for the best…” she reached over and took his hand, “for both of us.”
“I think you’re wrong about that,” Cord said, giving her hand a little squeeze and a sad smile that broke her heart. “I think he needs you.”
“Maybe, but it’s up to him to realize that. Not for me to change his mind.”
He turned toward her and leaned forward. Taking her hand in both of his, he looked at her with grave honesty. “Look, us Brodys, we’re a stubborn bunch, and sometimes it takes a while for us to come around, but we’re not dumb.” He grinned. “At least, not all the time. Cade will figure himself out, and I have no doubt he’ll choose you when he does.”
Addie pulled her hand from between his warm, calloused palms and tugged the blanket up to her shoulders. Her eyes burned, but she refused to cry again.
“I want to believe that, Cord. I really, really do. But given everything I know, I can’t hope for it. I just…can’t.”
Chapter 30
Addie splashed cold water onto her face, hoping to ease her gritty eyes and hot cheeks, but when she looked at herself in the mirror, she could see it did no good. Her nose and cheeks were still red and her eyes were visibly puffy. The fact that she’d been crying uncontrollably for the last half hour was obvious, but there was nothing more she could do about it.
Grabbing a towel off the rack, she dried her hands and face before going back to her bed. She fell back onto her quilt and stared at the ceiling.
What are you doing? she asked herself. Cade is gone, and you have work to do. So much work that would never lead anywhere.
Her insurance would cover some of the costs for rebuilding the barn, but not nearly enough to keep her out of debt. And her honest, responsible side said she would still owe Pete, the previous owner, for the profits of the hay that had burned. At least half of the crop had been stored in that hayloft, and she had no idea how she would make up the difference.
Jorje had said that he would still help, even without the promise of a paying job at the end of the month, but she couldn’t let him do that. He needed to pay his rent, too. She would have to find some way to do it herself. It’s not like this was the first time she’d been all on her own. It was just…
Tears welled in her eyes again. Maybe I should’ve gone with him…
“The offer’s still open, Addie,” Cade had murmured as he sat behind the wheel of his running truck, letting the engine warm up. “You can still come with me.”
It had been less than an hour ago that Cordell had made himself scarce, telling Cade he’d meet him at the gas station in town. She almost wished he hadn’t given them the short moments of privacy.
She had shaken her head at Cade’s words, unwilling to rehash everything again. “No, Cade. I can’t. My place is here and you need to go home and get your life back. You should go.”
His eyes had narrowed and he opened his mouth as if to argue, but when she’d lifted a challenging brow, he sighed and nodded sadly. The defeated look on his face nearly did her in. She could see it hurt him to go, but he was still leaving. Besides, if he wanted her to give up everything she’d ever worked for to follow him, he’d have to offer
