During a commercial, I asked him what all the texts were about. He said they were about “nothing,” but I knew that wasn’t quite true.
Then the show came back on and I got up to go to the bathroom, but when I got back to the living room, he had vanished. I heard a noise from the front hall and went out to find him putting on his shoes.
“Where are you going?”
“Out,” he said.
“Out where?”
“To see a friend.”
“Why?
“Why what?”
“Why are you going out? Did something happen?”
“No, nothing in particular.”
“Stop fucking around and tell me what’s going on!” I told him.
“Stop making a scene. Just let it go.”
“I won’t,” I said. “I’m worried. If you won’t tell me where you’re going, I’ll follow you.”
“There’s nothing to be worried about.”
“It’s a little late to be saying that now. You can’t tell me it’s nothing.”
“That’s exactly what I’m telling you.”
“Okay, then you won’t mind if I come along. In fact, I’m not even asking, I’m just coming.”
“No, you should stay here.”
“Then you’ve got to tell me what’s going on.”
“Okay, okay. The truth is, my friends are in a bit of a jam.”
“What kind of a jam?”
“Those guys who called before were way crazy. Something really weird has happened.”
“ ‘Guys’? How many friends are we talking about?”
“Well, more than one.”
“And they’re all friends of yours?”
“Not all of them.”
“And what was this weird thing that happened? What did you mean about ‘taking responsibility’? Responsibility for what?”
“You don’t miss a thing, do you? You know that Voice of Heaven blog?”
“Who doesn’t?”
“Do you follow it?”
“Sometimes.”
“Well, you shouldn’t. But anyway, there’s been a thread there about catching the Round-and-Round Devil.”
“I know, I’ve seen it.”
“Then you know about the guys who are beating up middle school kids thinking they’ll catch the monster that way?”
“I’ve heard about it. But what? Are those guys your friends?”
“No, no. We’ve been trying to stop them.”
“What? What are you talking about?”
“There are sort of two teams in Chofu right now: the guys who are ‘middling,’ beating up middle school kids, and some other guys who have gone to war with them to stop the beatings. My friends are in the second group. But the first group has been writing about Mr. Yoshiba’s suicide on Voice of Heaven, stirring up trouble, and now they’re out beating up kids all over town. So my friends have gone out to try to stop them, and the whole thing is getting out of hand.”
Unbelievably dumb.
“Don’t tell me you’re going out to join them.”
“No, I’m just going to try to stop them.”
“You’ll get sucked in.”
“Don’t worry, I won’t let that happen.”
“Like shit you won’t. If you go out now, you’ll have to pick sides.”
“I won’t. I won’t get into the fight. But it’s none of your business anyway. I won’t be gone long. You just stay here.”
“No, you need to stay here too. You can’t go.”
“Don’t worry. I’m just going to get my guys to calm down, get them off the streets. I’ll be right back.”
“Okay, then I’m going with you.”
“No you aren’t.”
“Yes, I am,” I said, taking a step toward the door. But at that moment he bent down, picked up my shoes, and tossed them over my head into the living room. “Shit!” I said, turning around.
“I told you to stay here! I’ll be back soon. But in the meantime I don’t want you going out. It’s not safe.”
With that, he opened the door and ran out. By the time I got back to the hall with my shoes, he had disappeared out the door.
Idiot. Just like the other one standing here holding her shoes.
8
Some of the assholes who posted anonymously on Voice of Heaven had usernames like “God” and “Angel” and “The Holy Ghost.” But now “God” and “Angel” and “The Holy Ghost” and all the others had gotten together in Chofu and were anonymously beating up middle school kids. They’d been talking for a while now about the “coming Armageddon.” Was this what they meant? I turned on the computer and connected to the Internet, and as soon as I arrived at V of H I found a thread called “Armageddon in Chofu, Fall 2003,” with live posts from both sides being added while I watched:
<Bagged three middlers. Kids these days have too much pocket money, so relieved them of 20K.>
<Fight these fools! Middle school kids, strike back at the oppressors!>
<In your dreams, dumbfuck middlers. The Seven Angels are coming!>
<Don’t take their money! The shit hits the fan if we get their parents after us.>
<Bit late to worry about that now.>
<Now is the hour of curses and plagues! Our friend has died, but know this, you evildoers, a terrible death is stalking you.>
<My mom was beaten up near Parco. She has nothing to do with any of this. You people are not human!
<You’re right about that! We’re GODS!>
<Angels!>
<Immoral seraphim!>
<You’re fucking pubic hair!>
<I’ll take some of that pubic hair action! Yum, yum! Sticks in your teeth!>
<Fucking otaku scum! Eat pubic hair and die!>
<Shit! They were making a break for it, but I got them. They’re at my place now. I got their skirts up and they’re not wearing panties. Looks like somebody already got to them. Why should I want to keep this tainted stuff around?>
<We’re just hunting them, not breeding.>
<Why not? Breed on, my man!>
<I thought this was a joke, but there’s a war going on in front of the Cultural Center. The God of the web walks among us! This truly is the Voice of Heaven. A buddy of mine waded into the battle and got the shit kicked out of him. Better to
