The fact that Principal O'Doherty did know that someone went in his office and searched through the stuff became clear. He had made long speeches on the loud speaker in the mornings. Basically he was threatening the person or persons who did it and offering a reward for someone to rat out the trouble makers. He made the same speech every day, just getting louder and louder, but never saying what they did or found in his office. He wasn't about to give hints or help us with that information. He was really scaring Rachel, but she never flinched at school, but waited until she got at home.
"Thank you God midterms are over."
I flopped onto a chair by the table that Friday after we finished midterms. Throwing the rest of my books across the room I decided to enjoy the little relaxation time I had.
"Oh, Nick I think I failed most of my midterms."
"You did fine I know it."
Now this was getting annoying; her thinking she failed. I know I should be more patient, but she has been way too stressed out, even for her. Yet, I still loved her and even if that freaked her out. I had to pretend that I didn't have those feelings for her, which just angered me and in the end made Rachel upset. There was no warning.
"Nick, I don't know what's worse. Studying and worrying over the stupid tests. Or, worrying for the stupid test results that the teachers take forever on grading?"
Rachel just grabbed a pillow to hide her face in and fell sideways on the couch. I just smiled and rolled my eyes. Rachel mumbled something.
"What did you say Rach?"
She lifted her head and glared at me.
"I said no one had said anything to us to help. No one has given us any ideas."
"Because, Rachel they don't want to do any of the work. Did you really think that they were going to help you? If people don't have to do something for themselves they won't."
"Well, I thought they would a little."
She got up and went into her room before returning. She was writing in the notebook that I noticed was the one that she was using to help plan. She was staring at the book so hard I thought she was going to burn a hole through it.
Rachel's nerves have been through the roof with so many things. She has been taking on so much with school and everything, but to her it was necessary. I couldn't help either because I didn't believe in stopping the marriages. Rachel was more into having a normal life and to her the marriages weren't normal, but to me it has just worked itself into being normal. It wasn't like I could pretend that I wanted this too and that just irritates her, she'd know I was acting out a lie.
All of a sudden I heard this tapping noise and glanced at Rachel tapping her pen on her notebook. After some time of her doing that it was annoying me.
"Rach, do you have to keep tapping your pen?" I growled through gritted teeth.
"Yes." She got up and went outside with her coat. I waited a few minutes knowing she would come back in because of how cold it is. Five, four, three, two…
"It is too cold. I'll be in my room."
One!
I started to laugh as she shut the door.
She was getting too stressed out and I could tell she knew it. Rachel seemed so worn out because she couldn't think of anything. Everyone thought like Rachel, but they didn't want to help her because they were too lazy. I couldn't bear to help her if it meant losing her. If it came to that what would happen? Would I be able to give her up? Go back to just being friends?
"Oh, come on it shouldn't be that hard thinking up a plan. If the state was able to think of this plan then there has to be a way around it."
Rachel came out of her room and was pacing the small living area. She threw her notebook and pen down on the floor. I thought she was going to pull a cartoon character moment and start jumping on the notebook while screaming at it. Rachel returned to her ranting.
"For every reaction there's another just as equal reaction. Isn't that what the science teachers have been telling us for how long? Ah, this is aggravating! I bet if you supported me more, more students would help."
"Yeah right, Rach." I rolled my eyes at her rage knowing she was just rambling instead of thinking of what she was saying, putting false blame on me.
"I can't take this anymore. I just can't. I don't know why I bothered. I don't even know why this is taking so much out of me."
Rachel was now sitting on the couch. She brought her legs into her chest as she gazed out the window without a smile on her face. I really missed that smile of hers. What I wouldn't do to make that smile return on her face.
23
Rachel
I got up from the couch and walked into the kitchen as Nick turned on the television. As I entered I noticed the knives sitting on the counter drying from when we washed them. The knives sparkling sharp edges screaming for attention from me. Making me come closer and closer to their deadly edges.
I thought back to last year when we read Romeo and Juliet and considered what Juliet went through the times she thought about killing herself. Staring at the knife, I
