Caitlin and I burst out of the house and into the courtyard like children released from school at break time, and I felt a rush of joy from finishing a formal afternoon tea with Caitlin’s family with barely a hiccup. It felt like such an accomplishment, not so much because I hadn’t ever sat down to a formal tea with anyone before, but because Mum had been so against the idea. Now I could tell her what a success it had been.
Caitlin was instructed not to wander too far as guests could be arriving anytime between now and late this evening. So, we meandered at no great speed towards the main formal garden. At tea, there had been a few outbursts and odd conversational topics from Caitlin, which I put down to overexcitement and all the attention being on her, but now we were outside, I noticed that overall, Caitlin was in an odd mood. As soon as we began walking, I heard Caitlin mutter something. I still hadn’t got used to her doing this and so instinctually I said, ‘Pardon?’ Caitlin looked at me over her shoulder, then turned and carried on walking ahead of me. And suddenly I realised this wasn’t just something that Caitlin did, this was Caitlin. She was a girl who talked to herself. Both Mum and Dad talked to themselves – Mum especially when she was trying to get ready and had a ‘million and bloody one things to think about’. But I tried not to think about how different it felt when I heard Caitlin talking to herself and how it made my tummy squirm and my spine tingle. I knew I needed to stop asking Caitlin to repeat what she’d said when I heard her mutterings because she only ever looked at me blankly as though she had no idea what I was referring to.
We walked through a small gate that led into the Clemontes’ large formal garden. There was a huge lawn, surrounded by flower borders, and at the end of the garden was an outdoor swimming pool. Caitlin was in front of me, still wearing her flamenco dress that looked as though it might pop off her at any moment, and so arrived at the edge of the pool before me. I could still hear her murmuring to herself. Then she got up on her tiptoes, her body leaning into the pool. I looked anxiously towards her, not knowing if I should get any closer or shout to her.
I went to walk towards the pool, but was stopped suddenly by a pair of tanned boots blocking my way. I recognised them immediately and my heart sped up a little and my mouth went dry. I looked up and saw the weathered face of Hackett. He had a large sun hat on and I thought he looked very funny in it. He was also wearing a white vest, streaked with sweat and stains, and there was a strong stench of body odour coming from him. I felt my body flood with adrenaline, and I looked at Caitlin by the edge of the pool; I didn’t know whether it was Caitlin’s precarious perch close to the water or Hackett’s presence that was heightening all of my senses. I could no longer hear Caitlin’s mutterings over the thud of my own heartbeat.
Hackett stared back at me. I knew I could step to my right and walk around him, and that another adult was within shouting distance and that surely here in the gardens where he worked, I was safe, that he couldn’t harm me, but with Caitlin looking as though she might dive head first into the pool, I felt the urge to holler for help. But my mouth was completely dry, and my tongue felt swollen.
I wanted my dad all of sudden, and I was ready to turn and run in the other direction, back to the outbuilding I had seen him in earlier, when I heard the splash I had been fearing. Hackett swung round, and we both saw a flash of red and black disappearing beneath the water. I knew Caitlin would barely be able to use her arms to swim and the number of petticoat layers under the dress meant she would be weighed down in seconds. I felt my heart begin to race and I looked around for help but Hackett was away and at the pool by the time I had processed all these thoughts. He yanked off one boot, falling off balance as he did. Once the second boot was off, he dived in with a kind of grace I hadn’t expected to see from such a large, sturdy man. I ran to the edge of the pool, and seconds later, Hackett was back at the surface with Caitlin’s arms around his neck, her face buried into it.
We sat on the grass, next to the pool, water dripping from Caitlin’s long dark hair.
‘I don’t understand what just happened. Why would you jump into the pool in that dress?’
Caitlin sat very still and I hoped the heat of the afternoon was warming her. I waited for her response. I could see Hackett coming back towards us; he had been into the main house to grab a towel. I noticed he wasn’t followed by either Ava or Maxwell. For whatever reason, Hackett had chosen not to inform them. Or they had chosen not to come.
Just before Hackett arrived next to us, Caitlin turned to me.
‘I didn’t jump. I was pushed.’
Then she stood up as though nothing had happened and
