I have to decide what to do. I have to tell Ryan.
Soon.
16
The three long tables at Cristina and Jason’s rehearsal dinner are half-filled with guests as Ryan and I enter the private wine cellar at Del Frisco’s restaurant. The Edison bulbs dangling overhead cast an orange glow over the space, complementing the hundreds of wine bottles that are pristinely shelved behind the solid glass walls surrounding us. It feels like we’re in an upscale cave stocked with booze and I have to say, I’m into it.
Ryan and I look at each other, our eyebrows going up, mutually saying fancy.
He gives me a quick wink before we walk deeper into the room, which is filled but not crowded with about thirty people. I hear a happy shriek and suddenly Cristina is grabbing me by the shoulders and giving me a fierce hug.
“I’m getting married tomorrow!” she almost sings.
“Yes, you are,” I say, stepping back and handing her the garment bag with her veil. “And you’re going to need this. I swear I only wore it around my apartment for a few hours and then one time to the gyno, super fast.”
“Totally understandable. Jason, come here,” she calls across the room before turning back around. “Seriously, thank you so much for picking this up. I almost lost my mind.”
Jason appears beside Cristina. I give him a beaming smile and am confused when he looks at Ryan and me with jumpy, uncomfortable eyes.
“Hey,” he says, sounding like he’s talking to a medical professional instead of his two biggest fans.
“Well,” Cristina chimes in, “you two look very sweet standing side by side. I was sure one of you would bury the other before the wedding but I’m glad I was wrong. Don’t they look good together, Jason?”
“Yeah, super great,” he agrees. He then turns to Ryan, still seeming jittery. “Hey, man, can I talk to you?”
Ryan barely says, “Sure,” before Jason pushes him off to the side and follows after him.
Cristina looks away from them and back to me. “I don’t know what’s going on with him. He’s been stressed out about Ryan for days.”
“Really?” I ask, looking over her shoulder.
“Yeah, but forget about Jason,” she says, pulling my hand and making me concentrate on her. “I’ve been so busy with wedding stuff, but I want to hear every detail about what’s been going on with you and Ryan. I kid you not, when you guys walked in, you looked in love.”
“We did not look in love,” I assert.
“Yes, you did, and I will die on that hill if you try to convince me otherwise. I watched you two coming down the stairs and you were straight-up dirty smiling and trying not to look at each other. If I wasn’t someone who was also in love, I would have thrown food at you in disgust.”
I think about denying it but decide against it. “What kind of food?” I ask instead.
“The kind of food an angry mob would throw. Maybe cabbage.”
“That’s actually really creative. I like the backstory behind your choice.”
“Thank you. Okay, go, tell me everything.” She crosses her arms and steps closer to me, trying to get comfortable.
“There’s not too much to tell. I think we’re together.”
Cristina’s eyes light up. There’s no way she’s not inwardly planning double dates for the rest of our lives and arranging marriages for all of our hypothetical children.
“Remember, this is all very new,” I remind her. “I have no idea how things are going to pan out, so don’t get carried away.”
Cristina rubs her hands together. The don’t-get-carried-away ship is already long-gone and has set sail for the Baltic Sea.
“I won’t, I definitely won’t,” she promises. “This is all just so incredible, though. Never in my wildest dreams did I think my best friend would date my future husband’s best friend. Can you imagine the family vacations we can go on together?”
I start to smile despite my hesitation. Family vacations together would be nice...
No! Stop this!
“Okay, let’s not get ahead of ourselves. No one is getting married here besides you. Who knows how long Ryan will stay interested in me anyways?”
“Why do you have to put yourself down like that?” Cristina demands. “You’re a successful, funny, beautiful woman. Any guy would be lucky to be with you.”
“That’s very nice of you to say but also very unnecessary.”
“Apparently it is necessary. Do you remember when we first met?”
“You mean the best day of our lives?” I tease.
Cristina and I were both waitressing in a pub in Chelsea in grad school. The food was average, but the clientele was almost always drunk, so no one complained.
“I was crying because it was Valentine’s Day and Warren dumped me for my Swedish roommate who claimed to be a ballerina even though she wasn’t even good.”
“I remember,” I say. “That guy was lame, and Astrid never once reacted to any of my Center Stage references. It was highly suspicious.”
“I know, but I was heartbroken and insecure, and you told me that Warren would regret leaving me because I had true grace and I was a thousand times better than my troll of a roommate.”
“Not to veer off topic, but I’m still convinced that your roommate actually was a troll. I did a report on Scandinavian folklore in high school and she checked a lot of boxes.”
“Can you please focus?” Cristina places her hands on my shoulders. “What I’m trying to say is, now it’s my turn to pump you up and tell you that you are the one who has true grace... Plus you don’t even have a troll roommate so there’s no way Ryan will ever fall out of love with you.”
I try to disguise my confusion, but I don’t do a good job.
Cristina shakes her head and rests her hands on her hips. “That inspirational speech made so much more sense in my mind. Just don’t sell
