Jonathan stared out at the tree-lined, winding country roads he had travelled as a child and knew that this chapter of his life was over. It was time to move on and let the past go. He had a lot to look forward to. And his mother would welcome his partner if he was ever lucky enough to find one. Where he had thought there might be hurdles, there were none, he thought ruefully when the car picked up speed, leaving Rosslara behind them.
He had to do it. Jonathan knew if he didn’t he’d feel he’d let himself down for the rest of his life. It was bad enough that he felt he’d wimped out with Gus Higgins; he couldn’t let the feeling of being a coward eat away at him a second time in his life.
‘If I faint drag me out,’ he murmured to his friend and colleague, Mary Helen.
‘Why, what are you going to do?’ she asked, perplexed, as he pushed back his chair and stood up.
‘Watch!’ he grimaced. They were in the staff canteen and the sun, shining through the big old-fashioned sash windows, added to the buzz of chat and conviviality of the mid-morning tea break. Jonathan took a deep breath and walked over to the adjoining table where Gerard was holding forth. ‘Mr Hook, I’d like a word.’ His voice was admirably steady. He had thought he would be quaking but a strange calm seemed to have enveloped him.
‘I’m on my tea break. It can wait until we’re back at work,’ his boss said rudely, casting a wary glance at him.
‘Actually, Mr Hook, it won’t,’ Jonathan said firmly, raising his voice an octave as a hush descended on the people at the two tables. ‘Last Thursday when I was on my tea break you spoke to me in very derogatory terms. I told you that if it happened again I would report you to Personnel. Having given the matter, and your vile remarks, some consideration over the weekend, I would now like you to apologize to me here, in the canteen, where you originally made those remarks in the presence of my colleagues and others.’ He stared at the man in front of him, willing himself to remain composed.
‘Now, now, now, there’s no need for that kind of thing. If your feelings were hurt it wasn’t meant,’ bristled Gerard as an audible gasp came from Jonathan’s workmates.
‘I beg to differ. You did mean what you said and you did mean to belittle me. Your apology, please, or I will go to Personnel and the union!’ Jonathan said icily, enjoying the other man’s discomfort.
Gerard blanched. He wanted no truck with the union. ‘Very well then,’ he muttered, almost inaudible. ‘Sorry.’
‘I don’t think my colleagues heard that,’ Jonathan said coldly.
‘Sorry,’ Gerard barked angrily.
‘Apology accepted,’ Jonathan retorted and turned on his heel to walk back to his table. Mary Helen was grinning from ear to ear. Aidan Corrigan gave him the thumbs-up and began to clap. His other colleagues followed suit as, beet red, he sat back down beside them.
‘Well done. I’m proud of ya, Harps.’ Mary Helen patted him on the back.
‘Good on you, Jon,’ said Aidan.
‘Very well said,’ applauded Laura.
‘That will teach him.’ Maria held her mug up in toast.
‘He’s puce,’ giggled Rebecca.
‘Good enough for him,’ snapped Tara.
‘Way to go, mate.’ Matthew gave him a high-five.
Jonathan basked in the glow of their praise. He might not have settled his score with Gus Higgins mano a mano but he’d got a public apology from Gerard Hook. He’d faced down another bully. Whatever his boss might think, Jonathan was more of a man than he’d ever be.
Today was a good day. He’d ring Hilary and tell her what he’d done. She’d be pleased for him. And so would Orla. His next session with Hannah would be interesting too. His counsellor made him think outside the box, that was for sure, he thought ruefully, remembering how Hannah had responded when he’d said that he didn’t think much of a God who would allow such terrible things to happen to his so-called children.
‘God, the Universe, Our Source, or whatever you choose to call the loving energy that created us, has given us the freedom of choice to make our own decisions about how we live our lives. We cannot blame “God” for man’s inhumanity to man. But the immutable laws of the Universe are very clear – and this has nothing to do with religion – every deed or thought we put out comes back to us. Good or bad. Everything is perfectly balanced. As Edwin Markham’s classic quote says, There is a destiny that makes us brothers; no one goes his way alone. All that we send into the lives of others comes back into our own.’
‘Do unto others what you would have them do unto you,’ Jonathan said gloomily, remembering the biblical quote from his catechism.
‘That’s another way of putting it,’ Hannah said crisply.
‘Jonathan, did you ever ask yourself why you are here? What is your purpose? Did you ever think that you chose to incarnate with your parents and your family, for example? A specific soul group that you are part of since the beginning of time? Did you ever think that perhaps it’s not what happens to you that’s important, but the way you deal with it? This abuse has happened to you but you can choose how you let it affect your life. You can choose victimhood or victory. That choice is yours!’ she’d said in her gentle, matter-of-fact way.
Jonathan knew the choice he wanted to make. His life was changing for the better and so was he.
C
HAPTER
T
WELVE
Des Williams punched the air exuberantly before replacing the phone on
