“What?” Annie squealed. “What do you mean? Mum, stop her!”
“You can’t want me to work for you… With my past… I’m sorry, I should have been honest with you, told you my past.”
“Amanda…” May took my hands. “You have proven to us you are an amazing horsewoman and a really special friend. What someone else did is nothing to do with you. Of course, you can stay, in fact, I would be very cross if you tried to leave.”
“Sorry…” I wiped my eyes. Looking at both of the worried faces around me.
“Why are you sorry?” May leaned forward. “You’ve had a tough life. I think you just need a break.” She opened her arms and held me, I sobbed, leaving a damp trail of tears down her shoulder. Eventually, she pushed me back. “I want you to remember something. I know we haven’t known you long, but I am a pretty good judge of character and you are a good person. I just want you to know that you can call here home for as long as you wish…”
I am embarrassed to say that I sobbed again even more loudly, as did Annie and even the stoic May had to wipe her eyes.
17
Seasons Greetings
It had been just over four months since leaving London and starting my life in Wiltshire. In the weeks followed my breakdown and revelations, May and Annie had done all they could to make me feel safe.
Stories of Edwin and what he’d done peppered the press as the trial progressed. It seemed every day brought a new revelation. The day the press reported that the stable staff, myself included, had been regularly drugged had made Annie howl with tears and hug me tighter than ever. It was clear that Anne’s death in a random hit and run was anything but random and my fears about Liz’s disappearance were brought to life when it was revealed that she had been flown overseas but sadly, remained missing.
***
During this time I had also met Annie’s boyfriend, Sean. Whereas I had expected a local boy, he was in fact from Cork in Ireland and spoke with a soft Irish brogue and had a mop of shocking red hair. He was tall and muscular and it was clear that Annie was totally besotted with him. He was easy to get on with and was soon a regular feature on our morning hacks with the three of us galloping, whooping and yelling up the hillside towards the Ridgeway.
He was studying agricultural technology, which, he had assured me over a pint at the local pub with Annie was more about computers and drones than wellies and muck spreaders. To be honest, I didn’t understand much about technology so nodded sagely before leaving them, not wanting to be a gooseberry.
***
As autumn progressed into winter, the weather became much colder. Annie and May became concerned about my lack of warm clothing, the winter winds blew down the hills and chilled me to the bone, it was a far cry from London when it never seemed to get cold enough to wear more than a fleece and potentially a waterproof jacket. Therefore, after I refused more generosity from Annie’s credit card, which, at my insistence, I was still quietly paying her mother for, they had kitted me out with more hand-me-downs this time in the form of jumpers which smelt faintly of mothballs and a heavy coat which swamped my body but was so warm it felt as if I was wearing a duvet and I never wanted to take it off.
We had settled into a comfortable life, waking and feeding before mucking out. More often I did this by myself allowing Annie to have more time in bed, not least as she was often sharing it with Sean. I would smile each day when they both came down and we could hack out for a gallop before he would drive away to study.
I broached the subject with May one day while we cleaning tack together while Annie was off meeting friends. Did she mind that her daughter had a boyfriend? She’d laughed and said she was delighted as he was a good man, she would rather know where they were than know that they would still be sharing a bed somewhere else. ‘When you’re a mother’ she had said, I’d scoffed saying I couldn’t see a time when I would ever have a family, she’d just looked sagely and smiled saying that she had said the same and that ‘my time would come…’
In the weeks leading up to Christmas, I went through my small savings pot which I still kept in the old boot and still added to weekly to ensure I was able to put a little money aside for Christmas presents. During my weekly shopping trips I looked to buy some small presents for Annie, May and Sean. It was nothing big, I couldn’t afford that, but I hoped at least they would be things they liked.
***
Christmas week was pretty much like any other with the exception that Annie was away for most of the time, shopping and spending time with Sean’s friends at parties. May was busy in the house so I worked through the yard work quietly and efficiently. The ground was rock hard so what little exercising I could do was in the arena, I let as many of the horses have a break in the paddocks as I could, allowing their owners to concentrate on holiday chores. I was very generously given cards and small gifts from most of the livery owners, and had enough wine and chocolate
