“It inspired me to write down my thoughts, so it was probably the best gift I ever received. Sometimes you just have to get the words out into the world. Like talking to the wind, the sea, the sand. Anyway, I hope having it might bring you some inspiration to try that. It couldn’t hurt.”
“Thank you. This is such a thoughtful gift.” She set it aside, her hand resting on top of it as she looked down the beach. “Thank goodness I’ve got those two.” Her eyes seemed lasered in on the children covered in sand, smiling, making memories as if they didn’t have a care in the world. “I can’t figure out how to keep Jack’s death from lingering inside them their whole lives.”
“Be careful, Amanda. Just like my only life purpose wasn’t to be Jarvis’s wife, yours doesn’t stop at being a mother.”
Amanda straightened, a flash of hurt in her eyes.
“It’s a very important role,” Maeve added quickly, “but there’s more to your life. You have to share your gifts, and you’ll do some of that through your children, but we are meant to share them more broadly.”
“Gifts again? I don’t have time for anything but them.” She lifted her chin toward the kids. “I don’t have anything left. No gifts. No energy.”
“Quit looking like I’ve asked you to walk the plank. Seriously, everyone has gifts. We just don’t always see them in ourselves as easily.”
“Well, then it’s a good thing we’ve become friends, because if there’s a gift in here somewhere, you’re going to have to help me find it. It’s likely to be quite a treasure hunt.”
They laughed easily.
“I can do that,” Maeve said. “Challenge accepted.”
Jesse raced from the water up to Amanda. “Mom, we’re starving. Hailey told me to ask if we can please have lunch now.”
“Sure. I bet Maeve is starting to get hungry again too.”
“I am.” Maeve rubbed her tummy, and Jesse mimicked her.
Without another word, he went to get his sister. The two of them ran back, Hailey easily winning the race.
Amanda opened a series of plastic containers.
“Would you look at this spread!” Maeve leaned in taking a closer look.
Hailey’s pigtails bobbed. “We helped make it.”
“You did? What is this?” Maeve pointed to the fruit-and-cheese kabobs.
“Caterpillars!” Jesse sat next to her, so close that he was practically on her lap.
“Ooh. You eat caterpillars?” She scrunched her face. “I don’t know about that. I’m not a bird.”
“Not that kind of caterpillar. It’s really food.” Jesse’s dimples pressed deeper into his cheek when he laughed.
Maeve pretended to be unsure. “Are you positive caterpillars aren’t bird food?”
“Nooo. You’ll like it. I promise.”
Hailey and Jesse started singing the blessing, and Maeve wasn’t sure if she’d ever heard anything sweeter.
Jesse grabbed a caterpillar and bit the grape from the end. “See!”
“I do.” She picked up a skewer and did the same, making overenthusiastic approving sounds. “You’re so right.”
As quickly as they’d become hungry, Hailey and Jesse were full and excited to go play some more.
“How do you keep up?” Maeve couldn’t imagine being surrounded by that much energy all day, every day.
“I don’t. Believe me.” Amanda blew out a short breath. “My financial situation is forcing me to go back to work this fall. I’ll get a little break once in a while then.”
“What will you be doing?”
“It wasn’t the original plan, but I’m going to teach. It’ll allow me to keep the same hours as Hailey while she’s in school. I need to start looking for a day care for Jesse since the school doesn’t offer pre-K.”
“What was the original plan?”
Amanda managed a shrug. “Well, I was going to start selling herbal salt. It’s something I’ve done for a while, as a hobby, but we’d saved money for me to start a business. Nothing fancy. Online. Anyway, I thought I was going to do that and regulations got me all twisted up. It just isn’t feasible right now.” Her words were riddled with disappointment.
“I’m so sorry,” Maeve said. “Well, don’t give up. It’s all about timing. Things have a way of working out at the right time.”
“Good advice. Thanks.” Amanda rocked forward. “Right now I’m focusing on getting used to the idea of being separated from Hailey and Jesse while I work. I’ve never left them with anyone.”
“Never?”
“Not since Jack.” She shrugged. “Well, except for yesterday when you were down with them on the beach.”
“Honey, trust someone. You need the break. They do too. You can’t do it all alone.”
“I can if I have to.”
“But you don’t have to. There’s always someone in the wings who can help.”
Amanda didn’t argue, but she didn’t look convinced either.
Maeve studied her. “Have you ever said you needed help?”
“To who?”
“Doesn’t matter. The wind. The water.” She picked up a handful of sand and let it fall. “The sand.”
“Why?”
“I don’t know. I’d think admitting it would be a start. Try it.”
Amanda’s brows pulled together. “You want me to say it right now?”
“Why not?”
Tentatively, she spoke the words. “I need help.” She felt her forehead wrinkle in protest. “No I don’t. I take it back. My kids are great. Okay, yes, once in a while some help would be nice.”
“You need a break. That’s why families have two parents. It’s not a one-person job. It takes a village and all that. Listen to me acting like I’m the authority, and I’ve never even had children. Even my dog I got when I was an adult and he was already housebroken. I haven’t raised anything.”
“Well, the advice seems sound. It is exhausting.”
“If nothing else, why don’t you at least let me give you…let’s say an hour.” The sudden burst of excitement inside her surprised Maeve. “Let me visit with them to give you time to read or think or nap while you are out here on the beach once in a while. Just a chance to not pay attention at all.”
“A whole hour? That does sound nice.”
“Then we’ll give it a go. I’m not trying to get in your
