Jen could sense her wolf’s grief as strong as her own. “I know,” she said as she wiped the tears from her cheeks. I can’t believe I still have any tears left to cry. “But I don’t enjoy my emotions being out of control. This despair … it’s … it’s so deep that I don’t know if I can climb out of it.”
“Nobody does, Jennifer. It’s part of life. It’s actually the part of life that makes it all worth living.”
Jen’s eyes narrowed. “Crying to the point of dry heaving makes life worth living? Are you trying to piss me off?”
Decebel reached out a hand and gently wrapped it around her upper arm. He tugged her toward him and, when she went willingly, pulled her into his powerful embrace. “When am I not trying to piss you off?” he asked before sucking in a deep breath. Jen knew he was taking in her scent, that the familiar smell comforted his wolf. “You know I think you’re sexy when you’re irked.”
She laid her head against his chest. “Mmm-hmm, stop trying to distract me,” she murmured. “What do you mean it’s what makes life worth living?”
“You’ve heard Vasile and Alina both say it,” he said. “There is no light without the dark, not in this world. There is no joy without sorrow. Or maybe, a better way to explain it is that a person cannot appreciate the good in this life unless they have suffered the bad.”
Jen remembered both Vasile and Alina saying similar things, and she knew what Decebel said was true.
“It doesn’t make it hurt less,” he said, answering her thought before she could speak it.
“No,” she agreed. “It doesn’t.”
After a few minutes of silence, Decebel hummed and then he started swaying. Jen listened to the deep timbre of his voice as the humming turned into words. Her lips turned up slightly. It was a song she’d sung to him many times before and a promise she’d made to him if ever he needed it again, she would remind him who he was.
“As I am reminding you,” his voice filled her mind even as he continued to sing. “You are mine. My mate, the mother of my child, the best friend of Jacque and Sally.”
“Are we going to be okay?” Jen’s voice sounded small and vulnerable.
“Is there any other option?” Decebel asked.
“Normally, I would answer no. But now? Now, I’m not sure of anything anymore. I don’t know what the future is going to look like for Thia, Slate, and Titus. I don’t know if we are going to have enough allies to defeat the damn Order. They seem to be crawling out of the woodwork. I don’t know if Fane is going to be able to fight every wolf that comes to stand against him. I just don’t know.”
“That’s where faith steps in,” her mate said as he continued to sway with her, dancing quietly in the safety of their suite. “The Great Luna is on our side, and if we follow her, she will guide us.”
“It’s that simple?”
“Yes.”
“But that doesn’t mean we won’t have pain.” Jen sighed. “It doesn’t mean we won’t suffer.”
“No,” he agreed. “But it does mean that we have a Creator who cares and is with us and feels our suffering.” He paused, and Jen could hear the thoughts rushing through his mind. “When you went on your hunting spree in the Order’s compound, were you on your own?”
“You know I wasn’t. You can see my thoughts.”
“So, the Great Luna was right there with you while you fought for justice. You were the arm of her justice.”
Jen nodded. “And if she hadn’t been with me, I would have killed every single person I came upon.” The thought made her feel sick, not proud.
“I know you’re hurting, and we can talk for as long as you want to and as often as you need to,” Decebel assured her. “But I think the best thing we can do tonight is get some rest.”
Jen knew he was right. She needed sleep in the worst kind of way. She let him lead her to their room and strip off her clothes before climbing into bed. She didn’t have the energy to put on her pajamas. Decebel turned off the light and crawled in beside her. He pulled her tightly to his side and wrapped his arms around her. Again, Jen laid her head on his chest. Her wolf had been pushing against her to let it take over. The wolf didn’t worry about what was to come or what was in the past. The wolf lived in the moment. Jen let her beast have control, and finally she relaxed. Her eyelids drifted closed.
“Sleep mate,” Decebel’s wolf rumbled. “All will be well.”
A week had passed since the Blood Moon ceremony, and Jacque still felt as if she was merely going through the motions of her life. She slept, she got up, and she took care of Slate. She, Jen, and Sally would sit in the library and let the kids play. Little was said among them. Mostly, they stared at the three pups on the floor. Thia decided she should teach seven-month-old Slate to walk. He was already doing the army-crawl thing as well as raising up on his hands and knees and rocking back and forth like a race car at the starting line ready to take off. But much to Thia’s frustration, as soon as Slate would lift an arm to move forward, he’d fall flat on his chubby face.
“Hell,” Thia spat when once again Slate tumbled forward.
“Thia,” Jen growled, the voice of the woman’s wolf present in her tone. “I have already told you to stop using that word.”
“Mommy do,” Thia said, her own voice filled with accusation.
“Mommy is a grown a—” Jen stopped herself and took a breath before continuing. “Mommy is an adult.”
“Aunt Jen,” Titus said, “if you don’t want Thia to say hell, why
