But no touch on my wrist followed.
Instead, I climbed into the ancient truck that groaned under even my paltry weight. Out of sheer pride, I refused to look back. He called out a cheery farewell. I thought I saw him wave from the corner of my eye as I managed a blind wave back.
I didn’t want to see him standing there in the winter brilliance, as far from me as any person had ever been.
“Don’t let him scare you off. He’s a total teddy bear.”
Mark made that announcement as he plowed a narrow path down the road. Snow scraped the side with an intense grating sound. I held onto a bar above my head as we bounced along, and thanked the goddess of winter storms that JJ, rather than Mark, had found me.
“Wh-what do you mean?” I called.
“JJ.” Mark glanced at me for a second. “He’s like a freaking acorn. Hard as hell on the outside, but the goodness is really inside.”
Awful metaphor aside, he couldn’t be more wrong.
“JJ is the sweetest guy I’ve ever met. He’s not hard on the outside.”
“Sure. Unless you’re interested in him, like you are. Then he’s a nightmare.”
Mark chuckled when my eyes widened, then he downshifted and shaved off a healthy chunk of snow as we turned a sharp corner. The back wheels slid into a snowbank, and the entire truck shuddered. Although I braced myself for the inevitable crunch of whipping into the bank, it never came. The reliable old monster just kept eating up the snowy road.
“Who said I’m interested?” I managed to choke out.
Mark scoffed. “Right, Lizbeth. As if your entire heart isn’t written on your face. You’ve always crushed on him. You light up like a Christmas tree when he walks into the Frolicking Moose.”
I scowled. He laughed. I folded my arms over my chest, and my cheeks flared with heat. This situation had always been way funnier in the books. Novels never emphasized the pure mortification of being read so easily.
Of course, I could deny it, but what was the point? Mark already knew. And if he’d seen it, JJ might know. That explained his very normal goodbye. Maybe he’d intentionally interrupted me earlier and made it look like an accident.
Friend-zoned.
“Well,” Mark called over the rumble of the truck. “At least you aren’t denying it.”
“No. I’m not going to deny it. JJ is . . . special.”
“You’re in good company. Women flock to him. It’s the most aggravating thing. He’s got those great eyelashes, the sexy hair. Then women talk to him and he’s gentle, cares about animals and people’s emotions, then, bam! Walks away, leaving broken hearts in his wake.”
“Why?” I asked, shivering and pulling my sweater tighter around me. The Zombie Mobile wasn’t any better at producing heat today.
Mark shrugged. “To be fair, he doesn’t do it on purpose.”
“Doesn’t he want a relationship?”
“Nope.”
“Who broke his heart?”
Mark chuckled as he downshifted. The bridge loomed ahead. Flashbacks of two nights ago raced through my mind. I dug my fingers into the seat.
“He broke his own heart. Kind of. JJ used to be a wild romantic. Flowers. True love. Sparkle lights, or whatever that crap is.”
My heart thudded as we rattled over the old bridge, but it had nothing to do with the river frothing below. Sparkle lights? I wanted to say. Are you five? It’s twinkle.
“You’re lying,” I said.
“I swear it.”
“What happened?”
“Not my story to tell. Romance? Dating? That stuff just doesn’t reach him anymore.”
“Then what does?”
“Climbing.”
Mark’s enthusiasm for the topic would be borderline comical if my heart wasn’t the punchline. My nose wrinkled as I comprehended his subtext. Mark was warning me.
“Thanks,” I said.
I startled him by meaning it. He glanced at me twice for only quick flashes, keeping his attention on the road.
“Sure.”
“Think he noticed?” I looked out the window as he pulled onto the canyon road.
“No.” He blew a bubble with his gum. “Your secret is safe with me.”
I groaned. A satisfied grin overtook his face.
Well, what a great plot twist that made.
Didn’t matter, anyway. JJ wasn’t the picket-fence type. He was almost a decade older than me and wanted to branch out to grasp at the unlimited freedom of untethered bachelorhood. Live life on his own terms. At least, that’s how it had sounded.
We fell into silence for the rest of the trip back to the Frolicking Moose.
8 JJ
After Lizbeth left, I shuffled through my gear half-heartedly, my mind far away. A yellow notepad lay next to me. Quiet reigned over the office, but it wasn’t as deeply refreshing as usual. Normally, I yearned for some distance from Mark’s prattle. He was always making some kind of noise, as if he couldn’t stand the quiet.
I pulled a pen out of my hair and scribbled a few notes. Thoughts of Lizbeth and her deep loyalty to romance kept intruding on my thoughts.
Who seriously believed that?
And owned it?
Maybe she just equated safety with romance. I’d bet half my ropes that the moment she had any experience with heartbreak, her mind would change. Anyone with real-world know-how would be far more jaded. Or at least less . . .
Idealistic.
With a growl, I pitched the pen to the floor. It landed on the notepad with a thud. I leaned back, let out a long breath, and rubbed my hands over my eyes. This shouldn’t bother me so much, but it did. The thought of her figuring out the dark side of romance—like I had—set my teeth on edge. I didn’t even know her, not really, but I still didn’t want that for her. She deserved better.
Crimson hair, soft as silk, flashed through my mind.
Why couldn’t I just focus?
Daylight waned outside. My stomach growled, reminding me that I’d forgotten to eat lunch. There were a lot of things I hadn’t done yet. Boredom had a way of doing that. The utter lack of direction in my life used to be
