As the years advanced and Rick showed more and more interest in the field of archaeology and had a strong desire to travel, Edward supported him in all kinds of ways. He had once asked Rick if he would like to join his business and offered him a position. However, Rick had quickly realized it wasn’t for him, and this time, unlike before, Edward accepted his son’s decision and did not pressure him about it, instead, championing Rick’s own interests. Instead of fighting against their differences, he enjoyed and took pride in them.
Rick was so grateful to have a father who understood him and who accepted him for who he was, not who his father had thought he would be, or wanted him to be. When he told his father he wanted to pursue an education in archaeology, Edward not only encouraged him, but he helped pay for his tuition.
Rick felt his confidence grow over the years. He got top marks at university and was awarded many scholarships for graduate studies. He was also granted excellent opportunities for field work, gradually becoming known and respected in his field.
Knowing he had unconditional love, support, and acceptance from his father buoyed his spirits and was a constant source of strength for him. Whenever he called, his father would pick up the phone. He expressed genuine interest in Rick’s activities and told him often how proud he was of him. He even kept a scrapbook of Rick’s accomplishments over the years, something he would proudly show off to his friends and colleagues.
Events in Rick’s life continued to speed by. Weeks, months, even years seemed like minutes. Rick saw it all at once. And in this place, this strange library of sorts, he realized he could slow time down or speed it up at will, or relive it as many times as he wished. It was completely up to him. He sensed, too, that if he chose to, he could stay here. For as long as he wanted, or forever. It was his choice. And whatever he chose, it would be ok. In the end, somehow, he knew he would end up in a place where he was safe and free to be as he truly wished. And that he had all the time in the universe to experience it, for as long as time and space existed. It was a liberating feeling. Pure and total freedom. He sensed that there was much more, too, that he could know. All he had to do was to keep going through the books in the library.
This time, Edward lived into his nineties. He’d never taken up the smoking and drinking habits that had become his constant companions before. He was healthy and vital and active until the end. He’d died peacefully in his sleep of natural causes. Only one week earlier, he and Rick had spent the day together, getting a private, guided tour of an upcoming museum exhibit that Rick’s archaeological work had contributed a number of important artifacts to. For Rick, it had been a sublimely perfect day. The culmination of a life he cherished.
Though experiencing deep sorrow over his loss, Rick felt and understood and appreciated the totality of a happy life he had lived with his father. Where there once was pain, now there was joy. Where there once was loneliness and isolation, there was belonging. Where there once was sadness and anger, there was happiness and peace. Where there once was estrangement, there was now a deep connection, filled with acceptance and love.
It all felt so real. Rick had a new lifetime of memories he could cherish and relive for the rest of his life.
He also understood that the book of Edward Braeden had complexities that he could explore, long before Rick was even born. He could have the opportunity to know his father’s journey, as only his father had known it. He could appreciate all the events and people and thoughts that had made his father the man he was.
Rick also sensed that if he were only to flip through the pages of this particular book, he could experience different lives with his father. But he hesitated, this one was so joyous. He wanted to savor it, to relish the experience, and let it seep into his soul.
Then, Rick came back into himself. He found himself back in the hallway of his childhood home. He looked in the mirror again, seeing the reflection looking back at him. But it was more than a mere reflection. He saw himself with new eyes. He saw his younger self, an older self, all the stages in between, they were all one. They were him. The reflection he saw in the mirror was nothing less than all the possibilities of his life, but as one.
And now a new understanding crept in, along with the most profound sense of calm and peace Rick had ever known. It wasn’t really his father’s opinion of him that had held him back all the long years, it was that he had owned that opinion, taken it as an immutable truth, when it was no such thing. The burden of unresolved pain and anguish his father had felt at the time, from a lifetime of his own experiences and challenges, was shifted to Rick, unfairly misplaced, and yet Rick had accepted it without question, as though it perfectly defined him. He now knew he could have freed himself all along, at any time, it was his choice. He could have chosen to simply let it go. He smiled at how easy it now seemed, how simply effortless it was to release a heavy burden he’d been carrying for far too long. He could lay it down
