‘I, um, I don’t know, it was the first time I’ve drunk any so I have nothing to compare it to.’
‘Well, try,’ Caitlin said, no longer whispering.
‘I, well, lemonade, I suppose.’ I thought about the lemonade I had drunk when I arrived; it had come out of a small bottle, and it tasted so sweet, not like the cheap two-litre bottled stuff Mum would buy from the supermarket.
‘Lemonade? That was a fifteen-year-old vintage champagne. And you thought it tasted like lemonade?’ Caitlin’s voice became a little high-pitched.
‘We all have different tastebuds, Caitlin.’ I felt bubbles of anger and fear in my stomach.
‘Well, I wonder if you have any taste at all,’ Caitlin whispered again, and I wanted to say did she mean to say tastebuds, but before I could get the words out, she had taken a breath in and blown out the candle I was holding.
‘Caitlin, don’t!’ I said, panic gripping my throat. I heard the ridiculousness in my high voice, for what was the use in telling her not to do something, when she had already done it?
But I could feel my heart rate speeding up as I looked around at the walls that seemed to suffocate me. I was a mere pawn in whatever game Caitlin was playing here. I no longer had any power and as much as I wished that I could gain some control back, I knew only too well what was going to happen next and there wasn’t a single thing I could do about it. For if I went to grab the candle from Caitlin, I could risk knocking it out of her hand. I simply took a deep breath and prepared myself for what was about to happen. Caitlin lifted her candle to her lips and whispered, ‘Goodnight,’ followed by a small blow that plunged us into a darkness so black that I thought I must have gone blind.
The terror that ran through me was overbearing, and the only thing I knew to do was to open my mouth and scream.
It felt like hours but could have only been a few minutes until there were people around me, all holding candles and illuminating the hallway once more. I felt as though my heart might have burst out of my chest and as I looked around and caught the faces of Chuck, Ava and Tim. I suddenly felt incredibly stupid and regretful. Now I could see the corridor in the half-light, I could see it would have been easy to navigate back down towards the stairs. But instead, I had cried out like a little girl, for which I felt foolish and embarrassed. However, that didn’t take away the pure terror that still pulsated around my veins.
‘You’re shaking.’ Chuck touched my arm. ‘She’s shaking, do we have a blanket?’
Ava stood up and went into the room where the window was open. I heard her slam the window shut, and she came back with a large throw.
I looked up and down the hallway and noticed that Caitlin was nowhere to be seen.
‘Sasha, are you okay? What happened? Why is your candle out?’ Chuck said.
‘Where is Caitlin?’ Ava dropped the throw at my feet, where Chuck took it and put it around my shoulders. Ava walked to the end of the corridor and knocked on the final door on the right. When there was no answer, she walked back towards me.
‘Do get her back downstairs and off to the cottage.’ Ava stepped over me and headed down the stairs. I wasn’t sure who she was expecting to take me home; Chuck was a child himself and I had barely said two words to Tim all night.
Chuck lifted me up by my arm and Tim carried my candle. Once I was on my feet, Tim went ahead and lit the way and Chuck stayed by my side, talking to me all the while about everything and nothing to try and distract me. As we reached the end of the corridor, just before the last lick of light was swept away down the stairs, I took a swift glance backwards and saw a small face peering out the furthest room on the right at the end of the corridor and even with the mere glimmer of light that was left, I could see that Caitlin was wearing the biggest smile across her face.
The next afternoon, New Year’s Day 1989, I sat and watched The Princes Bride on VHS. I cocooned myself into the lounge, wrapped in a blanket with the door closed, the curtains half drawn, and the log fire burning. I had tried to forget about the incident on the second floor, and I knew it was unhealthy to keep replaying it, but my mind would not rid itself of the horror. I had been genuinely terrified when Caitlin blew out her candle and left me in an alien environment in the pitch black. But several other things were bothering me this morning. One, the way I had embarrassed myself in front of Chuck. It had only occurred to me when the mortification kept playing over and over in my head that maybe I saw Chuck as something more than a friend. Two, that Caitlin could hate me enough to do something like that. I was trying so hard to fit in with her and her family, and yet after what happened, I was wrestling with the possibility that, in fact, Caitlin did not really like me. And if that were true, then our friendship would be over. But I didn’t want it to end. Ever.
A stream of light spilled into the room, and I looked up from my film to see Mum standing in the doorway. She had been over at the house all morning helping Beverly clear up after the party. In the end, it had been Beverly who walked me back to the cottage, and after I had left, the adults carried on until the early hours. The downstairs
