‘She had a crew cut,’ said one of the boys.
‘Her face was sensible, I thought.’
While all this was going on, the Conservative husbands were expressing amazement at finding Uncle Matthew, whom they knew quite well but who clearly did not know them from Adam.
‘This is Lord Alconleigh, Peggy.’
‘How d’you do? I’m a great friend of Jennifer’s.’
‘For pity’s sake! What on earth do you see in her?’
‘It seems you had a spot of trouble here this afternoon?’ the other M.P. was saying to Alfred.
‘No harm was done; personally I think it will have a good result. Both sides will have to be more conciliatory – both have been to blame. This may clear the air.’
‘Can’t see the point of making bad blood over those islands, myself. Massigli tells me they are submerged most of the time.’
‘There has never been a more pointless quarrel,’ said Alfred, firmly. ‘Now I hope the question will be sent up to The Hague and that we shall hear no more about it.’
When everybody was happily chattering, Alfred murmured to me, ‘Did you say Charlie and Fabrice are here?’
‘Uncle Matthew brought them.’
‘How splendid of the old boy. Where are they now?’
‘Gone to a concert, with Sigi.’
‘Good. That’s very good news. Now we must take serious steps – get them into a lycée if we can –’
Brown reappeared, announcing ‘Madame la Duchesse de Sauveterre and Monsieur le Marquis de Valhubert.’
‘We’ve just heard about your riot,’ said Charles-Edouard, ‘we called to see if you were alive. When the concierge said you were at home we came up. Tante Odile is in Paris for a few days.’
‘How kind you are.’ I was frantic inside because of not knowing what names to put to the loud Conservative voices. To my relief, Alfred did the introducing. When he got to Uncle Matthew, I said, ‘My uncle saw more of the riot than any of us because he arrived when it was at its worst and drove through the thick of it, escorted by policemen –’
‘I call that very brave,’ said an M.P.
‘My dear fellow, they were a perfectly harmless lot – just a pack of children. I didn’t think much of it – if that’s the best they can put on –’
‘Never underestimate a French crowd,’ said the Duchess. ‘I speak with knowledge. Three of my grandmothers perished in the Terror.’
‘Three!’ said Uncle Matthew, much interested. ‘Did you have three grandfathers as well? What happened to them?’
‘We say grandmothers when we mean ancestresses,’ Charles-Edouard explained.
The Duchess said, ‘Oh, various things. One of them was murdered in the Jacquerie, and the best housemaid I ever had was shot dead in the Stavisky riots. So don’t talk to me of a French crowd being harmless.’
Uncle Matthew seemed to be struggling to remember something and came out with, ‘Joan of Arc – didn’t she have a sticky end? I suppose she was a relation of yours?’
‘Certainly, if she was a d’Orléans, as most people think nowadays.’
‘Really?’ said Charles-Edouard, with his inward laugh. ‘Why do they?’
‘Voyons, mon cher! La Pucelle d’Orléans! Did she not sit at the King’s table? That simple fact alone is all the proof I need. For a woman who was not born to sit at the table of a King of France would be a greater miracle than any voices, let me tell you.’
‘My aunt takes no account of historical characters unless they happen to be relations of hers. Luckily they nearly all are. Charles X was a great-grandfather so that arranges the legitimate royal lines of every country except Russia, while her Murat grandmother brings in Napoleon and the Marshals.’
Madame de Sauveterre asked Alfred to show her his library which had been redecorated during the time of Sir Louis Leone. She said she had seen coloured photographs of it in a magazine which Jacques Oudineau had brought down to Boisdormant. ‘He knows I like picture papers so he brings me all the ones he has finished with when he comes to see his father. You wouldn’t believe how extravagant he is – abonné to everything under the sun and you know the price they are nowadays. People are getting much too rich, it can’t be a good thing.’
‘I want to see Jacques Oudineau,’ said Charles-Edouard. ‘I hear he has got a Moreau l’aîné he wouldn’t mind selling –’
Uncle Matthew began telling the Conservatives about Yanky. ‘Teenage Beats,’ I heard him say. ‘You must remember the name, Yanky Fonzy, and ask for his records because he gets money for every one they sell. Of course, I’m not saying he’s Galli-Curci –’
I took Valhubert by the arm. ‘I must have a word with you.’ In a loud voice I added, ‘Come in here, the National Gallery has sent us a large, dull picture and I want you to advise me where to hang it.’ We went into the yellow drawing-room. ‘Have you seen Grace this evening?’
‘Not yet. When we got back from the country my concierge said there had been this riot so I drove straight on here to see what it was all about.’
I told him everything. He shook with laughter, especially when I got to the Club and the Duke. ‘But my dear Fanny, what now? What does Alfred say?’
‘You do realize we must never tell him about the riot not being real. He would look the most awful fool if it got out – I haven’t told Grace by the way –’
‘No, better not. Pity to spoil her fun – an anti-English riot is just her affair – she must be thrilled!’
‘She is naughty! Philip says if we can keep up the fiction there’s some hope of making them all see sense. As for the boys, Alfred doesn’t know the full horror. When these people have gone I shall have to explain about Yanky and the Showbiz. Oh, Charles-Edouard, children!’
‘Don’t worry. They’ll soon be off our hands, in prison.’
‘Here’s Philip, oh good. So what’s up?’
‘It’s wonderful. I’ve been with the press boys ever since I saw you. The best
