Θ
Felix moved up the stairs to his cell, his legs heavy, like lead. He would speak with Thad one more time and then he would leave, he hated goodbyes. Emotions swirled around him and his fist tightened on the rolled-up parchment in his hand and crackled. He found his friend sitting at the table, sipping wine. It had been over a week since Dean had died and Thad had been despondent, drinking wine and training. He did little else. The next morning after Dean’s death, they were told that Zaza had drank whatever it was that the physician had given Dean and she had died in Dean’s arms. Felix announced that he would pay for the couple to be buried together at his family’s cemetery. He told his friends that he loved Dean like a brother and could not bear to be parted from him or to have his body thrown into a mass grave. He said his mother would not forgive him.
“I am ready to leave, brother. I wanted to say farewell,” Felix said softly walking in. Thad looked up, his face pale and haggard. He tried to smile and failed miserably.
“I know your family will be relieved that you’ve given up the arena,” Thad said and then did manage a real smile.
“So they are. I wish to extend to you the invitation, come and live with us brother. You are nearly there and can buy your freedom soon. Our home is waiting for you and you will be welcomed and loved,” Felix said softly, placing his hand on Thad’s shoulder.
“I’ll consider it, brother. Thank you. Thank you for also taking Dean and Zaza with you,” he said and his voice broke.
“You are not alone brother, my family is now your family,” Felix said. He was afraid that Thad would throw his life away in the arena, to join his friends. Felix’s heart squeezed. He could fight no longer and only wanted to go home.
“Thank you, Felix. Truly, thank you,” Thad said and stood up. He drew Felix in and Felix felt his bones shift as Thad gave him a hug goodbye.
“Brother, read this careful then burn it,” Felix said mysteriously and stepped back and nodded. Thad looked at him oddly and Felix shook his head and his eyes cut over to the door in warning. He turned and left the cell. He’d already said his goodbyes to Atticus and his other friends. He looked around the Ludus, taking one last look. He would leave via the main entrance, where guests and civilians went. He heard the roar of the amphitheater and he shivered. He would never watch another game again; he would never step foot there and watch another man die.
Thad walked to the door and watched the man depart. He shook his head and went back inside and unrolled the parchment. His heart slammed into his chest so painfully, he sat down hard on his bed. It was a letter from Dean. He smoothed the scroll out with shaky hands and began to read, the words blurring.
Thad, this is important and you need to burn this letter after you read. Even though it’s in English, you need to destroy it. Six months ago, I went to doctore and Glaucis to check the accounts and see if I had enough money to buy my freedom and Zaza’s freedom. As it turned out, I did. Glaucis made a discrete inquiry for my release. He was informed by the emperor’s clerk that because Domitian liked me so much, he would not see me released. He wished me here to entertain him and to fight for the glory of Rome.
“Fuck me,” Thad whispered and kept reading.
Dude, that was so a death sentence and there was no way I was gonna stay here and play for that fucker. I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you, but dude, you wear your heart on your sleeve.
Thad snorted at that and wiped his eyes.
Doctore and Glaucis helped me, along with Felix. Don’t be mad, Felix knew more than us what was at stake. He and the doc helped me and Zaza with this. We are leaving Rome and Italy; I am too well known here. We are heading to Syria, where Zaza is from. Felix is going with us and we’re going to set up a trading post there with spices and such going through there to Felix’s family. Unfortunately, that means I’ll never see you again, but we can keep in touch via Felix, if you make it out of there. You can come to Syria; I’m sure Felix’s family will help you get there. Thank you for being my friend and my brother. Now, the really important part. You really need to act like I’m gone. There can never be any suspicion that I’m alive. For all our sakes, don’t show any kind of joy, relief or happiness for a while. Glaucis says there are spies all over the Ludus, so watch your back. Take care and watch your ass in the arena, but also with that bastard emperor. Don’t trust him when you have the money for release. Semper fi. Oorah!
Thad got up and went to the brazier. He set the sheet on the hot coals and the papyrus began to curl and burn. He let the tears slide down his face, his heart light and the tightness in his gut and shoulders eased. He thought about what Dean had said about the emperor and he felt rage wash over him. The bastard had taken everything and everyone he
