“Why?”
The word came out of me as a croak.
Her lips twitched, but she didn’t smile. “Why have such loyalty to romance?” she asked.
“I mean . . . it’s a concept.”
Why did my voice sound so defensive?
“Like love?” she countered.
“I have no idea.”
She held two fingers apart from each other. “Romance and love aren’t the same thing. Romance is what paves the way for love. It aligns the situation so love happens.” She brought the fingers together. “When love and romance are paired? I believe anything can happen. Romance is . . . proof that you do love. That you know that person deeply enough you’ll do something to show it. Romance must come first.”
“Romance meaning chocolates and flowers and . . .”
My mind went blank.
She shrugged. “Maybe.”
“What’s your definition of romance?”
Her hands paused over her tiles as I arranged C-U-S-P on the board. She licked her lips and let out a long breath.
“That,” she murmured, “is a very personal question indeed.”
My desire to know her answer unnerved me. I let it ebb away. The very act of withholding the information only made me want it more, but I didn’t think Lizbeth insincere enough to do that on purpose.
We didn’t say another word for a long time, and in the silence, I finally found my breath again.
Lizbeth won.
7 Lizbeth
The day unfurled in a whirl of games, laughter, and reading from the safety of their couch in front of the fire. At noon I called Maverick and told him the sordid details of what had happened, but only after I secured his agreement not to tell Bethany yet. With every word, I felt a little better. More firmly rooted in reality.
For me, the quiet day was almost perfect. Mark paced the attic and popped in and out. JJ inventoried his climbing gear and muttered to himself.
Time with the Bailey brothers hadn’t been what I’d expected. JJ had a restless energy of his own, different from Mark’s. He seemed . . . bored. Uncertain. Mark was exactly like I thought he’d be, but kinder.
In the depths of my heart, I couldn’t believe I’d spent the day with them. My mind couldn’t seem to wrap around it.
It was too distracted by JJ’s sincere smile.
Part of me never wanted to leave. Another part couldn’t wait to go. Real life awaited. The more I lingered here, the closer I felt to JJ.
Sweet baby pineapple, but this whole living-a-romance-plot was not what I’d hoped. The books made this all so romantic. So simple. Instead, I felt stressed out by the fact that I’d almost died and annoyed that I couldn’t stop looking at JJ.
At 9:00 the next morning, my breath puffed out in front of me as JJ led me to the Zombie Mobile. The truck rumbled to life with Mark in the driver’s seat, and the tailpipe belched black smoke. Three feet of snow ringed us on either side of the pathway Mark had cleared. The banks glittered in the bitter-cold sunshine.
JJ wore no coat, just a simple jacket that zipped all the way up. A hat covered his head and pushed his long hair onto his neck. I wanted to run my fingers through it. Although I was eager to prepare Bethany’s house for their return, I wished I could stay and observe more.
What was JJ hiding?
What had really made him look so cornered during our conversation yesterday?
Someone had broken his heart, and I wanted to know how. Likely he thought me a romantic fool for believing in love like I did. He wasn’t the only one. Others had certainly told me as much. I always ignored them easily, but something about the wariness in his gaze wouldn’t leave me.
JJ faced me with a smile. “Thanks for the company, Lizbeth. It’d be great if you could be here every time we were snowed in.”
“Thank you,” I said with a laugh, and cleared my throat. “I mean . . . for everything.”
The first hint of a rueful smile crossed his lips. “Anytime.”
“Listen, I—”
“I’ll see you in town?” he said at the same time.
“Yeah.” I nodded. “Yeah, of course.”
“Did you have something else you were about to say?”
Just don’t stop being my friend? I thought. Never cut your hair? Sweep me off my feet?
“No.” I shook my head and cursed my awkwardness. “Nothing.”
Mark banged a hand on the roof of the Zombie Mobile. “Regulators!” he shouted. “Mount up.”
JJ grinned. “You’ll win bonus points with Mark if you rap the rest of that song on the way into town.”
My lips twitched. “I happen to know it. Come in for free green tea anytime. On the house.”
His half grin broke into a true smile that melted my heart. If he looked at me like that every day, I’d never get anything done. Pinnable would be forgotten. My romance books would burn to ash in my hands. The world would fall apart. I could stare into those warm eyes for the rest of eternity.
So that feeling in the books wasn’t a lie.
My parting words failed halfway out of my mouth, landing in my lap in a garbled heap. His brow lifted in silent question as I stood there, half-gaping at him. A thousand words whipped through my mind, but I couldn’t bring myself to say any of them.
Will I see you again soon?
Do you think I’m crazy because I love romance?
“Bye, JJ.”
My insides turned to mush when he yanked open the ancient truck door. Although I could have stared at his jawline all day, I felt a modicum of relief that I could leave the pressure of being around him. It had been years since I’d crushed on anyone this hard.
An almost-romance was exhausting.
As I turned to go, I hoped for a classic romantic ending to this highly romantic situation. A hand on my wrist, maybe. He’d stop me. Nervously lick his lips, then ask me to stay. Maybe laugh about his brashness and say it’s just not like him to ask that. Or tell me
