Tenia walked to the door. She stepped closer, though not touching him. “No matter what you’ve done, I hope you will find peace one day. I hope you seek forgiveness from the Great Luna,” she said, her voice full of disappointment. The grief ripping through the bond nearly drove him to his knees. She pushed the door open then closed it behind her. Skender knew as soon as he got them safely away from the Order, if he didn’t die saving them, he would go to Costin and lay his life at the wolf’s feet. At least he could offer Costin the right to which he was entitled: the right to vengeance for how Skender had wronged him and hurt his mate. His former packmate deserved nothing less.
Tenia pressed her back against the door and slid down until she was sitting. Oddly enough, the door was the one place where the cameras weren’t pointed. So, for the moment, she was unwatched, and she could finally let go. Her eyes landed on Torion, who was asleep on the bed. He was blurry because tears had filled her eyes the minute she’d stepped into the room. Tenia felt as if her heart had been crushed inside of her. She didn’t know Skender. Yet, she could feel his humiliation, his regret, and his complete self-loathing through their bond, even with it shut as tightly as she could close it. His emotions were so powerful she read them loud and clear. Whatever he’d done, it was bad, even worse than what Myanin had done. Every horrible scenario ran through her mind. Had he killed a child? Was he like the evil men they’d left in the prisons? Bile rose in her throat at the thought, and she had to force the ideas away for fear she’d vomit right there on the floor.
After seeing how Myanin had changed, watching how her heart had healed, and then seeing how Gerick had reacted to her, Tenia had allowed a tiny seed of hope to grow inside. For a split second, she’d thought maybe, just maybe, there was a chance she could give Skender the benefit of the doubt. Maybe whatever he’d done could be fixed or he could be redeemed. But if he’d hurt a child, raped a woman, or something as equally abhorrent, she would never be able to get past it. She’d never want his love or desire his touch. She would always wonder if someone capable of such things even had the capacity to love. Yearning for that small hope of redemption, and then realizing it was futile, was more painful than she’d expected.
Tenia pressed her face into her hands and silently cried. Her shoulders shook as her mouth opened in a silent scream. How could life be so cruel? Why did some get to experience the love of another while others suffered the absence of it? Had she done something to deserve her current trial?
She hadn’t even realized she’d wanted the chance at love until it was there in front of her, within her grasp, and yet so very far away. She could see the desperation in Skender. He wanted her, that was obvious. The wolf looked at her like a man dying of thirst, staring at the last drop of water on earth. He wanted her, but he would never let himself have her, not even if she said she could forgive him. He wouldn’t accept her, even if she never asked what he did. Even if she said she wanted a clean slate, he would say no. Of that, she had no doubt. Did that mean there was hope for him?
“Stop it,” she snapped at herself, careful to whisper so the cameras wouldn’t hear or she wouldn’t wake up Torion and worry him. She was a mess. There was no point in walking down a path that would never be. The only thing she would have with Skender was his devotion to keep her and Torion safe, and that would have to be enough. Even now, she could feel his wolf reaching for her, as if he couldn’t help himself. She knew it was the wolf and not the man because the wolf’s feelings were straightforward. There was no confusion or doubt. There was simply resolution. This was his true mate and a child he’d claimed. The wolf would destroy the world in order to protect them. It was that simple. A mate was supposed to fight for their bond. A true mate was supposed to want his mate so badly he’d kill anything that kept him from her.
“Not when his own sins have the potential to destroy her,” the wolf said through their bond. “I will protect you even from him. Even if he wasn’t willing to give you up when the time comes, I would never allow him to touch you. A true mate is precious above all else. Neither of us deserves your light. Darkness isn’t only the absence of light, precious one. It can be the complete rot of the soul, where light can no longer live. I would ask that you only hold the bond long enough for us to keep you safe. Then ask the Great Luna to destroy it.
“Live the life you deserve and find the love of a male who can give you all of which you are worthy. That is what a true mate does. He puts the needs of his mate before his own, no matter the cost to himself.”
Tenia felt the cry of her soul at the thought of destroying the bond. It raged at the idea. How could she ask for a part of herself to be destroyed?
“If your son’s hand was rotten and could cause the rest of him to get sick, would you not cut it off?” the wolf
