And yet he hadn’t touched her. There’d been no more bone-melting kisses, just spine-tingling, sizzling looks. He was so careful to avoid even the most casual contact that she almost screamed with frustration. Her skin heated with anticipation whenever he neared. Her entire body ached with longing. These old, familiar, unfulfilled yearnings were driving her flat-out crazy.
“You okay?” Jessie asked when Kelly called her on Friday. Five days of skirting Jordan had taken their toll and obviously it showed in her voice.
“No,” she said succinctly.
“Uh-oh, what’s Jordan done now?”
“Nothing.”
“Isn’t that what you wanted?” Jessie asked, sounding vaguely confused.
“Yes...no.” She sighed heavily. “Dammit, Jessie, I don’t know anymore.”
Instead of offering the sympathy she’d anticipated, her friend chuckled. “Oh, sweetie, I’m sorry, but watching the pair of you doing this dance of seduction is wearing me out.”
“How do you think I feel?” Kelly retorted.
“Let me ask you something. You admitted to me that you love him, so that’s not the issue, is it?”
Leave it to Jessie to cut straight to the chase. “No.”
“And he obviously cares enough about you to want to spend the rest of his life with you and to raise Dani as his own. He may not call it love, but it’s definitely a commitment, right?”
“Yes. What’s your point?”
“Don’t get mad at me for asking this, but do you think you might be holding out to punish him for all those years when he never gave you a second glance?”
“That’s absurd,” Kelly said indignantly. “What would be gained by that?”
“Satisfaction, maybe,” Jessie offered. “Tormenting him might be a kind of sweet revenge for all those years you spent silently suffering.”
“Absolutely not. That’s not the kind of person I am.”
“Not normally, I know, but these are unusual circumstances. It might be natural to want to exact a little revenge because he flaunted all those other women in your face. I’m not saying that’s what’s behind your indecision here, I’m just suggesting you think about the possibility.”
Jessie’s suggestion angered her. She didn’t like thinking she was capable of exacting revenge for deeds she thought she’d long since forgiven, deeds that had never been meant to hurt her in the first place. Still, she knew her friend wouldn’t have mentioned it if she didn’t think there might be some validity to it.
“I’ll think about it,” Kelly agreed.
In fact, she thought about little else for the rest of the day. She recalled all the instances when Jordan had spent hours on end talking about the hottest girls in high school and asking her advice on how to get them to go out with him. Not that he’d had that much trouble. Even as teenagers, girls had gravitated to him because of his good looks and fun-loving personality. It hadn’t hurt that he was a star athlete, too.
He’d been equally sought after during his one year in college, chased when he’d been working the oil fields, and on every year’s most eligible bachelor list once he’d settled in Houston. He’d had more relationships than she could count, but when each one had ended for one reason or another, he’d always come back to her to lick his wounds. She’d consoled him, boosted his ego with her nonjudgmental adoration, made him laugh again.
And all the while, her own heart had ached.
When she’d finally tired of the pattern, she had turned to Paul Flint and impulsively married him, determined to put Jordan and her wasted emotions behind her once and for all.
But Jordan had refused to stay out of her life. He had befriended Paul, even though he couldn’t stand him. He’d stayed on the fringes of their lives, close enough to pick up the pieces when the marriage had fallen apart. The divorce had taken a long, messy year or more after she’d returned to her family’s ranch. Jordan had stuck by her through every terrible minute of it.
She’d experienced a wild moment of hope then, sure that it was finally their turn. Within weeks, however, he had announced his engagement to Rexanne. Though Kelly had known better than to hope for the impossible, she had been devastated just the same. She’d shored up her defenses so securely after that that the marines couldn’t have penetrated.
All that night she lay awake considering Jessie’s question. Was it possible that she was cutting off her nose to spite her face, just to get even with Jordan for not turning to her sooner? Was she holding out for moonbeams, when what he was offering was much more solid?
From practically the first moment she’d ever set eyes on Jordan she had known in her heart that he was the man she would one day marry. That sense of inevitability had taken a very long time to shake. Now, when she’d least expected it, her chance was finally here and she couldn’t seem to bring herself to say yes. Was that nothing more than pure perversity?
As Jessie had pointed out, he might not have said the words she desperately wanted to hear. He might not have said he loved her, but he was willing to stand up in front of God and everyone and declare his intentions to love, honor and cherish her for the rest of their days.
In that moment, she made up her mind. If Dani had no objections, if Jordan’s determination hadn’t wavered, she would say yes.
And then she would dedicate the rest of her days to making sure that neither of them ever regretted the choice they had made.
9
“Mommy, is Jordan going to be my new daddy?” Dani asked the following morning while shoving her French toast around in a puddle of syrup.
The unexpected question brought up the subject that had kept Kelly awake all night long.
“If he
