Ava climbs out of bed, still in her nightdress. She can hear the whoops from the other grandchildren: a set of twin boys from Troy, and three girls from Abel. Just the one child from Caitlin. She had never wanted to be a mother – probably out of fear of having twins. Lauren was an accident – too many nights drinking and a forgotten pill, no doubt. But a happy accident as far as Ava was concerned. Lauren spent her summers at Saxby. She was the special one, the child that she had never known when she had been a mother to Caitlin.
Ava hadn’t seen Caitlin in many years. It was Chuck who would drive Lauren up from London and stay with Ava, chatting long into the night, before leaving Lauren to enjoy a long summer with her grandmother. Saxby now belonged to Ava, but her boys were in the will and ready to take it on when she passed.
Caitlin knew her mother would take care of the place and hand it down to the boys in a good condition. It was the closest she would ever get to a reconciliation. How could she explain after all these years that her hands had been tied? That she had been weak, mentally sick with post-natal depression, something no one recognised back then. Not even Ava had been able to work out what was wrong with herself. It was years later when Ava felt the guilt creeping in. No mother, no matter how sick, should let their own child be taken away from them. Ava tried to find solace in the fact that she had an abundance of love for Lauren. It was the surplus love she had been storing away since the day Gabi left and she was left with only one child, a child she had never known how to love without the twin sister she had arrived into the world with.
Ava slips into a yellow cotton summer dress, puts on a straw hat and pads downstairs to the drawing room. She can hear the children still playing in the formal garden – the renovated pool is a firm favourite with them all. She takes a match from the jar next to the fireplace and strikes it hard on the bricks around the edge. She holds the letter in front of her and sets it alight. The flames eat it up greedily, turning the hateful words from a heartless mother to ashes. She drops the last edge of the letter into the hearth and watches it disintegrate to nothing.
She hears the cries and laughter of the children and goes towards the patio door where she is greeted by the warm afternoon air. She picks up her gardening trug and her camera and heads out into the garden to join her family.
Acknowledgments
Well, who would have thought I would be writing another book during a lockdown! Whilst I have become adept at juggling the demands of the children and lockdown life, I am really looking forward to getting out and seeing people in the wild again and banking some observations for my next book.
First, thank you, Amanda Ridout, for your wonderful motivational emails throughout the end of 2020 into 2021. Thank you to you and all the Boldwood team for all their hard work – you really make us authors so proud to be published with you. Thank you, Nia Beynon, for the first few read-throughs of The Bridesmaid and for all your enthusiasm and work on the front cover. Thanks for stepping in when you did, Emily Ruston, and helping me give the characters more life. I am really looking forward to working with you from here on in.
Thank you, Rebecca Millar, for all your hard work on this book and The House Mate.
Big huge thanks to all the bloggers and in particular to Ali Edwards, aka The Sunday Feeling, for all the readalongs and shout outs on your stories. They are always such a joy to watch and you are a lovely human.
Thanks to my mum for the use of Taylor HQ when I needed to get away from the madness and for all the yummy food.
To all my sisters from other misters who I couldn’t have survived without and who have been rocks this last year. Frankie and Hannah, you are spectacular women. Mrs Nesbitt, I hope you are happy where you are. I look forward to the day we meet again.
Chris, I love you and the kids. Thanks for letting me lock myself away from you all to write.
Book Club Questions
Can you identify where Sasha displays signs of co-dependency throughout the novel?
Looking back over the novel, can you see where Sasha might have mistaken Ava’s behaviour as threatening? Do you think Ava liked Sasha?
How did Caitlin’s behaviour change towards Sasha each time her parents hadn’t given her the attention she craved?
Do you think Sasha and Chuck could ever have been a couple?
Do you think society puts pressures on women to make them feel they need to make big achievements before they settle down and have a family?
If Caitlin and Gabi had been born in 2021, do you think Ava might had received the post-natal care she needed?
Did Sasha make the right decision to pass on the Clemonte heirloom to Gabi and her family?
More from Nina Manning
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