She was picking up her youngest child who was sixteen from the hospital after he just watched his wife die. I had to give her credit.
"Thanks mom," I glanced up at her. "I think I'm just going to lay down when we get home."
She nodded, "Understandable."
When we pulled into the driveway my siblings' cars were gone and we drove into the garage. Without another word being said we made our way into the house. Sluggishly I trudged up the stairs to my room. My door was still open and not a single thing was moved. Posters of bands and the one that Mom hated of a skimpily clothed woman sitting on a sports car were all still hanging. The tops of my dressers were still cluttered with random things, pictures, unsystematic papers, a belt and much more. My bed with the black comforter was still straight on my mattress since my mom made me before I went on the trip. My blinds were still down, creating darkness. Closing the door quietly behind me and not even bothering to unmake the bed I curled up into a ball and shut my eyes hoping to wake up from this nightmare.
"Hey honey, you've been sleeping for almost a whole day," my mom spoke affectionately as she sat next to me on the mattress. "I brought you up a cheese sandwich and I have chocolate chip cookies in the oven. You need to eat something."
I didn't move, I hadn't been fully sleeping, but I didn't think my mom wanted to know that. I felt empty.
"You were close with Rachel weren't you Nick?" my mom asked, her voice was a whisper as she placed the plate down.
"I love her," I replied, my voice was weak and all emotions were gone, leaving me feeling hollow.
"Oh, Nick…"
My mom didn't utter another word, but rather just sat with me for a bit. Eventually I sat up a little and took a bite out of the sandwich and for once food made me nauseated. She left to go cook dinner and told me that I didn't have to go to school for a few days, she said something about me needing my time and I overheard my dad talking about the news was picking up about the situation. My dad got tired of the phone constantly ringing so he unplugged all the phones. He did not have my mother's patience, and I'm sure he didn't want the news in our business more than it already had been.
The next night I still hadn’t left the room and I had shot down the idea of a much needed shower. The comforter was now over me as the darkness surrounded me. My door cracked open a little, letting in a little light. The spot next to me sank slightly. I could smell the cookies. My stomach gurgled wanting those sweets in it, but I didn't have the motivation to eat them.
"Hey, little bro," my sister spoke, shifting the comforter away from my face.
"Hey," my voice came out hoarse.
"So I brought up some cookies, I thought we could have a repeat from when we were little and I would sneak up cookies up for us. Making sure we ate them before the idiots got them," her voice was cheery as she smiled down at me.
Using my hands I pushed myself up and took a cookie off her plate. I took a bite out of it, seriously Mom made the best cookies on Earth. My sister wrapped an arm around me as she pulled me close to her. Together the two of us sat together in the dark eating cookies like we had done when we were little. I was her favorite brother. I didn't know what I would do without her.
News reporters were all over our town and I thought I saw some outside our house when I got up to go to the bathroom. Principal O'Doherty was on trial for life in prison because he poisoned Rachel, and I was told the marriages were in the process of being annulled. Even though it made people nervous about the federal and state fighting over rights, the marriages were gone.
I couldn't take being swallowed up by the darkness anymore. Still in the clothes I wore the other day I ventured out of my room. I rubbed my head, feeling the oil helping my hair stick out in odd directions. The sunlight blinded me as I made my way down the stairs. I heard some shuffling of dishes in the kitchen in addition to several voices that I have heard for sixteen years. There were my brothers sitting at the table, my sister was perched on the counter while my mom was empting the dishwasher. My siblings went to college nearby so they stayed home to help save money and help keep the insanity around. I stood in the doorway as my sister was the first to see me. Her whole face smiled.
"Hey, Nick!"
She was too loud. She's lucky she's my favorite sibling.
"Look we found the missing link." One of my brothers chuckled as the others joined in.
"Oh, shut up you insensitive bastards," my sister barked.
"Nick, honey, I have some lunch still warm if you want some," my mom interrupted, as she started to pull out plates as if I really didn't have to answer. "I was just about to bring this upstairs for you."
"Sure," I replied quietly, taking my usual chair.
My mom placed a plate of French bread pizza in front of me. Taking a long time, I nibbled on the meal, ignoring my brothers.
"How about you go outside today and get a little air?" my mom suggested, stroking my hair. "The weather is surprisingly nice for this time of year."
"Yeah, Nick, you and I can go for a walk," my sister chimed in.
I glimpsed up at her. "Nah, but thanks. I might just go for a walk
