A fresh wave of emotions chokes any response I might offer, so I simply nod, which she accepts with understanding and grace. It is twice now someone has offered their expressions of affection for me. It is a strange new world I find myself living in.
"Antonia?" I say after a few moments, when I've collected myself enough to speak.
"Yes?"
"Does love go away?"
Her eyes crinkle at the edges as she considers it. "Why would it?"
I turn my focus back to the floor, studying the shards of glass. "What if you wanted to protect someone, but to do so means to hurt them?"
She is quiet, her presence reassuring, even though I know she couldn’t possibly have the answers I need. Not until she turns to look at me, determination steeling her features as I've never seen.
"If it's real, pure, and true, Santiago, love will never go away."
24 Ivy
Santiago is distant. He’s here, physically, and I understand the weight he is carrying. He eats meals with me. He sleeps in our bed. Or at least he lies beside me until I fall asleep because by the time I wake in the morning, his side of the bed is empty, his pillow cold.
Eva spends her days with a tutor. I spend mine with Antonia in the kitchen baking now and again or swimming when Eva can join me. Santiago finally allowed for that. I still do the exercises Dr. Hendrickson taught me, but I know the balance issues are amplified by anxiety now than anything else.
And I am anxious.
I’ve been able to talk to my dad and Hazel over video calls. Santiago finally relented and gave me a cell phone. He has increased security at Hazel’s house as well. Seeing my nephew is still strange especially never having met him in person. But it’s not just that. It’s that I don’t know this person. I don’t know the first five years of his life and never will.
But Hazel seems all right. Not quite happy, but not unhappy either. I think once this is all said and done, she may come back home. Now that I am married to Santiago, now that we are family, I am sure he can help where IVI is concerned. In the past, I’ve heard of people returning. There’s usually some penance to be done, some payment in skin, but surely Santiago’s status will help her.
I’ve spoken with Colette over the phone, too. I know she’s still shaken up even though she tries to put a good face on it. What happened scared her. Just the thought of it terrifies me. And the fact that Abel was somehow involved makes me feel sick.
It’s the middle of the night when I knock on Santiago’s office door before opening it a little to poke my head inside. I heard him get home about fifteen minutes ago.
“Ivy,” he starts, not expecting me. He’s just taken off his jacket and tossed it over the back of a chair, and is undoing his tie. “Is everything all right?” I see and hear the anxiety that creeps into his voice.
“It’s fine. Everything is fine.”
I close the door behind me and walk toward him as he nods. Rolling his shirtsleeves up, he exposes strong, tattooed forearms that send a shiver through me. When I look up at him, I find him watching me, eyes moving over me to stop on my protruding belly. It’s popped straight out almost like I shoved a small basketball under my shirt.
“You’re so late,” I say.
“I needed to get some things sorted.”
“What things?”
“Work,” he says almost absently.
“This time of night?”
“I always work at night, Ivy. You know that. And now, with all that’s going on, well, I don’t sleep much anyway.”
He wraps one arm around my waist and sets his other hand over the bump before kissing my cheek. He then pulls me in for a hug, and there’s something strange about it. Something distant.
“Why are you still up?” he asks.
“I was worried about you.”
“I can more than take care of myself.”
“Did they find the men who took Colette and Ben?”
“What? Oh, no, not yet. I don’t want you worrying about them. I’m not going to let them hurt you.”
“I know. I just thought maybe you found something out.”
“Not yet, but we’re getting there. Why don’t you go back up to bed? I’ll be there soon.”
“I…I wanted to ask you about something you said.”
He sighs. “It can’t wait?”
“No.”
“All right.”
“You said you talked to Jackson about something, but you never said what. The other day at the pool.”
“Ah.” He walks over to his desk, picks up the bottle of scotch, uncorks it, and pours himself some. He turns back to look at me. “Should we go into the kitchen? Get you something?”
“No, I’m fine. What did you talk to him about?”
He studies me, and I find myself shifting beneath his gaze. He steps closer, and I take a seat on the couch. “I wasn’t going to bring it up, but since you did, I talked to him about his uncle. About his uncle’s involvement in the explosion to be very straightforward.”
Staring up at him, I watch him swallow another sip of his drink before setting it down.
“And I talked to him about Cornelius Holton, who is now in IVI custody. That’s where I was. Interrogating him.”
“He’s in custody?”
Santiago nods.
“Did he…was he behind Colette and Ben’s kidnapping?”
“He didn’t drive the vehicle, but he was involved, yes. He was blackmailing Jackson. But you already know that part.”
I feel myself flush with heat. I’m sure he sees it too.
“Colette told him she’d spoken with you about it. I think she was hoping it would encourage Jackson to come forward on his own before Holton did.”
“I—” I croak but don’t know what to say.
He brushes my hair behind my ear. “It’s all right. I’m not angry with you.”
“I had come to
