I knew about his alcohol addiction, just like his wife and children. What they didn’t know was what he was capable of. He didn’t beat them as some alcoholics do, and probably considered him a harmless drunk.
“Please,” he whispered intensely. His daughter had got out of the car and was fishing for her handbag on the back seat.
“I wish someone had heard my begging, back then…” I uttered. How different would my life be now, if Grandma was still here!
What did Raymond think was going to happen? Was he expecting me to jump at him and settle it all with a fight? He had no idea that the damage was already done, and that his bad conscience definitely wasn’t what I was after.
I turned and walked away from him without a word, but I politely said hello to his daughter as she walked past me as if nothing was wrong.
I sat down in my car, put the window down and started the engine. While I was backing away from the driveway, I overheard their short conversation.
“Who was that?”
“Jehovah’s Witness.”
They say that revenge is sweet. But all I felt was anger, then sadness, and in the end, emptiness. Not even a hint of satisfaction.
Connie
Putting aside my health, which was getting slightly worse every day, our New Zealand holiday was truly amazing. I would have even ranked it among my top ten best moments, right after Ruby’s birth and the day she first told me she loved me. A strong and frequent dosage of aspirin was keeping my headaches at bay, and various menthol sprays and drops were helping with my cold and cough, more or less.
Despite my illness, I tried to stick to a normal daily routine and followed our list of planned trips. Back in Auckland, we went to Mount Eden and attended a lecture on Maori history. We visited Cape Reinga and admired a beautiful view of two oceans meeting. In order to somehow balance the grown up trips, I took Ruby bobsledding on sand dunes, so that Dad could go snorkelling with orcas and dolphins by the Tutukaka coast. In all honesty, I would have loved to try that too, but my lungs weren’t up to it anymore. We admired the beautiful Cathedral Cove on the Coromandel peninsula, named after its limestone rock arch; Hobbiton, where we could re-live scenes from our favourite Lord of the Rings, and Waitomo Cave, where Ruby excitedly whispered made up stories about cursed bats.
A trip to Taupo was a hit with all of us, Dad and I mainly appreciated the roaring Huka falls, Ruby loved swimming in the actual lake. Its cold water was interspersed with underground thermal springs and she could bask in the warm spots. I was doing the same, I’d been feeling cold all the time and the hot springs by the shore were doing wonders for my body.
After that we travelled all around the northern part of the island, the diversity of its nature took my breath away and I couldn’t stop staring in fascination. All I was used to from Perth was brown vegetation, dry from the heat and sun, but here everything was so lush and green. Full of life. Every day as we drove to our next destination we saw countless vineyards, apple and avocado orchards, vast farms with deer and sheep. I understood what Mark meant about life-giving nature. New Zealand really seemed like the perfect place for the survivors to meet.
The reunion with Ruby and Dad had calmed me down a bit, and soothed the panic I felt in Australia, but here in New Zealand, I’d found a whole new type of anxiety. I had no idea which day was going to be my last, but whichever one it was, I was slowly but steadily getting closer to it. I could feel the effects of the virus on me, my strength was diminishing by the day and I often had to force myself into the activities we’d planned, however fun or tempting. In the evenings I went to bed with Ruby, or even sooner, which was saying something.
“I don’t like this cold of yours. Or the cough,” frowned Dad when we got back to our B&B at the end of the first week. “How about you go see a doctor?”
“And what would he tell me?” I protested meekly. “To rest and stay hydrated? I can prescribe that myself.”
“You have been doing well on the hydrating front, sure enough. But resting? Come on, you’re out doing all sorts with us every day!”
“I don’t mind, actually I’m glad we’re doing so much…” I had to spend every waking moment with them, there was no other alternative.
He let it go, but it was clear that my “cold” was still on his mind. Every once in a while I caught him looking at me, worried. I couldn’t blame him, I would have been doing the same. Parents never stop worrying about their children, even when they grow up.
That evening I suggested we change our sleeping arrangements. So far he had a bedroom to himself while I was sharing the second one with Ruby. I mentioned it might be better if I was the one sleeping alone from now on, so that I don’t infect them. It was obviously out of the question, but I didn’t want to keep waking my daughter up with my coughing. Dad agreed and admitted that if I hadn’t suggested it, he would have. What would become of our holiday if the child was sick?
Even though he didn’t realise it, his remark sent my mind down a totally different route. Shivering all over, I once again started questioning the effectiveness of the vaccine.
Were there any grounds for doubt at this point? Given the information I had about the plague, if the vaccine didn’t work, the two of them would have been suffering at least some of the early symptoms
