“STOP!” Lilly roared into the small space, the sound reverberating off the walls. She couldn’t handle it. She needed her mind to stop playing the movie in her head. Lilly had to pull it together and quickly. She was no longer only responsible for herself. She had a child to take care of. Lilly had eight more months ahead of her filled with doing everything she could to make sure her baby was as healthy as possible. She also had eight months of praying that nothing weird was going to show up in her lab work or on ultrasounds.
“Oh, God, what if the baby has fur? Or a tail? Of all the men in the world, I had to go and fall in love with a mother-effing werewolf.” She was going to have to stop cursing, too. Even though it would be hilarious to teach her child to say, “bastard daddy,” it wouldn’t be proper.
She flushed the toilet and pulled herself to her feet. When Lilly got a look at herself in the mirror, it only pissed her off all over again. This mess of a woman, smeared mascara, hair lank, pieces of vomit on her shirt… This was what she’d been reduced to because of her own choice to love a man she knew she’d never be able to keep. “Lesson. Learned,” she whispered at the woman in the mirror.
Lilly stripped out of her clothes and climbed into the shower. The water cascaded over her body, and she pictured it rinsing off every touch Dillon had ever placed on her. She imagined the soap scrubbing his scent and fingerprints away. She wanted nothing from him, other than the precious life that fate, or God, or maybe even Dillon’s goddess had given her. If the child had been given to them, then Dillon would have been there to receive the news, but he wasn’t. She’d been to the doctor alone. She’d come home alone to an empty house. Lilly took that as a sign that this child was for her and her alone.
Soon, she was clean and dry, and she set herself to the task of tidying up the mess she’d created. As she cleaned, she made the decision to move from her apartment as soon as possible. There was no way she could stay here. There were too many memories. She needed a new start and a bigger place. A highchair, stroller, crib, and baby swing would take up a lot of space.
Luckily, Lilly had some money saved. Maybe she could get them a small house. She’d figure it out, somehow. She’d taken care of herself before Dillon Jacobs had come along, and she’d take care of herself now that he was gone.
As she lay in bed that night, she gave herself the chance to say goodbye. She remembered the happy times. Lilly even thought of what could have been. How he might have reacted to her when she’d told him she was going to have their child. She thought about how they would have speculated whether their child would have his auburn hair or her dark locks. Lilly gave herself over to a future she desperately wanted but that had slipped away in the blink of an eye. She laid on her back, her hands pressed to her stomach, and closed her eyes as tears rolled down her cheeks, wetting the pillow beneath her head. What could-have-been would be all she’d have, and tonight would be the only night she’d allow herself to have a pity party. She could have walked away from Dillon a year ago. But she made the choice to stay. She couldn’t really be mad at him, not that it would necessarily stop the emotion from creeping up on her. But right now, she wasn’t angry. She was unbelievably sad. Not only for herself, but for her child.
Lilly had no idea what the future held for the life growing inside her. Dillon never mentioned children that were only half-Canis lupus. She didn’t know if something strange was going to happen. Those would have to be worries for tomorrow. Tonight, she’d had enough. Her body demanded sleep.
She rolled over and pressed her face to the pillow. Apparently, when he said he’d removed everything, he hadn’t included changing the sheets. The coward’s smell was all over them. Lilly was too tired to get up and change them, and if she was going to be honest, his scent was comforting to her. “Just for tonight,” she mumbled as she let sleep steal her away from her pain.
Chapter 7
“It’s easy to look back at a mistake and say, ‘That ended up working out for the best.’ But maybe the mistake you made wasn’t a mistake at all. Maybe the mistake was actually the right choice all along, and the precious thing that comes as a result of your decision is the universe confirming you made the right choice.” ~Dillon Jacobs
Present Day
“I’ll let you know if I hear from her, Jacque. You know I wouldn’t keep that from you,” Dillon said into his cell phone. It was the fifth time his daughter had called. He loved that she was reaching out to him but wished it was under different circumstances.
“Okay, thanks, um, dad.”
The line was dead before he could say anything else, like ask if he could come
