“Okay,” he’d said, throwing the truck into gear after a long, uncomfortable pause. “You have my number. Call if you need anything. I’ll be here.”
“Thank you, but that won’t be necessary.” Pride had made her say that. She’d always been able to take care of her own problems, but this time, he was the problem and she wasn’t sure she’d ever recover.
“Please, Addie…” his blue gaze begged her even more than his voice, “I’d feel better if you’d let me know how you’re doing with…” he glanced over at the charred remains of her barn then returned to her, “…everything.”
She couldn’t deny him that much. “Okay, Cade. I’ll let you know what happens.”
“Do you know if you’ll be able to stay yet?”
She had hoped he wouldn’t ask that question. “No, not yet,” she lied.
“But you’ll let me know, right?”
She nodded, but made no promises.
He stared at his hands that had a white-knuckled grip around the steering wheel. Suddenly, he turned back to her. “Addie, I—”
She held up a hand and shook her head again. “Don’t. Don’t say anymore. You don’t owe me anything. I’ll be fine, and I hope your homecoming is everything you want it to be. You deserve it, Cade. I know how much you’ve missed your ranch and your brother. Now, you have both. You’re finally going home.”
His sad smile had returned, but his hands hadn’t ceased their stranglehold on the steering wheel, almost as if to keep him from reaching out to her.
“All right, Addie,” he had said as the truck began to roll backward. “Thank you for helping me. Take care of yourself.”
More tears coursed down the side of her face, dropping on the quilt beneath her head. Watching him drive away had been the hardest thing she’d ever done—harder than attending her dead fiancé’s funeral had been. She had waited until Cade’s truck was out of sight before she went back inside. The tears had started before she made it to the front steps. Once inside, she’d fallen against the door and slid to the floor, sobbing and so distraught that she couldn’t move. She’d lain there for a long time, her tears making little puddles on the entry floor.
She’d finally dragged herself to her feet, gone to her room, and into the master bath to splash water on her face and cool down. Now, she lay on her bed, her arms wrapped protectively around her middle with more hot tears leaking from her eyes.
“I can’t do this,” she said to the empty room. But she had no choice. He didn’t make her any promises, no profession of love or anything else. He’d been honest, which is more than she could say for herself.
“Whatever we do, it doesn’t have to mean forever…” That’s what she had told him the night of the bonfire at Helga and Dan’s place. But even then, it had been a lie. Drawn to him from the moment she saw him, she had wanted so much more. Maybe that first twinge had been lust, but as she’d spent time with him and had gotten to know him, it had blossomed into something sweeter and stronger than anything she’d ever known.
But she’d gotten too close, and the heat of that flame had scorched her in the end. Just as she had known it would.
Reaching out, she grabbed the pillow he hadn’t used since their argument outside her burning barn and held it over her face. His scent had grown so faint she could barely detect it anymore. Which, of course, made her cry a little harder. She screamed into the pillow, releasing the heavy ache in her chest with the power of her voice. It did little good to ease her suffering, but some of the tension lessened a bit.
That wouldn’t last for long.
She threw the pillow aside. Part of her wanted to run to the second guest room where Cade had spent his last few nights, drape herself in his scent, close her eyes, and pretend she was once again wrapped in his arms. But that was next to useless.
“Get yourself together, girl,” she said, giving herself a pep talk. “You can do this. You’ve survived worse than a man walking away.”
Cade wasn’t just any man, though. He was—
A loud knock at the front door startled her out of her misery. She lifted her head from the mattress. Who could that be?
Her first thought was that Cade had come back and a little thrill of joy flashed through her. She got to her feet and hurried out to the front room. She peeked through the front window and saw a familiar truck in the drive, but it wasn’t Cade’s. She looked toward the front steps and saw JR, her ex-farmhand and Ted Ballinger’s best buddy.
“What the hell is JR doing here?” she muttered. If he was around, it was a sure bet Ted wasn’t far away. How convenient that they should arrive after Cade and Cord left for home.
She debated about answering, but her truck was outside and there was still too much snow on the ground for anyone to think she’d gone for a walk or out to the fields. Besides, it would be better to find out what he wanted and quickly send him on his way, than to wait and wonder until he returned, which she knew he would.
Wiping her sore eyes with the sleeve of her shirt, she crossed to the door. She quickly checked to make sure all her buttons were buttoned and straightened the collar before reaching for the doorknob.
“Hello, JR,” she said as cheerily as she could, opening the door wide and not so secretly looking for Ted. “What can I do for you?”
In a flash, his hand fisted in her shirt and he jerked her forward. A loud rip sounded as the cloth
