“Juliet, this is all a bit of a mess. Idon’t know if I’m strong enough to deal with all of this.”
“Listen, Thomas, you listen to me. You arestrong enough; you always have been. You were always there for me when I neededto lean on you and now, I am there for you.” She always knows just what to sayand her kind words reassure me somewhat. “What is it that worries you themost?”
“That I won’t be able to deal withre-visiting my past and that Janey is going to look at me differently and maybedecide she doesn’t like what she sees and take off.”
“OK, I think you are jumping the gun,Thomas. I haven’t known Janey long but you two have been together a long timeand she’s here too as I am at your side so trust in that.” Of course she’sright but it doesn’t stop me feeling anxious none the less. Physically I amfeeling much better, now able to walk about with very little pain so that’ssomething. I really didn’t want to distress Janey any more with a tale about mebeing involved in a car accident.
My host makes his appearance. He appearsto be in a jovial mood. “And how are we on this fine morning?” There was nodenying it was a fine morning. The mist and freezing fog had just cleared upover the bay to reveal one of those beautiful cool crisp winter mornings.However, I could not share his enthusiasm for the day ahead. “Let’s get ourselvesa hearty breakfast to set us up. Have you eaten, Thomas?”
“No, I was waiting on you and Janeyarriving, but I can help you prepare if you like?”
“No need, you sit still, you are my guest,and you are still recuperating.”
I try to put his mind at ease; “Yes butI’m already feeling much better thanks.”
“That’s as may be, but you took quite aknock and it’s best to keep your strength up for the day ahead.”
“About that, George—” My intention was toquiz him on where we were going but I was interrupted by the doorbell.
“Thomas, please can you get that if youdon’t mind. No doubt that’s Janey. I’ll just get the breakfast started,thanks.”
I make my way towards the front door andam pleasantly surprised at how I am able to walk with minimal effort or pain.Everything was healing up nicely already. I open the door and find Janeystanding there looking radiant. Every so often I look at her and catch myself.What a lucky guy I am, she is truly beautiful. She senses something is up, andI have been caught staring.
“Are you OK, Thomas?”
“Of course I am, I was just taking youin.”
“I can see that! I hope you like what yousee.”
“Naturally! You are a fine-looking woman,Janey Taylor. Come here.” I embrace her, and we kiss on the doorstep. I feellayers of anxiety which had been building up start to melt away.
“Can I come in?”
“Of course; of course, sorry! Clearly Iwas preoccupied.”
We head back to the kitchen and Janeystrategically places herself at the table looking directly out over the bay.“Wow George, that view is quite something. I don’t think I’d ever tire of it.”
“Thank you, Janey, and no, I never do.”
“Thank you very much for having me over,that was kind of you.”
“Not at all, you are Thomas’s wife, youare welcome here anytime. In fact, if you like, why don’t you stay here? Itmakes no sense you going back and forth all the time to that apartment.” Thatwas a surprise and we both turn to her to gauge her reaction.
“I couldn’t possibly impose. It was verykind of you to ask but I wouldn’t like to put you out and the apartment I amstaying in is lovely so it’s no problem. It has beautiful views too; not asspectacular as these views but lovely none the less.”
“It’s no imposition whatsoever and it’dmake life easier for you both. Have a think about it at least.”
“OK thanks.”
“That was very generous of him,” Julietwhispers in my ear.
“I know, it really was.” As I respond toJuliet, I notice Janey shifting uncomfortably in her seat and a strange lookhas come over her. “Is everything OK, sweetheart?”
“Yes, of course,” comes a fairly abruptand clipped retort. What has got into her? Maybe she doesn’t like getting puton the spot, but, like Juliet said, it was nice of him to offer.
We are all distracted with the smell offood. George is serving up a delicious, cooked breakfast and my mouth issalivating. There is very little chat as we all tuck in. Then, Juliet onceagain whispers quietly into my ear, “I sense tension.”
“Nonsense,” I reply,meaning to gently whisper this back but it came out a lot louder than I’dintended and rather than look at me, George and Janey share a look. It’s aknowing look and I find it disturbing. Maybe I am being paranoid? They don’teven know each other. Why would they be ‘sharing a look?’ Clearly my mind isplaying tricks on me which is not surprising given the stress I have beenunder.
It has to be said though, it does feelwonderful to have the support of both Janey and Juliet. I have worriedendlessly about bringing Janey into this; frightened about the prospect thather feelings towards me might change when confronted with the demons of mypast. But now there is another part of me countering this voice … rememberthose vows ‘for better or for worse.’ You can only run away from your past forso long. Inevitably it always has a way of catching up with you and at leastwhen I face it, it won’t be alone (hopefully). Juliet, I have no concernsabout. She knows all about my past, she was there. Perhaps it’s having her herenow which is giving me the strength to stand strong and to include Janey.
It has also been playing on my mind to goand see mother. I will need to have a chat with Juliet about her. That,however,
