He sat up and motioned for her to come to him. Sally walked over and climbed onto the bed, moving until he could wrap an arm around her waist and pull her on top of him. She braced her hands on his shoulders and looked down into his hazel eyes.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I’m not bothered because I can’t use the endearment. I’m bothered that it hurts you when I slip up and let it come out, which means I cause you pain. It kills me and my wolf to cause you any more pain than you’ve already experienced.”
Sally pressed a hand over his heart. “It’s not you who causes me pain,” Sally said. “It’s just a part of life. We experience pain, and because of that it makes the joy that much sweeter.”
Costin ran a finger down her cheek, his touch feather light. “And you can remember the joy, despite all that you have been through?”
“The joy has helped me survive all of that stuff,” she told him. Sally let her mind fill with every joyous moment in her life. She started with her childhood, when Jen and Jacque had become a part of her life. Flooding their bond with the memories, Sally also let him feel the emotions the memories evoked. She showed him how she’d felt the first time she’d laid eyes on him, the confusion and realization that he was going to be someone very important to her. Her last memory was of him holding Titus as he read their boy a story.
Costin’s eyes were glassy with unshed tears as he gazed at her. “You leave me speechless,” he murmured. His hand cupped her cheek, and he pulled her face toward his.
Just before their lips touched, Sally whispered, “I’m still your brown eyes.”
She saw the tears fall as he kissed her. Sally felt the dampness on her own cheeks as she lost herself, not only in her own emotions, but also the emotions of her mate. She knew the months until the challenges began would pass quickly. Even with the time of mourning, the pack would not heal by then, if ever. They would, however, be ready to take on anything that thought to stand against them or the Great Luna.
Costin rolled them over so he covered her body with his own. Her mind cleared of all thoughts as he freed her of the confines of her clothes, which suddenly felt much too constricting.
“Stay here with me,” Costin whispered as he broke the kiss and ran his nose along her jaw, breathing in deeply.
“I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.” Sally sighed as she settled into the care of her mate.
Jen pressed a kiss to Thia’s forehead and laid her daughter down in her crib. Then she wrapped her hands around the top rail of the crib and squeezed. She didn’t understand why she couldn’t seem to get herself together. After she’d gone on her little vengeance killing spree, she’d known a minuscule amount of peace, a tiny amount of retribution for those who’d been lost. But now she was buried beneath a wave of confusion and pain that seemed determined to drag her to the bottom of an ocean of despair.
The former alpha female could feel Decebel pushing into her mind. He was trying to decipher the emotions warring inside her. But how could he when she didn't even know what was going on? Jen hated making him worry. It wasn’t as if he wasn’t hurting just as badly as she was. He’d known Vasile and Alina a heck of a lot longer than she had, but his shoulders were so much bigger than hers, and they seemed to bear the weight of the pain with so much more ease than her own.
“You could let me bear it for you,” Decebel breathed from behind her.
Jen let her head fall forward, her blonde hair creating a curtain around her face, protecting her from his eyes. Why do I feel as if I need to hide from my mate?
“Jennifer,” his voice rumbled, and she heard how close his wolf was to the surface. “Let me help.”
After several minutes of silence, she released her death grip on the crib and turned around. She kept her head lowered as she walked toward him, passing him and walking into the living room. Jen heard Dec close Thia’s door and then felt his presence behind her.
“Talk to me, Jennifer.”
“What do you want me to say?” she asked, her voice sounding as weary as she felt. “I’m lost. I feel like the grief is making me lose my identity. I don’t even recognize myself, at least not my mind.” She threw her hands up in the air and let them fall uselessly by her sides. “It’s not like I expected them to live forever, but I guess I sort of did.” The thought sounded ridiculous when she said it out loud. She’d imagined Vasile and Alina as untouchable. Jen had thought nothing could take them down. But I was horribly wrong. What does that mean for the rest of us?
“It means we treasure every second we have together, no matter how bad,” Decebel answered her unspoken thought.
She lifted her head and finally let her eyes meet his. The amber orbs were glowing.
“I’m scared, Dec.” The words slipped out before she could stop them. Jen did not like admitting fear. She was supposed to be the strong one. She was the one who held her girls up when they were tired and felt like they couldn’t go on. But at that moment, it took everything she had to stay on her feet. What she really wanted to do was collapse on the floor and beat the ground while screaming at the top of her lungs. Maybe that would purge all her pain and frustration.
“It’s okay to let yourself hurt,” Decebel said as he padded toward her. “You
