The truth was, I wanted to give Rachel the money for the diner. I wanted that burden off of her, so she could work when she wanted to and have flexibility with her hours instead of hustling to try to save enough money. I could afford it easily, but I knew she’d never take money from me. On a Sunday afternoon when she was finishing up her shift at the diner, I popped popcorn so Sadie and I could watch Frozen 2 again. It was a current favorite, and I’d promised to watch the whole thing with her this weekend. When we were just two songs into the movie, I heard a knock at the door and paused it.
“Looks like Rach got off work early,” I said cheerfully. I was glad she’d made it in time to watch the movie with us. It was a rainy, lazy Sunday, and I wanted her here with us, warm and dry and cozy.
Sadie hopped off the couch. “I’ll get it,” she sang out. I smiled after her as she bounded to the door. I went to the kitchen to get a glass of water.
“You want something to drink?” I called out to Rachel.
“Uh, Daddy?” Sadie said, her voice small and uncertain.
Immediately, I stepped out of the kitchen to see what was wrong.
Stunned, I stood stock still for a second. Not Rachel, but Jenna was waiting in the doorway.
“Well, can I come in, Max?” she asked.
“Go turn the movie back on, sweetie,” I said to Sadie, more firmly than I usually spoke to her. She nodded, looked from Jenna to me and back again, and obeyed without a word. I heard the movie come on and I pointed to the door.
“On the porch. Now,” I said, my voice low.
I never understood the expression ‘seeing red’ until that moment. My vision was blotchy, everything tinted like I was viewing it through infrared goggles or something. I saw Jenna, the same sleek, willowy frame, the curtain of glossy highlighted light brown hair. I ushered her out the door and told Sadie I’d be right outside and be right back.
Once we were alone on the porch, I crossed my arms.
“Well?”
“That’s the greeting I get after nearly six years?” she said, choosing to act insulted.
“What the hell are you doing here? You signed away your rights to my child. I made it very clear that you are not to seek her out, or in any way interfere with our lives. When she’s eighteen, if she wants to meet you, she will. Until then, get the hell off my porch and don’t come back.”
“Mr. Tough Guy now? You gave up the designer suits and grew this hipster beard and now you’re some sort of hillbilly hard ass?” she sniffed. “I miss my kid. I gave her up when I was overwhelmed, I was young, I didn’t know what to do.”
“You were twenty-six,” I pointed out.
“I was immature, okay? I regret giving her up. We could’ve co-parented and I would’ve been able to watch her grow and be in her life. She looks just like me. Don’t you think she looks like me?” Jenna said.
Of course, she looked like Jenna. Her expressions, her long skinny legs, the way she held herself. A hundred things about Jenna reminded me of Sadie, not the other way around. I had only been with Jenna a couple of weeks at most. I didn’t know her well at the time and didn’t desire to know her better. So everything about her reminded me of my kid. Mine, not hers. Not anymore.
“You didn’t want her. You don’t get to take back abandonment. Your regrets are your problem, whether they are sincere or not. My daughter is a person, and she doesn’t exist to fulfill your need for attention or whatever it is you think you want right now. You’re not going to disrupt her life. This was agreed upon, and it’s in writing. If you lost your copy, I’ll have my attorneys send one to you if you provide them with your email address.”
“That’s it? That’s all? I came back for my daughter. You’re not going to let me meet her, tell her that I’m her mother? This is so like you. Selfish, never thinking about my feelings. I gave up my child.”
“Yes, you did,” I said evenly. “And what’s done is done. We’re finished here. I might point out that you’re trespassing on private property.”
“Max, please—” she reached out to touch my arm and I wanted to back away. Instead, I stepped forward and loomed over her a little.
“Don’t touch me. Go.”
“Just tell me about our little girl. Please. Let me see pictures and know how she is at least. Can’t you do that?”
“Tell me where you’re staying. I’ll call and set up a time when we can meet somewhere. The two of us.”
“I’m at the White Birch B&B in Overton,” she said.
“Fine. I’ll leave a message at the desk.”
“Thank you, Max. I can’t wait to hear about her, to meet her.”
“Don’t push your luck with me,” I said. “You need to go.”
She brushed at a tear, whether it was real or imaginary I don’t know. Then she got in her rental car and drove off. I sank down on an Adirondack chair and dropped my head in my hands. This was off the rails. Completely insane. I did not need that woman trying to crowbar her way into Sadie’s life. She needed to leave town and not look back. I wasn’t going to threaten her, and I wasn’t going to pay her off. I wanted her out of my life. I’d have to do a little research after
