He nodded and reached for his phone, checking his messages to see if there was one from Claire but there wasn’t. He wondered what she was doing right now. She was an early riser so she’d probably be up and about already, getting dressed and finishing her packing. Maybe she’d have some music on and she’d be singing as she packed, in good spirits and excited about the day ahead. He was so envious of her then, her lack of baggage and total freedom to do this without any guilt or fallout.
While Kate was in the bathroom he crept to the wardrobe and checked his holdall. He’d packed light, just some casual clothes and toiletries. He had the money that he’d taken from their ISA, which he’d put into his personal bank account a few weeks ago, so he’d have plenty of cash to tide him over until he started his new job in a few weeks. He didn’t want to withdraw any money from their joint account or use their credit card because he knew Kate would be checking it like a hawk and he didn’t like the idea of her knowing where he was and what he was spending money on.
The previous Friday had been his leaving party at work. Kate had no idea, of course, she thought he was on a boys’ night out with some of his workmates. There had been a fairly impressive turnout, he’d been at the company for years and everyone wanted to wish him well. Claire had asked him whether she should come but he’d told her not to. No one at work knew about them apart from Dan and Carl and so he’d pretty much have to ignore her all night so that they didn’t arouse any suspicion which would be increasingly difficult the more he had to drink. He supposed it didn’t matter who knew about them anymore but he still felt like he had to keep up appearances, right until the very end and he didn’t want people gossiping. He wanted to be remembered as Pete Garland, the upstanding family man who was leaving because he’d got a better job, not for any other reason.
As the night wore on, people started to leave in dribs and drabs, giving him a hug, shaking his hand, slapping him on the back and wishing him well, until it was only him and Dan left, nursing their pints in a corner of the pub.
‘Are you absolutely sure about this?’ Dan had asked, as he’d known he would.
‘No,’ he admitted. ‘But it’s happening now.’
‘It’s not too late to back out, you know. You could still change your mind.’
‘We’re leaving on Monday. The tickets are booked. It’s done, Dan.’
‘But it doesn’t have to be, if you’re having second thoughts, that’s all I’m saying.’
Poor Dan. He’d been a good friend and he’d tried not to judge him too much but it had been clear all along that he simply couldn’t get on board with what Pete was doing. A few years ago, Pete would probably have felt the same himself. The thought of abandoning his family and running off with another woman would have been appalling to him. But so much had changed since then.
‘I’m having second, third and fourth thoughts,’ he confessed. ‘But deep down I still feel like I’m doing the right thing. You know, we only get one shot at life and I want to spend it happy, not stuck in an unhappy marriage with a woman who doesn’t love me anymore. Given some time, I genuinely think Kate will agree.’
Dan snorted into his pint. ‘All right, Pete, you tell yourself that.’
‘Look, you don’t approve, I get that and I appreciate it. But I want you to know that I’m going to be the best father to my girls that I can be. I love them, Dan, I do.’ He realised that he was more drunk than he’d thought and the booze was making him feel emotional. He had to swallow a few times to stop the tears from coming.
‘I know you do, Pete, I know. What a situation you’ve got yourself into, mate.’
They clinked glasses in a morose cheers and looked down at their drinks. Soon after, they hugged it out and went home. There was nothing left to say.
He’d spent the next two days being the usual weekend dad. He’d come so far, there was no point in changing the plan now. The letter he’d written to Kate was hidden among a pile of work papers, ready to be put into position on Monday morning. On Sunday, Kate took the girls to a party and he had a couple of hours to himself. Switching on his laptop to browse the sporting news he had a sudden urge to delete all of his social media accounts. When news got out that he’d left Kate, he imagined that everyone would be clamouring on to Facebook or Twitter to try and gain some clues as to where he was or what he was doing. Best to delete them all and not give them any ammunition whatsoever, he thought. He quite liked the idea of becoming anonymous, with no digital footprint. One by one he went onto each social media platform and deactivated his accounts. It was strangely cathartic.
On Friday he’d gone out in his lunchbreak and bought a new phone and a pay-as-you-go SIM card. Currently no one had his new number, not even Claire. When the time was right, he would call Kate so that she had a way of contacting him if there were any emergencies and so that he could speak with the girls. He’d decided to leave his old
