"Nick-"
"Save your energy. You should get some sleep."
I used more energy than I should have to lift my arm to stroke Nick's soft cheek. I could see a light tear trail down his cheeks.
"I wanted to be here with you sooner, but they wouldn't let me in." His voice cracked.
Nick was gazing into my eyes with those deep blues appearing glassy. I hated to be putting him through this and I hadn't intended on ever hurting him. I could tell I had and yet staring into his blue eyes I could see something else. He was hiding something.
"Nick, what's wrong?"
"Shh, Rachel, you should just relax. You need to get better. You will get better."
I wish that was all true. "My death will help the marriages get lifted. That way all of you will be free. Nick, I-"
"No you're not going to die. Rachel, you're not going to die. I need you."
I tried to smile, but I was just getting too tired already. I could feel my energy level lower a lot especially in the last few minutes. "Nick, if I don't get through this I need you to promise that you'll live on. To live to the fullest and to forget me. To get over me and meet other girls. To do everything I won't be able to do. Also take my story binder with you, it's under my bed and don't let my parents get a hold of it because they'll probably throw it away, it's an utter mess so it looks like garbage." I wanted to cry while saying all of that, between the pains I was in physically, I was feeling equally as emotionally.
"Rachel, stop talking like this. I never want to hear you speak like this again."
Nick started to sound angry, but I could just tell from his eyes that he was just plain hurt. His eyes were growing watery. However, I just started to cough and wasn't able to stop for a minute or more. My whole body started to ache even worse now. My eyes were wet from the coughing and having to say goodbye to the one person who made my world more complicated yet, better in a very odd way. He was making our goodbye too hard though.
"Nick, please just agree with what I'm saying. I know you don't like it, but just go along with what I'm saying for me." My voice cracked as my throat was dry from all the coughing.
"Fine, Rach."
"I love you, Nick."
"I love you too, Rachel, and I always will. That's why I-"
"Nick, I think I'm going to take a rest now." This was getting too painful. I had to end this on a happy note. Well as happy as it could get.
"Rach, please no!"
"Don't worry I'll wake up, but for now let’s just leave it at that we love each other. Please I'm so tired."
Nick looked so upset, as his heart and mine were at war right now about what was right. He bent over and kissed me lightly on the lips. My slowed heart raced to the point of it being normal, knowing this was the last time those soft sweet lips would ever touch mine again. My eyes started to close as all the pain seemed to disappear. The sense of Nick's hands were gone, as my last breath went out, but no air came back in...
34
Nick
When the nurses had rushed into Rachel's room, I was shoved out of the chaos as her heart monitor blared out the even tone. Doctors raced into her room as an angry nurse dragged me to the waiting room, I kept glancing back to Rachel's room with each step she forced me to make, I took a half step back. Finally the nurse yanked me back to the waiting room where my face was slightly moist and my chest was tight. I saw the nurse's mouth moving, but sound was gone and I collapsed into a chair. Bending over with my elbows on my knees and my face hiding in my hands; I was sick to my stomach. Rachel just had to be alright, I didn't know what I was going to do if she wasn't.
I wasn't sure how long I sat like that, but a gentle gesture on my shoulder caused me to jolt upright to see my mother standing near me. I hadn’t seen her in months and my muscles loosened. Her blue eyes locked onto mine. Her brown hair was tied back in a low ponytail. There seemed to be some more gray strands in her hair than I had remembered. She wore a dress and a sweatshirt as she sat down beside me. My mom stroked some of my hair out of my eyes as a weak smile graced her face.
"Nicholas," the voice I knew growing up was just as tender as I remembered. "I'm so sorry."
Every fiber in my body wanted to be the guy that the world has told me to be and not cry, but tears rested on my eye lids. My mom wrapped her arms around me, embracing me in a hug which I returned. My arms tightened around her and she returned the gesture.
"Let's get you out of here," my mom stroked my back. "Your father's parked outside to bring you home."
I nodded as we stood up she kept an arm around me. My dad's SUV was parked and he sat up front with his eyes forward. I slid into the backseat as my mom took the passenger’s seat.
"Nick," my mom started as I stared out the window watching the hospital growing smaller. "I can't imagine what you're going through, especially since I don't know your relationship with-"
"Rachel," I spoke sharply.
"Rachel, but we love you very much and when we get home you should take it easy," her
