* * *
I’d tried to be as gentle as I could be, tried to state what Adam had said. I handed her the note he’d written. I tried… Kate had started to cry, great gasps of air, gulping and wailing, she had stood up slapping me hard across the face, clawing at my shirt in pure frustration and anger. I’d stood there, trying to calm her. It was when she left the room. I’d followed as she ran up the stairs, into her bedroom. She flung it at me, I picked it up from the floor, unsure what I was looking at and then, the penny dropped. I gasped before shuddering…
“Oh fuck!”
17
Moving on?
Sally gasped when she saw me. It was not a good sign when one’s groom is so shocked by your appearance. However, she had every right to be concerned. I’d drunk at least three bottles of wine, mostly directly from the bottle before collapsing in a heap on the floor. Sally had come in as she had not seen me on the yard that morning.
She had kindly woken me from the puddle of vomit I’d been lying in, and without saying a word had taken me to the bathroom, undressed me and held me upright while I had a hot shower. I was now sitting on the toilet while she towelled and dressed me in clean clothes.
“You mustn’t give up…”
“Why not?” My head was pounding and my mouth dry and foul-tasting. “I’m about to lose everything. I don’t even know if I will be able to pay you. Grace has made it clear she wants me penniless and homeless.”
“Come on… You’ll find a way to continue, you must…”
“Must I? You keep commanding me to do things. Sally, I don’t have to do anything. In fact, you don’t have to do anything. I appreciate you looking after me… It’s just…”
“Just what? I’m sorry, we can’t bring Olivia back, what has happened, well, it happened. It’s horrible and maybe, just maybe, you getting away from here will be for the best. But, you can start again. There must be other sponsors…”
“Not a chance, my name is mud…”
“Okay, so you get a job. Is that such a bad thought? You could become a work rider for another yard or even, God forbid, become a groom. Go somewhere else, show jumping’s big in Germany or even America.”
“Thank you, Sally…” I shakily stood up. “You’re right. A new start. I need to try to look for something positive out of this whole situation. And how about you?”
“I’ll be fine… I’m a groom, my work is pretty universal. I’ll find somewhere to go. Until then, I’ll be here to support you however I can.”
“Thanks, Sal… Where would I be without you?”
* * *
“Kate… Oh God, how long have you known?”
“I missed my last period and checked… A few weeks…”
I turned the pregnancy test in my hand before handing it back to Kate. “Oh shit, Kate… You need to tell him…”
“I wanted to… I was going to do it when I saw him, but he wouldn’t let me visit…”
“Oh shit… What the hell do we do?”
I took Kate into my arms and we hugged. This changed everything, I needed to get in contact with my pig-headed brother.
* * *
“Adam, you’ve got a face like a wet weekend…”
“Brian, I’m not sure what I have to be happy about…”
“Ah, young man. You have to understand, in prison, you need to go with the flow. It’ll make the time go faster.”
“Well, I’m likely to have a lot of time to pass…”
“The sooner you settle the better then. I’ve been in prison for eighteen years now, various places, some better than others, but the sooner you understand your fate and find something to do the better.”
18
Letters From Home
Adam
I appreciate you thinking you are doing the right thing. However, I have to tell you that you are being stupid. Please reconsider letting Kate visit you, she needs to see you. If after she has visited you still want to be pig-headed and selfish, and let this amazing woman go then so be it. But, please, at least listen to her.
A lot could happen, your case hasn’t come up and Kate is spending all her time and most of her money trying to get you a fair trial. I realise it may look grim but if you didn’t do it someone must have done so and she intends to find out who.
Please, I beg you, send her a visiting order. If nothing else, say goodbye like a man, don’t leave her as a coward.
I miss being able to talk to you, knowing you are doing well, so please, keep strong for her if not for me…
Your loving sister
Amanda
* * *
I stepped out and greeted the postman as he handed me a handful of brown envelopes, I sighed, no doubt more bills. However, there was a letter labelled from the Prison Service, I tore it open and saw that Adam had sent me a visiting order. I was overjoyed, finally, I could see my husband.
I was torn, I loved Adam, I knew he couldn’t have done this terrible thing and I would stand by him always, but the terrible stories in the newspapers and the abuse on Facebook. Amanda had told me to stop looking at the hatred posted about him and me on social media. But I knew it was still there. This wasn’t going to go away anytime soon.
What would I do if Adam stayed in
