My brows twitch and I lift my gaze to his. “You’re bisexual?”
I realize how dumb the question sounds the second it’s out. Maddox laughs. “Sweetness, didn’t you hear anything I just told you? I was in love with a man for my last five years in the Navy. Before that, I was in love with you. The two things aren’t mutually exclusive for me. Now things are a bit more fucked up, but my eyes are wide open. I just need to make sure yours are too.”
I rub my thumb over his tattoo, and he covers my hand with his other one, squeezing.
“I didn’t have anyone when Zag died, Celeste. Not for the worst of it. No one who understood what I was going through. No one I could talk to with any level of truth, without feeling like I had to hide the part of me that loved Zag. I’m not telling you this because I want your sympathy though. I’ve known Leo for a year now. I love him, and I’d be there for him if I thought he’d accept me, but it’s too late for that. You’re the only one who can see him through this.”
My heart thuds hard, and I glance over my shoulder toward the bedroom, where Leo lies unconscious. Maddox touches my cheek and I turn back to him, holding my breath as he slides his fingers to the back of my head and caresses my nape.
“He has no one else,” he whispers, his gaze intent on me. “And he loves you. When he wakes up, he’s going to be a wreck. It can’t be me he wakes up beside—not after how we left things.”
“How—how did you leave things?” I ask. He’s leaving out a few details, and I’d prefer to grill him more rather than acknowledge what he’s just divulged about Leo’s feelings.
He groans. “Like an idiot, I told him I was bi, expecting . . . I don’t know. That he’d just shrug it off. We haven’t spoken since.”
I stare down at our clasped hands and shake my head. “Papá’s too dangerous. Leo’s better off if I don’t get that close.”
“He saved your life. If that doesn’t earn the man a pass from your dad, I don’t know what does. Besides, we both know he can take Gustavo in a fight with no issue. It’ll take a lot more than that bastard to take him down if your dad has a problem with you two.”
I wince. “It won’t be Gustavo. Amador shot him. I’m pretty sure he’s dead.”
He falls back into his chair. “Gustavo’s dead? Fuck.” He swipes a hand over his face, his brows furrowed. “Shit. I need to go. But I mean it. Take care of him. Don’t let him be alone, all right?”
“You need to sleep!” I grab his hand again and stand. He has a king-size bed. There’s room for both of us next to Leo. “Leo can wake up next to two people who love him, not just one.”
Maddox stands and pulls me into his arms. His voice is gruff, tinged with sadness that breaks my heart to hear. “It can’t be me, Celeste. Not if I want you both in my life. I know how this works. If I push, he’ll disappear, and that’s the last thing I want. Help me be a friend to him.” He holds me at arm’s length and cups my cheek. “This is the only way I can show him how much he matters to me.”
That’s when I realize what he’s doing, and I struggle to blink back the tears. “You can’t just give me to him, Maddox. It doesn’t work that way. There are other factors. My father, for one . . .”
“Will you try?” He squeezes my upper arms. “Please. I know you feel the same way I do about him. I saw how you looked at him that day in my shop. Will you just try?”
I swipe away the errant moisture from my eyelids and nod, unable to speak. But my acquiescence breaks down a wall inside me, leaving me with the calm certainty that this is the right thing to do, and that nothing my father says now will keep me from following through. It’s as if all I needed was Maddox’s permission to admit something to myself that he’s been sure of for a long time. Knowing he feels the same way—that he loves Leo too—just makes it easier.
Maddox lets out a breath. “Thank you.”
I shake my head and lean up on my toes, pressing my lips to his. I need one last taste before I turn away from him for good. His lips capture mine as if he, too, knows this will be the last, and I sink into him with a whimper. I wish he’d made love to me in the shower, or even two weeks ago down in his mother’s studio. But it’s too late for that. I know he’s right, that Leo needs this. He’ll be lost without his brother by his side, so he’ll need someone to fill that void.
After several seconds drawing out the kiss, Maddox is the first to break away. He presses his forehead to mine, breathing hard. “I have to go find J.J. Get some sleep. Call me if you need anything. Anytime, all right? I mean that.”
“I know,” I say, and it takes all my effort to turn away from him, but when I walk toward the bedroom where Leo sleeps, my steps are light, and for the first time in my life, I feel truly free to love.
16
Leo
A fiery burn like a hot poker spears my shoulder, jolting me out of the horrific dream I’m having. In the dream, my brother’s dying and Celeste is
