“You never.”
“I do too. I gave you some of that pie I had, didn’t I?”
“Only because I let you put your hand in my underpants,” I said. His ears turned the color of ham.
“You let him what?” said Linda.
“You heard,” I said.
William kicked the gate again, so hard I thought I heard his toes crunch. Paula smiled and reached for the Smarties.
“No, you’re not having any,” I said. I sat down and opened the tube. William tried to drag Paula away but she squealed and pointed. He picked her up and carried her to the roundabout. Linda sat down next to me.
“Just let me have one. I’m your best friend.”
“Go away. Mam gave them to me just for me. She told me not to share them with anyone else.”
“Liar. She never told you that. Mammies never say not to share.”
“Well mine did. They’re only for me.”
“If you don’t let me have one I won’t let you come to my party.”
“Didn’t want to come anyway. Your parties are rubbish.”
She pinched me. I slapped her. She ran off shouting, “You’re not my best friend anymore, Chrissie Banks!” over her shoulder. I didn’t care. Linda’s parties were rubbish, because her mammy said musical statues was too silly and musical bumps was too noisy and musical chairs was too dangerous. The only thing Linda’s mammy really thought was a good idea was coloring-in, and coloring-in wasn’t even a little bit partyish. So it was true that Linda’s parties were rubbish, and it was a good idea for her to know that. And anyway, it would take a lot more than Smarties to stop her being best friends with me.
While the others played on the roundabout I shook a clatter of sweets into my hand. They looked different to the pictures on the tube—smaller, and all the same grayish color. The coating on their outsides was powdery. When I put one in my mouth and pressed it between my teeth it crumbled, and chalky glue spread across my tongue. I thought perhaps Mam had bought them ages ago and forgotten to give them to me, kept them in a drawer for so long the chocolate inside the shells had gone to dust. Linda was watching me from the roundabout with her jaw set hard, so I crunched two more. My belly heaved.
I ate half the Smarties in the tube. It was easier to get them down if I tipped my head to the sky and swallowed them whole, but sometimes they stuck in my throat. I tried to cough quietly, so Linda and William and Richard didn’t notice. (Paula didn’t notice anything because she was too busy eating dandelions.) If they hadn’t been watching I would have thrown the sweets in the bin, but they watched and watched and that meant I had to eat and eat. When I had no more spit left to swallow with I put the tube in my pocket and ran over to the roundabout. Linda turned her back to me, but the others had forgotten they were supposed to be cross. Paula pressed her face into my leg and left a trail of snot on my dress. Richard pushed us round, and I closed my eyes and tried not to think about the squirming in my belly or the bitter taste in my mouth. I decided next time I got sweets I wouldn’t choose Smarties. I wouldn’t choose Smarties ever again.
Richard got tired of pushing the roundabout quite quickly, and no one else wanted to do it instead, so we went to the swing poles. Me and Linda sat on the ground and William and Richard had a hanging-upside-down competition. I wanted to join in, because I was the best at hanging upside down, but when I stood up the world spun in front of my eyes. I pressed my face against one of the poles. The metal was cool on my cheek.
“Are you all right?” asked Linda. “You look funny. Your face is the wrong color.”
“What do you mean?” I wanted to say. It didn’t come out right. I tried again—“What do you mean?”—but my tongue was too big in my mouth. I felt a trickle of dribble go down my chin and a trickle of sweat go down my forehead. I leaned over and a whoosh of sick shot down to the ground. William and Richard let go of the swing pole, and Richard lifted Paula away just before she put her hands in the sick. She probably would have eaten that too.
“Has she got mumps?” William asked.
“No,” said Richard. “She’s not fat round her chin.”
“You’re fat round your chin,” said William, and Richard shoved him. I could hear what they were saying, see what they were doing, but it was like I was listening and watching through three feet of water. I was horribly thirsty, and I tried to ask for a drink, but I just sicked up some more. It covered my clothes, pooled at my feet. I heard feet running away, and I thought perhaps everyone was leaving me because I hadn’t shared my Smarties, and even before I hadn’t shared my Smarties I hadn’t been nice, so no one had really liked me in the first place, but then I felt warm fingers wind around my arm. Linda lifted the hair off the back of my neck and blew on the sweat-wet skin.
“Don’t worry, Chrissie,” she said. “You’ll be okay. You’re just a bit ill. Richard’s gone to get his mammy. You’re still my best friend, really. You can come to my party. We won’t do coloring-in.”
After a while I saw a short pink jelly of a person coming toward us, and behind her a taller, darker streak of a person. The jelly flapped her hands and made high-pitched noises and the streak put one arm under my shoulders and the other under my knees, lifted me up, and held me tight. Someone said, “Eaten anything funny?” and someone
