I often wondered what it felt like to Caitlin to know that she was the next owner of such a huge amount of land and wealth. Did she see it in the same way as I did? Did she feel the weight of that wealth the way I felt it for her?
As usual, the smells hit me as I walk into the hallway behind Caitlin. Judith came out of the kitchen to greet Natalie and the twins, tweaking their cheeks and trying to tickle them under their chins. I watched as they squirmed their little bodies away from her chunky hands, as though it was an alien experience to them despite the fact she did it every time.
Then Judith, undeterred, moved on to Caitlin with hugs and kisses, and again I tried not to notice how Caitlin bristled as Judith wrapped her up in her arms.
‘You kids are in for a treat this week – so much chocolate I don’t know what to do with it all. Of course, it’s mainly for the little ones, isn’t it?’ she said and waited for Caitlin’s face to turn to a pout, which it did right on cue. ‘And for you, my darlin’,’ Judith said and tweaked Caitlin’s cheek just before she could pull herself from the grip.
Chuck stepped forward and put a strong arm around Judith’s broad shoulders. ‘Well, what an absolutely gorgeous day it is. The weather forecast for this week is glorious – have you seen it, Judith? Do try and get out and get some sun on those cheeks, don’t stay cooped up in here making such delicious fancies all week, will you?’
Judith and Chuck carried on their light conversation and I looked on with wonder at how easily Chuck, a young man at just fifteen, could stand and make conversation with a woman four times his age as though he were an adult himself and had lived a life so full. It all came to him so easily, and yet again I was thrust into a place where I felt envious of the people who came to stay here, where their lives seemed so relatively simple that they only had to worry about making small talk, all the while making it look so easy.
I suddenly felt the weight of Caitlin’s stare as she moved closer to me.
‘What are you doing, just standing there gawping?’
But because I was not as socialised or educated as Chuck or Caitlin, I was unable to put into words what it was I was feeling, and why I felt compelled to look. Besides, I would have been far too embarrassed for Chuck to hear me say that I was admiring him from afar.
‘Come on, let’s get out of here – it’s so stuffy, I’m getting a headache,’ Caitlin said so loudly and dramatically that Chuck and Judith stopped their conversation to look at her.
‘Oh no, deary, do you need some aspirin?’ Judith said.
‘There’s some in the bathroom upstairs I think.’ Maxwell’s voice floated through into the kitchen. I followed Caitlin out into the hallway where Maxwell was sorting through a pile of mail.
‘Papa!’ Caitlin pushed herself against his arm, and Maxwell patted her head like a dog.
‘Looking for aspirin, my dear girl?’ Maxwell kept his eyes on the mail in his hand.
‘Will you get it for me, Papa?’ Caitlin said in a voice that could have been mistaken for a five-year-old’s.
‘Sorry, darling, I have to get back to my study. Judith will get it for you.’ And he gave her a quick pat on the head and walked off down the hallway. I watched Caitlin’s face turn to a scowl.
Judith appeared behind Caitlin with a box of paracetamol. ‘Here you go, poppet. This was all I could find,’ Judith said.
‘No. I don’t need it. A walk will make it better,’ Caitlin said absently as she watched her father heading back down the hallway to his office. She stayed staring down that hallway even once his door had been firmly shut. Judith came up behind her and placed one hand gently on her shoulder. Caitlin shrugged herself away, grabbed my hand fiercely and dragged me out of the back door.
We walked across the wildflower meadow, which was just beginning to come back into itself again. I had missed it when it was mowed down in the autumn, but it grew back again rapidly, and now I could see a few flowers beginning to emerge on the tops of some of the stalks. I ran my fingers along them and listened to the quietness of where I was, a silence so overwhelming I was sure I felt it in my bones.
‘Oh, do come on, Sasha,’ Caitlin called, dragging me out of my meditative state.
‘What’s the rush? We’re only going to the woods—’ I almost bumped into Caitlin where she had stopped right in front of me. I could see the freckles on the bridge of her nose and smell a sourness on her breath, she was so close.
‘Well, if it’s so boring, why don’t you go back to your little cottage and help your mother do something even more boring!’
She turned on her heel and stormed off through the rest of the wildflower meadow, sending butterflies fluttering off as she did. We had always been told to walk carefully and quietly through the meadow, as it was home to so many insects. But right now, Caitlin had no care. And I thought I knew why.
I had watched her whole demeanour change when Maxwell said he couldn’t fetch her some aspirin. I thought about my dad and how giving he was with his time, not just with me and Mum and Hunter, but also with the whole of the Clemonte family. Nothing was too much trouble for him. I felt sad for Caitlin, because it wasn’t fair on her that her father was
