“I need to go to bed,” I said, watching the hurt and longing play over his face.
“I’ll be here if you need anything,” he replied, pointing to the couch.
I washed my face and brushed my teeth, the routine helping to settle my heart that was beating a drum solo in my chest.
When I crawled into my cold bed, I dragged the sheets over my body, burying my head in the pillow.
A flash of loneliness tore at me, the pain so acute that I curled up into a ball and stayed awake for most of the night, replaying Sebastian’s words over and over again in my head.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
“Did you make miso soup?” Stella asked, piling her plate high with food.
I snatched the last piece of prawn sushi off the platter before she could reach it, making her pout. “I made you ramen. And sushi. Do you know how long it takes to cook all that? Especially with kids in the house?”
Stella and Malena had come over for a girls’ night as promised, bringing our other friend Willa with them. I hadn’t seen them in a while, and I missed them. The last member of our group, Maisie, couldn’t come tonight because she was at her boyfriend’s cabin. And if she wasn’t hiding out with him in the middle of nowhere, she was busy with her store and pregnancy.
And the reason why I hadn’t seen Willa in forever was that she wasn’t only managing her aunt Rayna’s café while she was participating in Shake That Cake, but she was also going to culinary school at the same time.
And I had two jobs, two kids, and not much free time, making a catch-up a rarity.
The whole group of girls was not only generous and always willing to help, but each one of them was also a knockout. If I didn’t love them so much I’d hate them for it.
I’d cooked more food than we could possibly eat, but leftovers were always welcome in my house. The kids had demanded pasta for dinner and refused to try any of the Japanese food I’d made. That was nothing new, but I wasn’t going to give up trying.
“Fine.” Stella sighed. “I guess I’ll survive with all this amazing sushi instead.”
Malena threw a chopstick at Stella who ducked, tipping over her wineglass.
I threw her the paper towels that were already on the table for exactly that reason. The girls were messier than my kids, especially when it came to food.
“We should start selling sushi at Sweet Dreams,” Willa said, waving her chopsticks around.
She hadn’t been able to pick up a single piece of food with them. Everyone else was almost finished, and Willa was still on her first plate.
“Screw this. I’m not made to eat with two sticks,” she said and threw the chopsticks on the table.
Stella giggled. “I told you to use a fork.”
“I wanted to use chopsticks,” Willa pouted. “You guys make it look so easy.”
“Okay,” Malena said, looking at me and stuffing her face while talking at the same time. “Spill. And don’t think you can leave anything out again.”
I knew she was still hurt that I hadn’t told her about the money Jim stole. And that I didn’t ask her for help when things got tight. But she knew most of what was going on, so I just needed to fill in Willa and Stella.
“How are you doing for wine? Do you want more?” I asked, eyeing her still full glass.
“Stop stalling, chiquita,” she said around a mouthful of food.
“Urgh, Malena, I think I just saw a half-chewed piece of salmon floating around your mouth,” Stella complained, refilling her own glass.
“Naw, I think that was prawn,” Willa put in.
Malena shrugged and continued eating. At work, she was the picture of perfectionism and dressed like every guy’s wet dream—I knew because we often had lunch together and I would pick her up from work with Lena in tow. Yet at the moment she was wearing leggings and an oversized sweater, her thick long hair bunched up in a messy bun. And there wasn’t a stitch of makeup on her beautiful tanned skin. She didn’t really need the makeup, but I got why she did it. Makeup was armor, and she wielded it to perfection.
“Just remember that I love you and you’re a lawyer. Attempted murder and causing bodily harm are frowned upon in your circles,” I said, taking another drink of my wine.
She leaned back, crossing her arms over her chest. “I promise I’ll stay on my side of the table. But I can’t promise there won’t be any yelling.”
“Okay, so here goes nothing,” I started, diving in. “You both know I noticed Sebastian over a year ago when I first started at the club.”
“Noticed him?” Stella asked, chuckling. “That’s a nice word for falling head over heels for someone you’d never met before. Or hadn’t ever talked to.”
“It wasn’t like that. I just liked the way he looked.”
Malena twirled her hand in the air, telling me to get on with it since she was well aware of that part of my story.
“And you also know I thought he’d never so much as looked my way in all that time,” I said. “Well…” Then I told them the whole tale, from first talking to Sebastian to last night.
“Now I don’t know what to do. The thought of never seeing him again breaks me in half. But he broke my trust. And he lied,” I finished, looking at the girls, who were doing their best impression of blow-up dolls; their mouths formed O’s, their eyes were wide, and none of them spoke.
I waved at them. “Hello? Anyone there?”
“Have you considered drawing dicks all over his bike?” Willa asked, looking at me innocently with her big doe
