“Hi. We’re Matt’s folks. I’m Matthew, and this is my wife, Nikki.” He extended his hand.
“So nice to meet you. I’m Amanda.”
“Did I hear your daughter say she’d be going in the first grade too?” Nikki asked.
“You did. At Whelk’s Elementary.”
“That’s wonderful,” Nikki said. “I’m a teacher there.”
What were the odds? “Well, it’s a small world. I’ll be teaching there this fall too. Fourth graders.”
“Oh, fourth grade is so fun. I’ve got the second graders. This will be great. How old is your youngest?”
“Jesse is four. I’d hoped there’d be a pre-K session at the school, but I guess I’ll need to find a day-care program for him. I’ve been putting it off.”
“I did the same thing. It was so hard to let go of Matt at that age.” She grimaced. “I don’t envy that. I cried for a solid week.”
Amanda wondered who the adjustment would be harder for: Her or Jesse?
“You know, we have an outstanding pre-K and day care right here at the church. Remind me next Sunday and I’ll introduce you to Anna. She can tell you all about it. They are really wonderful. Plus, they do some evening activities for all the youth. It gives us a night off.”
“We do love that.” Matthew playfully bumped Nikki’s shoulder.
Amanda ached for when she’d been part of a couple like that, with their teasing jabs and knowing looks. “Thank you. That would be really helpful.”
“Do y’all live right around here too? We’re over on Wake Forest Drive.”
“Yes.” Amanda recognized the name. “One street over. At the end of Bayberry Drive.”
“Did you happen to buy the bungalow at the dune line?”
“We did.”
“That place has so many possibilities.” Nikki beamed. “That’s great! We’re neighbors. The kids can play.”
“I’m sure I’ll see you over on the beach.” Although she was surprised she hadn’t seen them yet. Not even once. She’d have remembered someone with a child Hailey’s age. Maybe Nikki worked a summer job too. Many teachers did.
Matthew clapped his hands. “Okay, let’s load up. We’ve got things to do.”
Young Matt spun away from Hailey and ran to his dad’s side. “Where are we going?”
“You’ll see.” He turned to Amanda. “Really nice meeting you, Amanda. We’ll see you around, I’m sure.”
“That would be nice.” She stood there and watched them walk away before she loaded up Jesse and helped Hailey get buckled into her booster seat.
Okay. No questions. No lies. That worked out fine. Until next time anyway. She climbed into the car and breathed a sigh of relief as she started the engine. She’d planned to go check out Paws Town Square after church today, but right now she just needed to slide into home. Safe.
The short drive to their house wasn’t even long enough to get her heart rate back down.
Hailey and Jesse unbuckled and were out of the car as soon as she parked. They ran ahead of her to let Denali out in the yard and start a whirling game of chase. As she passed them, she wasn’t entirely sure who was chasing whom, they were all in such a clump, but the giggles made her happy.
She went inside and slipped off her dress. She hung it up, then slid the outfits she hadn’t worn in a long while out from the corner of the closet. She pulled out her favorite blue shirt and shook out the wrinkles before putting it back on the rack. She’d wear it to teach. She’d have to start getting presentable for work, and the summer was moving quickly. They were already six weeks in.
Orientation at the school was only a month away. At least she’d know someone there now, and she had a lead on pre-K for Jesse too.
She changed into shorts and a T-shirt, then picked up the shell from her dresser. She held it to her ear just as Hailey had. The whooshing sound mutated as she changed the distance from her ear, getting louder as she pulled it farther away.
A chill chased down her spine.
She pictured Jack looking into her eyes, saying “I do” on their wedding day there on the beach.
Jack was in her heart. Always. Forever. Their love, as vast as the ocean, was tucked inside her soul for eternity.
The children ran and played in the yard, a mingling of pounding sneakers and squeals. Instead of turning on the radio or television for company, she purposefully let the quiet cloak her. She noticed that her heartbeat squelched the flurry of thoughts that usually assailed her. Concentrating on a deep eight-count breath, then letting it out, she repeated that until she felt more at peace.
She got up and walked into the kitchen, ready to embrace the rest of the day. She filled a stockpot with water and began working on a big batch of spaghetti. She had three burners going: one with the ground beef; another with a garden mixture of tomatoes, celery, and onion; and boiling water that was about ready for the noodles to be dropped in. The sizzling and bubbling water made its own melody.
I’m going to do better. I’ll ask for help. I’m saying it. I need help. “I need help.” Her voice sounded unrecognizable, and that caught her off guard.
“I need help.” Pushing back the guilt and just saying it was somehow freeing. She turned to be sure the kids were still outside and couldn’t overhear. “I need help with the kids. With…things around here.” She lifted her hands as she looked around the kitchen. It was tidy, but there were some things that needed a skilled touch, like the leak around the faucet handle and the wobbly cabinet door next to the sink.
Why was it she hadn’t asked for help all this time? “I’m being strong for you, Jack. For us. For the kids. Being strong doesn’t mean having to do it alone, though, does it? I need help, and
