Everyone was intrigued when I handed out the wrapped gifts. Annie unwrapped her bracelet, made from braided horsehair with silver catches. “Duchess?” She had said and I nodded having made it from tail hair from her horse. May unwrapped the huge painted horseshoe, correctly guessing that it was one of Tiny’s decorated with tiny flowers I had painted on. Sean unwrapped the hip flask, wrapped in leather I had taken from an old saddle and moulded and sewn around it. He was delighted, “Even more so when it has been filled with Jameson’s.”
May took out a parcel for me. I protested but she smiled and said this was more something from the Boxing day sales as my coat had not survived the ordeal with Tiny. I unwrapped a new warm jacket. It fitted perfectly and was toasty warm. I couldn’t be happier.
II
A NEW LIFE
19
Safety in Numbers
“So your brother?” Annie and I were grooming together. I could tell she’d wanted to say something, so when she finally broached the subject of Adam I wasn’t surprised. I sighed,
I’d tried to contact Adam but had failed. It had been so long since I’d run away so I was no longer worried about being traced or brought back to the care home, after all, I was an adult now with my own life. However, a long time had passed and the people who I had known had moved on or left social services completely. Trying to ask for help had hit a brick wall. I had no idea where Adam was or how I could get in touch with him, this saddened me greatly. I needed to know that he was okay, try to get back in touch and apologise for leaving him alone. I just hoped that his foster care had been successful and that he had been happy. I looked up, Annie had been talking while I had been in my own world. “Sorry… I was miles away!”
“I could tell…” She laughed. “I was saying that as you know, Sean is pretty good with technology and thinks that he might have been able to trace him online.”
I fumbled and dropped the body brush I was holding. “What? Really?”
“Well, Sean looked into various online records. Please, don’t ask me how he does it, but he was able to find some details about the area he was fostered in and from there links to a local riding club and specifically some local shows where he thinks he was mentioned and then…” She pulled out her phone, flicking to a photo. “Well, you tell me. Sean sent me this.”
My heart stopped for a moment as I stared at the photo. A young man on a skewbald horse jumping a log fence, people lined the course. I stared at the face, he was older, he had become a handsome man but it was Adam. I gulped, tears pricking my eyes.
“There’s more.” Annie flicked the screen again and there he was a clear photo of him receiving a rosette and trophy. I recognised my young brother, despite the years that had past he was him.
“It’s Adam…” I lept at Annie, pulling her off her feet in a warm embrace. Then a cold feeling passed through my body. “But…” I stopped. “What if he doesn’t want to see me. I left him alone. I abandoned him. Oh God Annie, he might hate me.”
“He won’t…” Annie smiled. “Look, why don’t you write to him.”
“You’ve got an address for him?”
“Not quite. Sean gave me the details for a riding club secretary where these photos were taken. If we write to her, she should have his contact details. We can put your letter in a stamped envelope and hopefully, she can pass it on.”
“Okay…”
“Look, I know it’s a long shot, but it’s the only one you have…”
***
Annie was sitting on the sofa sipping wine while I started to write the letter. “Haven’t you got to be somewhere with Sean tonight?”
“No…” She smiled. “Besides I like drinking your wine and, of course, your company.”
“Why do I think, as we spend most of the day together that it’s the wine you’re after and not my scintillating conversation.” I glanced over as she was pouring herself another large glass. “I rest my case!”
Annie became bored and fidgety, I let her wander around aimlessly picking up my few books and photos I had on the bookshelves and mantlepiece. I left her to it, trying to concentrate on capturing so many years of my life in a simple letter. I was struggling, what do you say? How do you even open a letter to your long lost brother? ‘Hi Adam, remember me?’ I had a collection of screwed up balls of paper where I had tried and failed. However, eventually, the words came to me, I started to write from my heart and, after another two hours, I had a collection of pages which I folded and sealed into the blank envelope.
“Right there we are then…” I held up the envelope. “I’ll walk to the village tomorrow and post it and wait and see.” Annie smiled and hiccupped. “Come on, off to bed for you…” I made sure she staggered safely down the stairs and watched as she crossed to the back door of the house. May gave me a wave from the kitchen window and I was alone. What would happen? Adam might not even receive the letter. I would have to wait, but at least I had done something positive.
***
Annie was more clear-headed when she got into the car with Sean the next morning, as she sat down a small black box fell from her jeans pocket, bouncing off the gear stick. “What’s that?” He reached down and picked up the small item.
“Oh goodness, I found that in Amanda’s flat, I was sort of playing with it. I must have put it in my pocket. I haven’t a
