I stood there staring at the big knife shining in the little sun that was left of the Friday afternoon. It knew the plan and it wanted It to happen; it really wanted this plan to play out. Making sure that everything went as planned, it drew me closer to it and it didn't want me to chicken out. It must have known the importance of its use. That it would hopefully be helping all of us out of this mess.
I had planned it out to make sure everything went right. I had arranged everything out so well that I knew I had to use it, but not to tell Nick. I told Holly and Bridget that I had a plan, but to keep it quiet. Even then I didn't tell them the plan or they wouldn't have let me go through with it. I knew this should have been the red flag that this was wrong and shouldn't be done, but there was no other way.
I picked up the knife and just held it. The cold plastic handle was in my hands and I looked at myself in the blade. In the blade I saw the pathetic person I was for doing this as a depressed shell of me returned my gaze. I turned the point of the blade to face me. Pointing the knife's blade into the left part of my chest where they taught us the heart is located, I closed my eyes tight as I tried to push the knife into my chest, but my arms wouldn't move.
After a few tries I could feel the point start to sting as a little drop of blood showed on my shirt, the size of a pencil point. I couldn't even kill myself right. Boy, was I pathetic.
"Nick, can you come in here for a second?"
I put the knife down at my side so it was hiding against the back of my thigh. Nick came strolling in, his usual calm way. Way too charming for his own good as it made my heart skip a few beats. My death would also stop my heart from hurting.
He was standing in front of me about a foot and an a half away. Nick's bright, blue eyes stared into my green ones as he pushed his hair he had trimmed aside. A small smile formed on his lips as he looked down at me, making my mind swirl with doubts and many more emotions.
"Nick, I just need you to do something little for me."
This might be the last thing I will ever ask of you. My insides want to cry.
"What now?" He raised an eyebrow as he gazed at me.
I need you to push this knife into my chest to kill me.
"I thought of this plan days ago. There's no way you'll get into trouble as long as you listen to what I have told Holly and Bridget to tell you. I know you'll listen and I told them to be your alibi-"
"What do I need an alibi for?"
I couldn't even look at him, knowing what I was asking of him. I could feel the lump in the back of my throat as tears worked their way to the rims of my eyes.
"Rach, what's wrong?" Fear drenched his words as I could hear the worry start to build up.
"This is the only way that I can think of. It'll make people remember us and help us. It'll help us win the case. Nick it's the only way."
On my other hand I dug one of my nails into a finger so I wouldn't start crying. It was the only thing that would work for us to get free. Even though I wouldn't get to experience the freedom for myself, all of the other students would. This would help Nick's heart as much as mine, but he would see that later on.
"Rach, what's going on?"
I brought out the knife and Nick's eyes grew huge. I knew this was insane and he wouldn't react well to this. Yet, when I looked into his wide blue eyes the pain grew in my chest.
"I can't put it through my own chest. I really did try. Just put your hands on mine on the handle so your fingers prints aren't on the knife," I paused, trying to find the right words if there were any, "Then just push the knife in and if you can't do it either then I'll try again, but this has to happen."
I gently took one of Nick's hands and put it on mine on the handle. I glanced at his larger hands over mine and I loved how his hand felt against my own. Nick's worried eyes met with mine quickly before my gaze fell to the floor. I felt Nick's other hand get on the handle with both of mine. His grip tightened when I brought the knife to my chest and I felt the point touch the same spot. I closed my eyes as I felt the knife move.
I opened my eyes to see Nick taking the knife out of my hands.
"Nick..."
I couldn't form any other words out of my mouth. Instead I just fell into Nick's arms, close to crying my eyes out, but I couldn't do that, I had to be stronger than that. However I could feel the tears just resting on eye lids just for show not to fall. The lump in my chest of guilt and pain seemed to be release as I wanted to be held in Nick's safe embrace. The only safe haven I had these days. The weird part
