Jessie found herself smiling at the concept that anyone on earth could manipulate or control Luke. “I don’t see that he exactly has you under his thumb.”
“Because I rebelled.”
“Don’t you suppose the struggle to become your own man made you stronger?”
His gaze narrowed. “What’s your point?”
“That if Harlan had made it easy for you, you might not have fought half so hard to get your own way. All of this could have been yours. You would have had a nice, comfortable life without really struggling for it.”
“Are you saying he deliberately battled with us over every little thing just to make us fight back?”
Jessie shrugged, refusing to spell it out any more clearly. She wanted him to look at his past from a fresh perspective and draw his own conclusion. “You know Harlan better than I do.”
Luke’s expression grew thoughtful. “I never thought about it that way before,” he conceded. “I always wanted my own place. I didn’t want to follow in his footsteps and simply claim what he’d already built. The harder he fought to keep me here, the harder I fought to go.”
“And you succeeded in making the break,” she pointed out. “You have a successful ranch of your own now, one you can be especially proud of because you know it’s the result of your own hard work, isn’t that right?”
He nodded slowly. “Jordan made the break, as well. He and Daddy used to stay up half the night fighting over his future. Daddy was fed up with him wildcatting at oil wells all over hell and gone. Told him it was time to settle down back here. Swore he’d cut him out of the will, if he didn’t stay.”
He paused, then suddenly grinned. “I just remembered something. I was here the night Jordan packed his bags and stormed out to move to Houston. He told Daddy he could take his inheritance and shove it. I came down when I heard all the commotion and found Daddy standing at a window watching him go. There were tears in his eyes and the strangest look on his face.”
“What kind of look?” Jessie asked.
“I realize now that it was satisfaction, maybe even that pride you’re so sure he feels for us. He was actually glad that Jordan was going after his dream,” he said, a note of astonishment in his voice. “Jordan even admitted to me later that he’d had an awfully easy time landing his first desk job in the oil business. He always had a hunch that Daddy had made a call or two.”
“Could be,” Jessie said. “Too bad he hasn’t tackled Jordan’s social life. It’s time he settled down. I think he’s finally ready.”
“Really?” Luke shook his head, clearly bemused by the discoveries he was making once he looked past those deeply ingrained resentments. “That would be something to see. I think Jordan’s going to surprise us all when he finally falls in love.”
“What about Cody? How did Harlan deal with him?” Jessie asked.
“In his heart, Cody was the one who always wanted White Pines,” Luke said. “Unlike Jordan or me, Daddy kept pushing him toward the door. The harder he pushed, the more Cody dug in his heels and made himself indispensable around here. The next thing we knew he’d built himself a little house down the road and was acting as foreman.”
Three brothers, Jessie thought, all a little stronger because Harlan had had the wisdom to make them fight for their choices in life, rather than handing them a future on a silver platter.
And then there was Erik.
“Erik was the only one the technique backfired with,” she said softly. “He was never like the rest of you. He was gentle, eager to please. You said yourself the other day that he was the diplomat. Whenever Harlan pushed him, he backed down, tried to find a middle ground, hoping to win his father’s approval. Instead, Harlan just grew more and more impatient with him.”
Luke reached for her hand. Jessie supposed he meant it only as a gesture of comfort, but it made her senses spin. She couldn’t have pulled away, though, if her life had depended on it. Fortunately, she supposed, Luke broke off the contact all too soon.
“I suppose the real skill in parenting is understanding each child’s personality,” Luke said thoughtfully. “Daddy said just last night how amazed he was at how different we were. Maybe if he’d recognized that sooner, Erik wouldn’t have suffered so, trying to be something he wasn’t. And you wouldn’t have lost him.”
Jessie took a deep breath and met Luke’s gaze. It was time to tell him everything and see where it led them. “I suspect I was destined to lose him one way or another. At least this way he never had to lose me to another man.”
Luke choked on the sip of wine he’d just taken. His eyes watered as he stared at her with astonishment written all over his face. “What are you saying?” he demanded.
Jessie drew in a deep breath. She wasn’t going to let him mistake her meaning with subtleties. “That I was in love with you long before Erik died,” she admitted boldly.
Luke was shaking his head before she completed the sentence. “Don’t say that,” he protested.
“Why not? It’s true.” She leveled a gaze into his troubled eyes. “Why do you think I left here after Erik died?”
“Because you couldn’t bear to be around me, knowing I’d caused his death,” Luke said.
Jessie decided she’d already opened the door. It was time to walk through it.
“No,” she told him softly, but adamantly. “Because I was filled with guilt over my feelings for you. From the day Erik and I moved into White Pines, I felt this connection to you. I didn’t want it. I couldn’t explain it. I certainly could never have acted on it, but it was there, just under the surface, tormenting me.”
Tears welled up in her eyes, spilled down her cheeks. “You have no idea how guilty I felt when
