She nodded, her eyes a little unfocused as she wrapped her arms around his neck and held him tightly. “I’m glad it’s you,” she whispered. “Even if I don’t know much about you yet. I know enough to know that I have been given more than I deserve in a mate.”
Gerick swallowed his emotions and then let her go when she stepped out of his arms. It was the hardest thing he’d ever done in his long life. He watched as she pulled out her phone and typed into it. A moment later, Tenia appeared.
“Everything okay?” the fae asked as she looked around the room.
“I’m not dead,” Myanin joked, though Gerick didn’t find it funny. She gave Gerick one last long look before turning to her friend. “We need to go back.”
Tenia nodded. She held her hand out to Myanin, who clasped it. She turned back to look at him.
“I’ll see you soon,” he said. It wasn’t a question. It was a command, and he didn’t attempt to hide that fact.
She nodded. “Yes sir,” she said with a smirk that made him want to grab her and keep her with him. Instead, he stood there and watched his mate disappear from his sight.
“She can take care of herself, Gerick,” Peri said, but he didn’t tear his eyes away from the empty spot where she’d stood.
“That may be true, but she shouldn’t have to. Not anymore.”
Skender had thought he’d known shame. He’d thought that he’d understood utter darkness and regret, but he’d been a fool. As his mate walked toward him, he couldn’t take his eyes off her. He didn’t have a right to look at her. Hell, he didn’t have the right to breathe the same air as her, but still he couldn’t stay away. She was his light. She was his everything. And she deserved so much better. The only thing he could offer her was the safety of her child. He would do anything it took to keep Torion safe.
Tenia stopped a few feet away from him. She was the most beautiful creature he’d ever seen, and not just because of her outward beauty, but because of the goodness he could feel from their bond. He’d been careful not to intrude into her mind, but his curiosity would get the better of him at times, especially when she was asleep, and her guard was down. Skender couldn’t help but look into her mind. She loved her son deeply. It was a love that Skender would never know. The wolf knew Tenia could never love him. At the moment, she couldn’t stand him simply because he was a part of the Order. Once she found out the depths of his depravity—all he’d done because he’d wanted to find his mate so badly, how far he’d sunk because he’d foolishly bought into the Order’s lies—she’d not only dislike him, but she’d also hate him.
“Thank you,” she said, her body rigid and her voice tight. “For keeping him safe.”
“You don’t owe me anything, least of all your thanks,” Skender said. “I don’t deserve it. You are my mate, and he is your child, which means I claim him as my own. There is nothing I won’t do to keep him and you safe.” He’d never meant anything more in his life. Goddess, what he wouldn’t do to turn back the hands of time and make different choices, but that was impossible. Nothing he could do would make up for all the pain he’d caused. He knew that.
“I met someone from your pack.” Tenia’s eyes met his briefly then she looked away.
Skender felt nauseous. He was afraid she would ask him to leave once she knew his secrets. He couldn’t. Skender wouldn’t leave her vulnerable. “Who?” He tried to sound neutral and unaffected.
“Perizada’s mate. I don’t know what you did,” she said, “but I know it was bad. Even worse than just being a part of the Order.”
He couldn’t lie to her, though he wouldn’t simply offer up the information unless she directly asked him. “It was,” he agreed. Skender could feel the disappointment through their bond. She’d wanted to believe he was more than the Order’s soldier. She’d been holding out hope that, maybe, he was like her and had been forced to be there.
She opened her mouth to speak, but Skender cut her off.
“Please,” he said, his voice shaking with emotion. “Don’t ask me.” Skender shook his head as emotion flooded his body. He nearly choked on the overwhelming pain running through him. “It’s bad enough that I live with it. I live with knowing I will never be worthy of you.” He kept his voice low, though no one else was in the hall with them. Skender stepped closer to her. He didn’t reach out to touch her. She was good and pure, and he was filthy. He would never put his hands on her again, afraid he might taint her.
Tenia’s face fell, and her shoulders slumped forward.
“I’m sorry, mate,” Skender said, his wolf coming to the forefront. Her head raised, meeting the glowing eyes of his wolf. “I will not let the human’s evil touch you. In my own desperation for my mate, I did not stop him. I swear to you, I will protect you and our pup.” Skender’s wolf bowed his head to their mate, and Skender felt his own beast’s hatred for him, for the man he shared a body with. The man had robbed them of their light. He’d ruined any chance of having the precious joy that was a true mate.
He stepped aside so she could enter the room where Torion slept. He’d been listening closely to the child, making sure the boy was all right. Skender had managed to find some fae who were only in the Order because of blackmail by Alston, and they’d been more than willing to help him guard Torion when he’d had to leave for
