But now that you mention it, men really are—
What? What the fuck? Who said that? Someone said something right behind me.
Sounded like a woman saying “Yoji” or something. But there’s nobody back there. What the—I must be hearing things. Shit! Don’t think I ever—
Whoa, not again! What the fuck’s going on? That time I’m sure no one was anywhere close. Who is that?
Shit! Must be some sort of auditory hallucination. This is totally fucked! The Round-and-Round Devil does not have auditory hallucinations!
Maybe it’s a ghost? But I haven’t killed any women, just those three little kids—and I suppose you could count Yoshiba, but he did it for me himself. So why should a woman be haunting me? Shit, have I got a split personality or something? A woman hiding in my brain? I know I play around with that shit
“Who is that? Who’s ‘Yoji’?”
I’m Hideo.
Oops, now some guy’s looking over this way. That guy standing next to Mrs. Yoshiba. Who is that? Probably a nephew or something. Or some young guy she’s banging already. Doesn’t matter—but he sure is staring this way. At me.
Shit! Now he’s coming over. What do you want, asshole? Keep away or I’ll kill you too. Don’t come over here. Don’t even think about it. Shit, he’s really coming.
«Can I help you with something?»
“Yaaaa!”
«Are you okay? Is something wrong?»
“But who the hell is ‘Yoji’?!”
«Please keep your voice down! I’m Yoji Kaneda. Are you feeling sick? Why don’t you sit down over here?»
“What? Oh, okay.”
So this is Yoji.
What?! Do I know this guy?
“Do I know you?”
«I’m not sure. Could you tell me your name?»
Tell him my name?
“No.”
This is getting spooky. Time to split.
What?! Now there’s another weird guy coming over. Some sort of nerd.
«Wait, please.»
“What do you want?”
Creepy guy! Why is he looking at me like that? Is he gay or something? Wants to suck me off? Or me to suck him?
«Aha ha ha ha ha! What are you doing here?»
What’s he laughing at? What a creep! I don’t get it. Does he know who I am? Who is he? Shaggy-haired fatso!
“Who are you?”
«Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t introduce myself. My name is Tansetsu Sakurazuki.»
Tansetsu Sakurazuki? What kind of name is that? Sounds like a character in a late-night anime or some romance novel.
What do you mean you remember? I’ve never met the guy.
«So you’re here, are you? I thought you’d run off somewhere. Yoji and I were terribly worried. But we’re glad we found you. And I must apologize for that strange voice I assume you’re hearing inside your head.»
Fucking right I’m hearing it! What the fuck?!
“What’s going on here?”
«I’m not sure you’ll be able to grasp the situation, hearing about it like this out of the blue, but a certain girl we know has gotten lost and somehow her spirit is inside you.»
“Wha??? A girl? What girl? Some sort of ghoul? A ghost?”
«No, she’s not dead yet, so she’s not technically a ghost—I suppose you’d call her a spirit.»
“What the hell is she doing in me?”
«Well, we’re not too sure about that ourselves, but these things happen sometimes. At any rate, we’d like to perform a kind of exorcism now, so if you could follow me, please.»
Follow you where?
They’re all looking this way. Don’t look at me, you assholes! Fuck you! Fuck—
Oh shit! That voice really is coming from inside my head. Some kind of evil spirit—this is fucking scary!
“What do you mean ‘exorcism’?”
«I know it’s a lot to ask, but if you could come with me to the clinic where the young woman is hospitalized, I’m sure we can clear the whole thing up in no time.»
Sounds like a lot of bullshit to me.
Hey, hold on just a minute.
“Are you telling me this girl inside my head is still alive?”
«She most certainly is.»
“So when you’re done with this exorcism, she’ll be a walking, talking normal girl?”
«I expect so.»
Hang on! That’s a whole different ballgame. When did this girl get inside me? Can she finger me as the Round-and-Round Devil? I don’t like the smell of this.
“No…no…I think I’m good just like this.”
«Do you mean you’re not going to give back the young lady’s spirit?»
“Well, if she just popped inside me, she must be okay with that.”
«It’s not a matter of ‘being okay’…»
Does this guy ever shut up?!
“I said I’m good, so fuck off!”
«Please don’t get excited.»
“I’ll show you excited—I’ll bash your head in!”
Then chop you up and throw you in the river!
Huh?
What’s happening? What’s that on my back?
«What should we do? Tie him up and take him to the hospital?»
«That’s a good idea, though it might not be so easy.»
Ah, over there! A cop!
“Officer, officer! Over here!”
«Please! Don’t make such a fuss, especially on a solemn occasion like this.»
«Yes, please be quiet.»
“Let me go!”
«Relax, buddy. You’re not going anywhere.»
“Do you know who you’re dealing with?”
«Okay boys, hang on to him!»
“Get your hands off me!”
Got to get away!
“No! Let me go! Let me go!”
La di da di da di da. Shitbread, di di dum di dum.
Shitty di shit, his di dum gently embrace di dum di dum the shitbread. Di di di dum di dum. Di di li dum. I spy with my little eye a loverly prize buried deep in…shit! He he he he, ho ho ho ho, ha ha ha ha. A man’s got to do what a man’s got to…shit oh shit upon a shooting star…
That building over there should do…
And I’ve still got the four thousand in my pocket. I didn’t give it to the Yoshibas after all. Who would have thought things would turn out like this? Life’s funny that way. But I guess this is all I can expect. I’m free, and I can call my own shots.
The fire escape is down! Up we go!
I must be out of shape—feel all heavy.
La di da di da di dum di
